The Thistle Emperor
by The Tox
Summary: !DISCONTINUED! AU. The spoiled Jia-Long/Hong Kong always gets what he wants; including people. When he finds the unwilling prince Egill/Iceland he decides that he's next on his long list of wants. Forced crossdressing, violence, humiliation. A love story.
1. Prince Crashing Down

_This story has three main characters; the prince of Dankrieg Egill (Iceland), the emperor of Xiang Yao (China) and the heir to the Xiangese throne, Jia-Long (Hong Kong). Other important characters are the King Mathias (Denmark) and Queen Lukas (Norway) of Dankrieg. Dialogue written in italics is Xiangese, while dialogue written normally is spoken in the native tongue of the Dankriegian people. _

_The main pairing of this story is Hong Kong/Iceland, but don't expect it to be all fun and rainbows. "The Thistle Emperor" is not a happy story, and not one meant to be taken lightly. Be ready for the worst._

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><p><strong>Chapter One – Prince Crashing Down<strong>

Come spring the goat willow blossomed, and prince Egill could take his first steps outdoors. The winter had been long and harsh, and he had been sick with a pestering cold for the last four months, the illness having deprived him of all enjoyment the snow and ice had to offer. No hunts for wolf in the forest with his brother, no skating on the ice and no long war of throwing snowballs even with the king; just months of lying still and coughing, sneezing and feeling miserable.

But with the gentle spring breeze entering his chamber, and the early morning sun blessing the sheets of his bed, Egill finally felt better; healthier than he had done for so long, well rested and almost eager for a new day. Everything was so idyllic; from the song birds outside of his window to the smell of freshly picked flowers of the bouquet near his bed; even a normally sour prince like Egill smiled when got up.

For the first time in months he dressed himself, feeling oddly proud as he did, and letting himself smile again in front of the mirror when he saw some colour back on his cheeks. He had always been pale, but the sickness had made him look like Death had visited him, and caressed his very face. Now he looked alive again, and stretched his lazy body, trying to wake himself up even more. His white hair was tousled, as always, but the king's hair was far wilder than his so no one ever bothered him about it.

When he walked out from his personal chambers towards the throne room to visit his brother and the king he started making plans of what to do for the day; he wanted to ride, and pick some flowers, and sit outside and read, and have some tea in dining hall. Maybe a game of chess with his brother, and an hour in front of a training dummy with a sword? He had been unable to do all of this for so long that he was surely out of practice. He needed to get his mind and body working again.

He expected, when he reached the throne room, to see King Mathias and his brother Queen Lukas both excited and happy to see that he was up. He expected to be showered with attention, and words of encouragement. A hug from the king which he would object to, and a rare smile from his brother he wouldn't return. After all, as the flowers and the song birds told him; today was a good day.

Except for the fact that it was not. His long time bound to the bed had kept him in the dark of the kingdom's affairs, and when he entered the throne room he had no idea it would be occupied not only by the king, queen and royal advisors, but also diplomats and a leader of another country.

The echo he caused by opening the port caused all attention to befall him, and with so many eyes looking to criticize him, Egill felt his knees growing weaker again. Mathias didn't even smile, and of course neither did Lukas; or the other man in the room dressed like royalty; an effeminate and strong looking man of eastern origins, with long black hair in a pony tail.

"Who interrupts our meeting?" he demanded of Egill, with a snappy voice and a clear accent. His advisors, all men from his home country, also seemed fit to glare at the poor prince.

"I-" he started, before realizing he should probably kneel; if only his body would listen. He was lucky to be brother of the queen, who saved him.

"My younger brother", explained Lukas, causing the attention to be shifted to him. "Who has been bedbound till today, your highness."

"Then tell this younger brother of yours to leave", the eastern ruler said. "We have more important matters to discuss."

There was no need to tell him twice; Egill was quick to turn around and leave, without even apologizing. He might get scolded later, as he probably should be, but he wished not to stay in the room with a man so petite, yet with an aura so dangerous. He could only hope they were negotiating peace, and not a war proclamation.

All servants and maids he met greeted him kindly, saying they were happy to see him up, but he could tell they were as nervous as he had gotten from the foreign man in the throne room. However, no one could tell him much about the meeting that was being held; he could just tell that no one expected things to go over well. It was a tense situation, and as he ate – lunch; it was around noon – he had a hard time swallowing his food.

After lunch was over he tried to force himself to relax, so he could do something else. Riding outside seemed like a relaxing idea, sure to pick him up, so he started heading towards the stable. The first months after Lukas' marriage to the king, when he had moved to the castle, he had gotten lost almost on a daily basis; and now, four months after not leaving his room, Egill was back on square one. The library was where he thought the study to be, and the living room where he had expected to find the stable; it was a miracle he had even found the throne room that morning.

Angered, he started to search for a servant to ask for directions, regardless of how shameful it was. But wandering about in his own home, completely lost, was even more embarrassing.

The next servant he saw was male, and just slightly taller than him, walking almost aimlessly in front of him when he turned around a corner. The servant seemed lazy, as he wasn't carrying anything, and just stared out the painted windows at the inner garden. However, Egill could tell he was a servant, for he was not dressed as a noble, or a guard. His clothing did appear odd, but since he had yet only seen him from behind, Egill thought nothing of it as he approached him.

Still he had a problem addressing servants, as he didn't want to be rude, but the king had taught him to not be respectful to the people below him. He had to show who was higher in rank, or something like that. Thusly, he did not say "excuse me", or "can you" before stating his request.

"Take me to the stable." He thought he sounded like an unpleasant jerk, but what would a mere servant do?

The servant turned around at his words, and when Egill saw his face he immediately froze; it was not someone _below_ him. The boy in front of him shared an undeniable resemblance to the eastern leader in the throne room; perhaps he was even related to the ruler.

The eastern looking boy had a blank expression, and for a moment Egill dared hope that perhaps he was unfamiliar with the language.

As he wasn't speaking, just staring at Egill, he dared hope for this more, so he didn't address him. The foreigner also remained silent, but began moving, walking around Egill, studying him from every angle, with a thoughtful look. It was embarrassing, and Egill felt like he was treated as a sculpture, or piece of art, but if the boy did understand his language he couldn't be even ruder and tell him to stop. So, as he was being observed by such critical eyes, all he could do was flush and stand still, waiting for the foreigner to do something.

Finally he stopped, in front of Egill, expression still blank; but slowly turning into a rather twisted, if miniscule, smirk.

"You're pretty", he said, his speech far better than the eastern ruler in the throne room even.

It was not words Egill had expected to hear, and he was completely clueless as to how he should react to them. It was flattering to be called pretty… had he been a lady. But he wasn't supposed to be pretty; he was a man, a prince, even. It seemed liked beard growth wasn't in his genetics, nor were strong muscles, but he wasn't a woman. He wasn't supposed to be "pretty".

Trying to not act too flustered by the supposed compliment, Egill decided to avoid it, pretend it never happened; sweep it under the rug; and move to more important topics.

"Who are you?" he asked, and then added – just to be safe, "sir." He didn't want to insult the guests; he would get scolded by it.

At the sir part, the foreign boy smirked again.

"Wang Jia-Long", he said, his name sounding very confusing to the prince. "Heir to the Emperor of Xiang."

Xiang! Egill had heard of that far eastern country, seen it on maps, read of it in books. One of the world's most powerful nations, secluded and secretive, uninterested of forming alliances and fond of starting wars. Suddenly, he was all the more nervous.

"Did I scare you?" asked Jia-Long with a bemused tone of his rather dull voice, and he tilted his head to the side, before walking forward towards Egill again. He cupped the prince's cheek and made him look forward.

Heir to the throne of Xiang or not; Egill was not going to let the foreigner touch him. He slapped the hand away and glared.

"Don't touch me", he said. Jia-Long looked at the hand that had slapped him, and Egill suddenly realized that regardless of his personal feelings, he had just done something completely stupid. He was about to apologize, as he would otherwise be forced to do from his brother, when Jia-Long grabbed his hand instead and pulled him, forcing him to follow the foreigner through the hall.

"S-stop", he protested, wondering where they were going, and why – for whatever reason – Jia-Long seemed to know the castle layout better than he.

Jia-Long did not stop, despite his protest, and regardless of being the same build as Egill – from the looks of it at least – he was far stronger, and Egill could not escape his hold. He tried, of course, but his efforts were fruitless.

He acted like a kid, he was sure his brother would say, but he couldn't make himself care. He did not want to go wherever Jia-Long was dragging him, and he did not like the Xiang-heir one bit, so forget formalities and politeness.

Eventually; finally; Jia-Long did stop, but he did not let go of Egill's hand.

"What's your problem?" Egill snapped at him, trying to free himself again in vain, while his captor was looking right at the port they were in front of. As he could not get loose Egill turned his head the same way, and noticed that they were again outside of the throne room, and finally, began to panic. He would get punished for this. Hard. "L-listen, I'm sorry if, t-that I offended you", he pleaded, hoping the horrible Jia-Long had a decent bone in his body. "I didn't mean to, I'm sorry, and-"

"Be quiet", Jia-Long said with a bored voice, turning his head towards Egill. "You're cute, but too noisy. Shut up."

And like that, all of Egill's attempts to be civil vanished from the surface of the Earth, and his distressed expression was replaced with an angered one.

"Well, you're a rude brat", he spat, not caring if that would lead to a war in the future or not. His country's wellbeing was the last thing on his mind, as he glared daggers at the Xiangese boy.

"I said, shut up", Jia-Long replied, rolling his eyes. "So like", he placed a finger on Egill's lips. "Shut. It."

If he thought the one way to make Egill listen was by touching him, Jia-Long was dead wrong, and the prince was eager to show him that. He was almost ready to bite the finger off, even if it would mean taking it in his mouth, just in time for Jia-Long to remove it, and push the port open.

With the throne room again before his eyes, Egill's anger was replaced by fear, and he realized that insulting Jia-Long – intentionally, too – was the gravest mistake of his life. And as Jia-Long started pulling Egill with him into the room he had to face the reality; it was too late for apologies now.

The Xiang ruler seemed angered at first when the door was opened, but smiled when he saw that it was Jia-Long who had interrupted them this time. Lukas and Mathias said nothing, though the queen looked at Egill with worry, so he turned his head down in shame. He had doomed them all.

"Yao", said Jia-Long to the ruler, addressing him too casually for him to be the emperor's son, and not formally enough to just be a member of his party. His words of being next in line for the Xiangese throne were probably correct.

"_What is it, Jia-Long_?" asked the emperor, Yao, in Xiangese. Egill could only recognize his captor's name, and braced himself for the impact of a scolding; or something far worse.

"I want him", Jia-Long replied, in Egill's native language.

"How?" asked Yao.

"For myself", Jia-Long clarified, before turning to King Mathias. "Give him to me."

The room fell quiet, even if the three royals of Dankrieg and their advisors were the only ones truly stunned to silence. Yao seemed to think it was nothing out of the ordinary; this request of the prince as if though he was a pet; and the Xiangese advisors were most likely used to it. But Queen Lukas' eyes were wider than usual, King Mathias' mouth hung open, and Prince Egill…

"No!" he exclaimed, his voice loud, much louder than usual, and echoing in the hall.

"Give the boy to Jia-Long", Yao said, turning his attention to Mathias. "King of Dankrieg. Do that, and you will have the alliance you wish for."

"No", Egill protested, hoping his brother's stupid husband would assemble his brain cells for once to realize the proposition was lunacy. He knew Lukas would never agree to it, but by the end of the day it was Mathias who held the title and power of King, and was left with the ultimate decision.

It would be beneficial for Dankrieg, Egill knew. Having a powerful ally like Xiang would play out in their favor in coming wars with Svear, and would keep enemies at bay. It would be the wise thing to do.

However, call him a selfish child, but Egill did not wish to become the pet – a toy – of the awful future emperor Jia-Long. There had to be another way. He would rather be poor, live off the street, again, like before Lukas spit in the monarch's face and won his heart. He would rather eat rats for the rest of his life and live drink the muddy street water, dressed only in minimal rags, than move to Xiang for Jia-Long's perverse pleasure.

Mathias seemed to contemplate it. Lukas glared at him when he noticed that, and declared defiantly to Yao that he would not treat his brother like a piece of meat of the market. Both Yao and Jia-Long seemed unimpressed, and the emperor decided to show how serious he was.

"If you do not give the boy to Jia-Long", he said very calmly, eyes focused on Mathias with a forced pleasant smile. "We will invade in ten days, and demolish your puny kingdom. We'll give the leftovers to Svear, and hand you over to their king as a prisoner of war." Egill flinched, when he realized how serious of a threat it was. "But if you do hand him over", Yao continued, still with his faked pleasant voice. "We will form the alliance you have suggested, and not lay a hand on your land for the coming century."

The king bit his lip, in a rare display of insecurity. Jia-Long's face didn't change, as it hadn't done during the entire ordeal, and his dark amber coloured eyes continued just staring out into space, seemingly disinterested. He knew that he would get his will done, Egill realized.

Asking Mathias to even consider Egill's feelings, his humanity, would be pointless, and give the king unneeded guilt. The prince knew this, so he didn't protest more, knowing he had lost. He tried not to think of how horrible his future was bound to become, nor did he attempt to pull his hand away anymore. He had given up, just like Lukas, who stormed out of the room.

Mathias looked after his wedded partner, his Queen, with sorrow. It was not an easy decision, even though the answer was so obvious.

"What will happen to him?" he asked Yao, voice dry and lacking the usual energy Egill always heard in it.

"That is not your concern", Yao replied curtly. "I will sign the document when you give your consent."

The king of Dankrieg gave Egill an apologetic look, his eyes so darkened by guilt, that Egill felt horrible for even having met them. The anger he felt towards Jia-Long, and Yao, was immeasurable, but only increased when he saw Jia-Long's expression finally change. When Mathias gave in, and said "He is yours", Jia-Long had the nerve to smile.


	2. Frail and Stripped

**Chapter Two – Frail and Stripped**

As dawn reached the kingdom Dankrieg, and prince Egill watched the sunrise from his chamber window, there was a heavy knock on his door as a guard announced that the carriage was ready. He was to leave the kingdom, forever.

Egill didn't tear himself away from the beautiful scenery at once, choosing to ignore the guard, with his eyes glued on the flaring red sky, and the way the early sun made the dewdrops on the goat willow's leafs outside of his window sparkle. It looked majestic. He was sure Xiang didn't have anything like it.

After repeated knocks the guard just decided to enter, and repeated his words about it being time to leave. Egill, whom hadn't been able to sleep all night, was still clad in the long white gown made for sleeping in. It wasn't spectacular, but he had never been one to care overly much about his looks. That's what Jia-Long, apparently, was for.

Eventually, as he heard the guard both getting frustrated; not knowing what to do, and aggravated; that he couldn't force Egill to go, he looked away from the window and told him that he would be down soon.

He had thought about escaping all night when he stayed up; tying his torn up sheets together to make a ladder, break the window, and then climb down. Live on the streets as he had struggled with for the first fourteen years of his life. But then he was reminded; if he did not come to Xiang faithfully Dankrieg – the filthy streets included – would be destroyed; demolished, as Emperor Yao had said. And so he had chosen to stay, and to not flee. Be responsible; and mature. No matter how ludicrous the circumstances were.

The guard left after his words, and he walked up to his armoire and stripped of the night gown, looking for something fitting. He had no rags in his royal closet, but he didn't want Jia-Long to think that he had dressed up specifically for him. Thus he just dressed in his simplest wear; red pants, frilly white shirt with too many cuffs and his favourite white boots. When he observed himself in the mirror on his vanity he realized that perhaps he had overdone it; he didn't look half bad despite all. As a final protest he chose not to brush his tousled hair, despite knowing bitterly that even if he had, no one would have been able to tell.

x

In the large entrance hall of the castle, that Egill only reached after asking a maid for directions, it seemed that everyone was waiting for him. It was early morning, yet King Mathias and Queen Lukas were fully dressed, wearing their finest clothing, and the many guards there also looked alert and ready. As did their guests; the Xiangese advisors, Emperor Yao, and Jia-Long. The latter, dressed in the same simple clothing from the day before, especially looked at him when he entered. His face didn't change when he saw Egill, but he did walk over to him, and took his reluctant hand.

Egill wanted to yank his hand away, and he glared at Jia-Long, but the Xiangese boy didn't care at all, as they walked hand in hand over to his brother. Lukas' eyes were dead when they looked down on him, and the hug he gave Egill wasn't very warm, or comforting. It was almost chilly, and when it was over Egill noticed that his hands were clenched to fists.

Mathias said his good bye with a hug as well, though his was almost bone-crushingly tight, enough so for Jia-Long to speak up.

"Let him go", he ordered Mathias. "You'll hurt him."

"I'm not made of china", Egill rebuffed; although the hug had been painful; when Mathias let go, glaring at Jia-Long whom looked back dully.

"I don't like it when people break my stuff", he said casually, and at his words Lukas finally snapped, raising a fist and throwing a punch at the Xiangese boy.

Mathias would have restrained him, had he had the time to react, but when Lukas was angry there was no stopping him; or so he thought. Before the fist could connect with Jia-Long's jaw the boy had raised a hand and grabbed it, twisting Lukas' arm until it hurt. Not betraying the pain he was surely feeling Lukas didn't so much as gasp, but Mathias could tell that he was hurting.

"Let go", he told Jia-Long, whom seemed to be very against the idea. "Let go or-" he had no real threat, but Jia-Long still dropped his hold of Lukas, when Egill placed his free hand on his in an attempt to make him stop.

He wasn't sure what had made the Xiangese heir let go of Lukas; his hand or Mathias' words, but Egill was still relieved his brother's arm was spared, even though he looked to be in great pain. Mathias put his arm around his queen, telling him it would be all right even though he sounded very unconvinced of it himself.

Egill knew that he had always been a nuisance in the king's book, someone he had to take in when he married Lukas and someone he had to scold and teach manners. But he wanted to believe, especially when he was lead towards the carriage waiting for them outside, that Mathias would miss him too.

The king and queen of Dankrieg followed the Xiangese party outside to stand on the dais before the stone street where the carriages waited. There were three there, all bound to four white mares each, made out of ebony wood and with blue curtains over the windows; but Egill felt that was for the best. If he had to stare out the entire trip chances were he would get homesick after just the first hour.

Jia-Long lead him to the carriage in the middle, but he found himself looking back at the castle that had been his home for the last year. Many of the months he had spent sick, just lying still, but even during those times he had been very happy and grateful for the palace. He would have died out on the streets, so he had to have gratitude for King Mathias for having him taken care of, even if he had only done it at his beloved's request.

When he saw his brother starting to sob, and Mathias' arm around his shoulders to keep him from launching himself forward, Egill felt like crying as well. It was so silent, almost eerily so; no sad music playing, no one but Lukas wailing; but Egill had never experienced such a sad mood before in his life. When he and Jia-Long were sitting in the carriage, and one of the Xiangese body guards (he assumed) slammed and locked the door around them shut, a tear fell down his cheek. He pulled the curtain away to get another look at his brother, but Jia-Long reached over him and pulled it back.

Egill could feel Jia-Long's staring at him, but tried to ignore it, closing his eyes as more silent tears fell.

The carriages started moving, fast and unafraid, with the curtains preventing Egill from knowing which way they were headed. Though curious of asking how they were travelling to Xiang, this curiosity was far from a priority in his mind, as more tears were shed.

After a while, when the tears were still running down the prince's now wet cheeks, Jia-Long reached over and caressed it. Egill stopped crying when he felt Jia-Long's hand, and tried to pull away; and to his surprise, the other boy let him, dropping his hand.

For a moment they were not touching anymore, hands centimeters apart on the carriage seat, but Jia-Long soon solved that by placing his hand on the prince's. Egill let it rest there, despite his wishes to pull away, because it was better than having his cheek stroked.

"You will like it in Xiang", Jia-Long said, shocking Egill with the abruptness with which he spoke, eyes still studying the prince's face. Egill decided to ignore him. "Our palace is much nicer than that one. The weather's is warmer", Jia-Long continued. "And the food tastes much better. I can't see how you can live on the dirt we ate here."

Egill remained silent, even though he felt his sorrow replaced by anger. The heir to the Xiangese throne was beyond infuriating, and probably the most tactless person he had ever met. Or, perhaps he just didn't care; he had no need to be respectful to Egill after all.

"And you don't have to wear clothes like that anymore", said Jia-Long, pulling on one of the cuffs. "You will look much cuter in a_ ruqun_, _pien fu_, or _shenyi_."

"Can you shut up?" asked Egill, turning his face to glare at Jia-Long's impassive face. The Xiangese boy surprised him again, by actually stopping his rant. He still stared with a creepy look on his face, his dark amber eyes almost boring into Egill's soul. Awkwardly he broke eye contact, and looked forward. It was hard ignoring Jia-Long, especially when he stared at him so intensely, but eventually, when he closed his eyes, he managed to escape reality for a moment. He suddenly realized that he was awfully tired, not having slept all night.

The carriage ride wasn't very bumpy, but rocky enough for him to get more and more tired. Slowly sleep crept up on him, and he fell into unconsciousness.

In his dreams Prince Egill, nay, former Prince Egill was on the sea, drifting on something he wasn't sure of what it was. All around him there was endless water, and in the horizon he saw a storm. But he couldn't steer the ship, boat, raft; whatever he was one, away from it. Instead he was trapped in the current, pulled towards the roaring thunder with no means of escape.

The lightening stroke him down, and he fell into the deep empty ocean. He couldn't swim, or breathe, but he didn't die either; he was just floating around in the dark nothingness, the water-like vacuum, aimlessly. His body hurt, though he felt numb; he felt nothing, yet he was in pain.

A hand from above reached down, and stroked his hair. It was a pale hand, but looked strong, and if it had been tightened to a fist he would have felt fear. But it was gentle, with the palm caressing his face, stroking his hair behind his ear and patting him. His head was resting on something hard, but not uncomfortable, and his body was stretched out across a seat.

It took Egill a moment to realize that he had woken up, and was no longer in an unknown sea, but in the same carriage that had taken him away from home, with his head resting in Jia-Long's lap, said boy caressing his hair.

Before he was able to react Jia-Long noticed that his violet eyes were snapped open, and thusly smiled; fondly, as if though he had a small child or a baby animal in his arms.

"Good morning", he greeted. "_Sleeping beauty_", he added in his native language of Xiangese, leaving Egill frustrated that he couldn't understand what was surely a taunt. However, he was still too tired to come up with a comeback. He hated to admit that it was nice lying there, but he couldn't help but feel very comfortable.

Pretending to be asleep, just so he could lie there for a while longer, was pointless seeing as Jia-Long had noticed his awakening. Thusly he tried to rise, to sit up right, but Jia-Long pushed him down and continued petting him.

Though his body was very slowly waking up it was with a weak effort that Egill raised his hand to take Jia-Long's away; and the action was in the end completely in vain, as the Xiangese heir very easily grabbed it and put it back on Egill's side, his free hand taking over the task of petting Egill's head.

"You make for a cute pet", he teased. "Though I would prefer you in a burgundy _diyi_." This time Egill felt more awake, so he sat up at once, scooting away from a disappointed looking Jia-Long.

"I'm not a pet", he said stubbornly.

"You are what I decide that you are", replied Jia-Long, with his same bored expression. "Simple as that."

"No."

"Then what are you?"

The question now proposed was an eye opener for Egill. He wasn't an urchin anymore, but no longer a prince either. But what was he, really, to Jia-Long? A servant? A slave? A toy, or doll, or pet?

_Whatever I decide_, he heard Jia-Long's words taunt him in his mind. He wanted to erase them, but they bore into his skull. Were they correct? Regardless of what he wanted, perhaps Jia-Long only spoke the truth. Thinking of that possibility made Egill feel sick, and so horrible that he didn't even register what the other boy was saying.

If he was annoyed by the lack of response Jia-Long did not show it, and he simply repeated his question, though this time he accompanied it with putting a hand on Egill's thigh. If nothing else, it certainly got the prince's attention, who tried to squirm away, only to realize that he couldn't move farther away from Jia-Long.

"W-what do you want?" Egill asked with flushed cheeks, as he felt trapped between the Xiangese boy and the carriage door. There was no escape as far as he could tell, and it frustrated him to no end; although not as much as it scared him. It reminded him of a play Mathias had once taken him and Lukas to, where the personification of Death had whispered into the ear of a dying lady "you've got nowhere to run now". The tone with which the actor had spoken had sent chills down his spine, and left him with nightmares.

With Jia-Long so close, and with no way around him, Egill felt the same fear. He had seen Jia-Long twist his brother's arm so horribly. He knew the boy was stronger than he looked.

"What I want", Jia-Long said thoughtfully, moving his hand from Egill' thigh to cup his cheek. "Is-"

He had no time to give a proper answer, as the carriages stopped, making him curse in his native language. Whatever mood he had felt was gone, and he shifted back to his seat – much to Egill's confusion – just in time for the carriage door near him to be opened.

A Xiangese guard said something the prince couldn't understand, and Jia-Long translated it to him as "get out, we will eat". It was actually refreshing, Egill thought, as he stood on the dirt road in the open air. It was around evening time, he realized when he saw the night sky, meaning he had slept far longer than intended.

They were far away from the palace and capital of Dankrieg, and he recognized none of the surrounding elements; not the large forest in the horizon, spooky looking because of the darkness, nor the massive oat and wheat fields on either side of the road their carriages were parked on. They were farer away from his home than he had ever been, but he knew he shouldn't get worked up over that fact; they would travel much, much longer.

Behind the third carriage the Xiangese party had lit a small fire, and as Egill and Jia-Long approached it he could see them barbequing sliced pig over it. It had been a gift from House Dankrieg, according to Jia-Long, whom seemed displeased with it, reminding Egill of his earlier rant about how much better things were in Xiang.

Emperor Yao was sitting on the Charioteer seat on one of the carriages, waiting for the food to get done, and speaking to one of the advisors in his native language. Jia-Long threw them a bored look before he leaned against the carriage, staring up at the night sky. It was almost weird for Egill, not to have the full attention of the Xiangese heir's gaze. Not that he wished for it, of course.

Egill didn't want to mimic him, so he just stood in front of the boy, waiting for better times and something to do. Everyone who talked spoke in the confusing Xiangese language, so he couldn't even entertain himself with eavesdropping. He supposed he could observe the beautiful nature, but he feared it would lead only to grief, as he wouldn't be able to not think that this was the last time viewing Dankrieg's forests, fields and lands.

He ended up curing his boredom with holding a conversation, after all, with the very bane of his misery, deciding to ask him "how long will it take us to get to Xiang?"

Jia-Long looked down from the sky at his words, and smirked.

"Eager, are we?" he asked, making Egill's scowl deepen.

"Forget it", he said, feeling stupid for even having tried. But Jia-Long didn't forget.

"Tomorrow, we'll reach the harbor", he said. "Where our ship waits. We'll spend two weeks at sea, and from the harbor in Xiang to the palace it's a three day trip with horse and carriage." He spoke with the same listless voice as usual, but sounded helpful, at least more so than usual, something Egill tried hard not to appreciate. He had asked a question, and got an answer, there was nothing more to it.

Soon thereafter the pork was done, and they drank – water for Egill, and Jia-Long tried the wine only to spit it out and insult the Dankriegian brewery –with it. The youngest boys ended up sitting next to each other on the step under the open carriage door, looking out over the wheat field ahead. A deer, Egill assumed, was running across it, but when it was gone – disappearing into the forest – the place stilled again.

The prince had expected them to spend the night there, but when they all had finished eating and feeding the horses with fresh oat the guards put the fire out and Jia-Long dragged him back inside, and they started moving again.

Egill wasn't tired, as he had slept over both lunch and through the afternoon, but the same couldn't be said for the Xiangese heir next to him. It was intriguing to him, to say the least, when he saw Jia-Long's eyes slowly close more and more. Neither spoke for an hour, and eventually the heir fell asleep, his body falling to the side – Egill's side.

Grabbing Jia-Long's shoulders – reluctantly, Egill wasn't very fond of touching people - the poor prince was faced with a difficult decision; what to do with the unconscious body.

Their carriage was the smallest one he had noticed when they had stopped to eat, and did not have much room for lying down. Having slept on Jia-Long's lap had probably been his most comfortable option. However, Egill did not have the heartless' boy's comfort in mind, so he simple pushed him to the other side, so that Jia-Long's pillow became the carriage wall. It suit him right.

It was the first time Egill had seen the ocean, when he arrived at the harbor the next day. He had grown up in the slums of the capital with Lukas, and even after made a prince had never left it – not counting the hunting done in the small neighboring forest, or the fishing in the lake – so he could not help but feel impressed with the size as he stepped out of the carriage. They arrived there in the afternoon, and where greeted by even more Xiangese guards and servants whom surrounded Yao, Jia-Long and Egill as they were escorted to the ship.

The ship in itself was like nothing he had ever seen before; not a long boat the ancestors of Dankrieg used in the old days, nor a modern battle ship he had seen illustrated in books from the royal library. It was a junk, Jia-Long told him as they boarded it.

Built out of softwood, with many large sails, made it really stand out; along with all of the stern faced guards who stood on deck, as if expecting an attack at any time. Egill knew that no one would be foolish enough to try, and knew – or hoped – that not one of them would hurt him. Yet they scared him, and he tried not to look at their heavy artillery.

Jia-Long seemed to be very protective of him, or rather his body, so he knew logically that he didn't have to worry. But he hated having to rely on someone like that for protection. His whole situation was hopeless, but what else was new?

He got a positive surprise when he was led to the cabin he would spend the next weeks in, seeing a single bed rather than the double bed he had feared for. Things got even better when he learned that Jia-Long's cabin was farer away in the corridor, so he wouldn't even have to see him that much. At least not when he slept.

Egill was told to stay quietly and wait in his cabin, and was in all honesty happy to do so since it meant finally some peace and quiet away from his… from Jia-Long. He lay down on the bed and stretched his body. It wasn't that nice of a bed, though it was preferable over Jia-Long's lap. Since it was just a little cabin on a junk that was probably not made for a prince it shouldn't surprise him, but after his months tied to the castle bed back home he had grown used to something softer. The thoughts of his home came back to him, as reality crashed down, and he felt his chest scream in agony when he pictured his brother and the last time he had seen him; crying. He had never seen Lukas cry, only heard him when his brother thought he was asleep. Now that he knew what Lukas looked like with cheeks glistening by tears his heart tore, and he felt guilty, useless and selfish.

His older brother was his only family. He didn't know if they were blood related or not, but they were family.

The pain distracted him from noticing that the ship was moving, having left the shore when the servants had finished stocking the storage room with goods from the harbour market and the sails had been hoisted. It was only when they were out on open water; maybe hours later; maybe mere minutes, and the waves made him stir that he realized that they had left Dankrieg.

There was a knock on the door so he sat up on the bed. His face was dry, even though he felt like he had been crying – perhaps it was simply an illusion – so he didn't need to groom himself before opening. Why he had even thought about grooming himself before opening he did not know, but it annoyed him.

It was a guard at the door when he opened, who didn't speak his language, he guessed as he did not talk, and who proceeded to give him a piece of clothing. "Dress", he said, though very awkwardly, before closing the door again.

Alone once more, Egill stared at the clothes received. It was a dark blue, almost purple piece that he couldn't really figure out by looking at it. The fabric was smooth and shiny, and after studying it he realized that it was a robe.

Egill was not the rebelling kind. Not really. And he guessed, the robe wasn't half bad, plus the colour matched his eyes. Making sure the door was locked beforehand he stripped and put it on. The sleeves were wide and when he looked at himself in the mirror he thought that the way it fell made it seem like it was made with a woman in mind, which annoyed him. It was a tad too big, but he guessed they couldn't possibly have made it for a skinny Dankriegian boy.

When he was fully dressed he peeked out, and saw the guard waiting for him there. Seeing him dressed the guard nodded, and said something in Xiangese that Egill hoped meant "follow me", for that was what he did, hurrying to keep up with the swift man over the wooden tiles.

They arrived at a door larger than the others, with an exotic pattern carved into the red painted wood. The guard knocked and fell to his knees, bowing, and before being able to mimic him the door opened before Egill, and he was let inside where Yao and Jia-Long were waiting by a table.

The table was low, and rather than a chair Jia-Long was seated on a square pillow, his back turned against the door. Staring right at them however was Emperor Yao, seated in a low throne like seat, across the table from Jia-Long. Carpets covered the floor, and the lights that lit the room hung from the ceiling in weird orbs made of paper and strings. It looked like something out of a fairy tale, much more so than his cabin.

At the sound of the door opening Jia-Long had turned and he smiled very softly – though it looked arrogant more than genuine – at Egill's state of clothing, making the prince break eye-contact and flush slightly. Why had he even looked at him in the first place?

"Enter, Egill", Yao said, making Egill realize he had never told either of his name. He had to suppose Mathias had given it to them.

As he had been ordered to, Egill stepped inside, and the guards closed the door leaving the three all alone.

"Sit", Yao ordered, "next to Jia-Long." Again Egill obeyed, though he sat as far away as he could on the pillow; which wasn't very far. "We're going to have dinner", Yao announced, which was good; Egill realized he was very hungry. "And we are going to discuss your future." The prince nodded, but bit his lip. "And decide", the emperor continued. "If you should be Jia-Long's concubine, or his bride to marry."


	3. The Bane of Misery

**Chapter Three – The Bane of Misery**

Jia-Long was calm, not shocked at all about the emperor's words, while Egill's eyes were wide. The prince did not know what he had expected, but he had not thought he would be a candidate for marriage. It worried him that Yao had even brought it up, but at the same time, he did not wish to be a concubine.

Regardless of what they decided though, he knew both options meant one thing; he would have to sleep with Jia-Long. Whether he found the thought more appalling than horrific he wasn't even quite sure of yet.

He wanted to throw a tantrum. Demand an explanation, tell the emperor off and say that he was not some whore, and yell at Jia-Long for having been so repulsive to him. But he knew that his wishes would be ignored, his actions disciplined and his feelings disregarded even more if he did. Perhaps feigning politeness would work out best for him, as much as he hated having to treat someone like Jia-Long, or Yao, with respect. When he had lived on the street Lukas had told him to never give in to nobles and their obscure view of their fellow human beings, words he had followed up with spitting the king in his face when he happened to ride by their home alley two years prior. After that, and Mathias had called for Lukas to be hanged – only to fall for him while visiting him in the dungeon – Lukas had seemed to forget his disdain for nobility.

But Egill had not. He wouldn't deny that he had enjoyed being a prince; learning how to read, hunt, fish, eat a good meal every day and sleep in a bed; but he hated having to treat others as if they were worth more than him, something Jia-Long clearly thought that he was.

Why his anger was directed mostly at the younger Xiangese man in the room, rather than the emperor himself who had started the ridiculous topic to begin with, he wasn't quite sure. It probably had something to do with Jia-Long's very slight smirk.

"First", Yao said and snapped his fingers. "_Dinner_", he called in Xiangese, and the door was reopened as two servants bowed their heads before entering, both carrying trays. They both looked down, not meeting anyone's eyes, as if they weren't really in the room at all, while serving the royalty.

Egill felt slightly eager, his mind leaving the infuriating topic in favor of hunger, when he saw the strange food they were served. It didn't look anything like the meals he had grown used to while living in the palace, and after Jia-Long's probably deceitful comments he really wanted to know what Xiangese food tasted like. He was fond of Dankriegian cuisine, but perhaps Xiangese wasn't so bad. He dared hope so, at least, for he knew that he would have to eat it for the rest of his-

For a long time.

The dish presented before him, after their drinks had been poured and the servants left, was exotic to his narrow perspective. His plate was empty, but there were many small platters on the table where he assumed he would have to serve himself from. Amongst the options were cylinder shaped snacks, wrapped in crispy looking dough, next to odd looking broccoli and what he thought was shrimps; by the shape, though they appeared to be just as crispy as the wraps. He stared, a bit dumbfounded, wanting to know what it was, and more importantly; how to eat it. They seemed to have forgotten to give him cutlery as well, for he found no spoon, knife or fork anywhere on the table. Looking up however he saw Yao holding two "sticks", that he moved to pick up different snacks from the platters, placing them on his own plate. Looking to his side he saw Jia-Long doing the same thing, before looking back at him.

"_Yao, we should have taught him how to eat properly before inviting him for dinner_", he said in Xiangese to the emperor, making Egill frown. What were they discussing?

"_He shall be tutored_", replied Yao. "_In time. He is yours, why don't you teach him_?"

After the emperor was finished he raised his eyebrow at Jia-Long, whom stared dully back, before turning towards his Egill and holding up the sticks.

"Use these", he said, and Egill looked for the pair placed next to his plate, taking them up. "And hold them like this", he explained, showing Egill how he was supposed to place them in his hand. It confused the prince, who had troubles with even grabbing at air with them.

"Why don't you have forks instead?" he asked in annoyance as Jia-Long grabbed his hand to show him the proper hold.

"Chopsticks are superior", was the answer he got, as he finally managed to hold them correctly. "There. Now pick what you want to eat", he instructed and held out his hand towards the table. Yao was looking at the scene, without eating, seemingly amused.

"_You're very patient with him. It's unlike you_", he commented in Xiangese, making Egill nervous but determined not to show it. Just what were they discussing? What if it was the marriage proposition?

"_He's cute, what can I say_", Jia-Long replied curtly, while Egill continued looking for things to pick. He ended up choosing one of the wraps, something which he thought was chicken and a few more snacks he was curious to try. Neither Yao nor Jia-Long seemed to think his choices were poor, so he felt a bit at ease.

When his plate was filled with the odd looking food Yao declared it was time to eat, and so he took one of the wraps and brought it to his mouth, putting it inside and letting the flavor overwhelm him. It wasn't bad, not bad at all, but certainly a lot spicier than he had expected. He enjoyed the taste, but quickly put the chopsticks down so he could cool his mouth with the beverage provided. It was transparent, so he mistook it for water, only to start coughing when he realized it was not. It was bitter, and tasted horrible, and he kept coughing until he felt Jia-Long hit his back and he could breathe normally.

"Are you okay?" the Xiangese heir asked, sounding awfully concerned. "First time drinking _shaojiu_, I suppose." He looked around and found a carafe of water, and after transferring the alcohol from Egill's glass to his own, he poured water for the prince to drink. Grateful, Egill downed the water and sighed in relief when he felt his mouth cool down, and his throat stopped burning.

"… thank you", Egill mumbled, annoyed that Jia-Long had helped him even though he knew he should appreciate it. In a way he did, but he still maintained his stance that he wouldn't have needed help in the first place, had Jia-Long never showed up.

Jia-Long smirked at the thank you, and put his hand on Egill's thigh, stroking it sensually. "You're welcome." Egill forced himself to bear with the uncomfortable hand, not wanting to cause even more of a scene, but when the hand came far too near his groin he grabbed Jia-Long's wrist and stopped him. He knew that the Xiangese heir was stronger, but he would not sit and take such harassment.

Egill did not know why Jia-Long all of a sudden was so much nicer, but he made no comment on it as the other boy removed his hand and went back to eating. Yao observed both, while remaining silent, his hand on his chin placed there thoughtfully.

After a while, when Egill was sure he would not get scolded, he tried eating as well. Though spicy, he found the food to taste well, much to his relief. He finished first out of the three, which made him flustered – had he been too quick? – but again he received no correction.

He waited patiently for the Xiangese royalty to finish, and when they did Yao called the servants back in, to get the dish and clear the table. They were left with the rice wine – shaojiu – and Egill's glass of water, which the prince took as a sign this "discussion" they were about to have would be long winded. It made him shift nervously, for he did not know what option was preferable.

With the servants gone and the door locked the emperor drank some of his liquor and leaned back slightly in his throne, eyeing Egill much more skeptically than he had done during the dinner.

"_Jia-Long, tell me wha-_" he started but Jia-Long held out his hand, stopping him.

"Don't you think we should have this discussion in a language my pet here speaks?" he taunted, looking down at his annoyed "pet". Yao sighed.

"So pet you say", he started. "Does that mean you want him for pleasuring you?"

"I thought that was a given", Jia-Long replied. Egill desperately wished that they had kept their discussion in Xiangese.

"Do not play dumb. I mean, do you want him as your concubine?" Yao asked, drinking more and appearing a bit frustrated; even though Egill predicted that he still wouldn't deny Jia-Long whatever he wanted.

"Not really", Jia-Long said, and turned to look at the boy they were discussing, stroking his hair. "I just want him for myself." Egill knew he was blushing, and tried desperately to picture himself somewhere else; he didn't care if the mature thing to do was accept reality; he felt sick being talked about in the manners Jia-Long and Yao used. Honestly sick to his stomach, like he would throw up at any moment, and he was getting dizzy as well…

"Egill? Are you all right?" he heard Jia-Long ask, and felt a hand placed on his back. He couldn't keep it inside, and without warning he vomited over the table, all of the delicious food now a disgusting mess dripping from the polished table to the carpet floor.

Holding his hands over his hurting belly he was unable to stop himself from throwing up again, emptying his stomach and embarrassing himself terribly. He could feel tears gathering in his eyes, and he swayed, still dizzy and now also woozy, his body going weak and unable to keep him sitting up. He fell to the side, but Jia-Long wrapped an arm around his shoulders.

"Aiyaah", Yao complained, muttering a few curses in Xiangese before calling in the servants, asking them to get water and towels to them quickly, while Jia-Long held the delicate body of his Egill in a steady grip. Once a servant returned with a wet towel he snatched it and wiped the prince's mouth clean, before picking him up in his arms and standing up.

"Jia-Lo-"

"_I'll care for him_", the Xiangese heir replied the current emperor.

"_I do not know why_", Yao muttered. "_But do as you see fit._" Jia-Long nodded and exited the room, Egill now passed out in his arms, head tilted back and eyes closed. He was even paler than normally, sickly so, which Jia-Long could only find enthralling. When he had first seen the boy he had not believed his eyes; never having seen one with hair so pale; in Xiang dark brown was as light as it got. In Dankrieg he had been fascinated with the light hair of the king and queen, and many of the citizens. They had a beauty he had yet to witness, and while Yao only described their looks as "interesting" he had been mesmerized.

On the second to last day before their visit was over still he had felt that he preferred the contrast between night black hair and milky white skin. But it was before he met the prince, whom at once had spellbound him. Not only was he snow white, but his hair looked like the freshest snow, and the purest of ice. He had captivated Jia-Long with his darker eyelashes, stunning eyes that were the color of violas, and the perfection of his paleness.

After realizing the depth of Egill's beauty he had felt the need to protect him, like one guards a valuable but fragile vase. He had seen the uncivilized manners of Dankrieg, and the callous nature of the castle, and realized that it was a place not fit for the dainty prince; he knew that he would be able to care for him better.

But during the night, after the Dankriegian King had agreed to entrust Egill to him, he had spoken to Yao and realized that he also wanted him on a different level. He was selfish, or so he had been told, and as the future emperor of Xiang knew that he was entitled to anything he wished for; be it an object or a person. What was the difference, anyway?

And so he had arrived at this point, where he was tucking Egill into his cabin bed and stroking his hair fondly; protecting him, and thinking about what he wanted to do. Should he marry the prince? There was a risk, because he was sure many of his people would be uneasy with a foreigner so close to the throne. On the other hand, did he not marry Egill, but kept him for a concubine, he would be talked about as if though he was a playboy. Yao had escaped such staining of his name by never having whores or lovers by the side, nor a marriage. But Jia-Long's only mean of escaping the shaming would be the marriage with someone else; and that he could not do. Egill was perfection, and that was the only thing good enough for him.

Having made his decision he smiled to himself, and pressed a kiss to the prince's forehead, before leaving the room. He promised the fainted boy that he would return, and then headed towards his emperor. Perhaps they would have an argument about it, but by the end of the day, he knew Yao would give him what he wanted, like always.

It was a nice feeling. Being engaged, that is.

Egill slowly opened his eyes when he woke up again, and turned in the bed, groaning in pain. His stomach whined, needing food, but he still felt like throwing up. The waves causing the junk to sway didn't help either, and he was cold sweating. Everything hurt; his muscles, his head, his abdomen, and he felt languid, frail and limp.

Curling himself up into a ball under the sheets he tried desperately to calm his body down, to relax and to end the pain. It was difficult, oh so difficult, and he found that the more he focused on keeping the pain away the more it seemed to take him over.

The sheets were pulled down then, and before he knew it a wet piece of clothing was placed on top of his hot forehead.

"Relax", came a familiar voice from the side of the bed. "You're sick."

"Lukas", he wheezed, voice fatigued as he pulled the sheets up over his head again. It had all been a sick dream, a nightmare without compare, but now he felt better. He had never gotten well, and was still in the castle of Dankrieg, in the bed, bound to it for the last four months.

Lukas' hand pulled the sheets down and stroked his cheek, and the gentleness of it made him easily forget the pain, and he leaned into it. He always hated people touching him, but his brother was the one exception. Hadn't he survived so long, just because of his brother? Egill had always been sickly, but even so Lukas never abandoned him, and all the money he earned from jobs he never fully explained to his younger brother was spent on medicine and treatments that only seemed to have placebo effect on him.

But it was all right, Egill thought. He would rather be sick, with Lukas, than apart from him and healthy. In a display of appreciation he nuzzled against the open palm that caressed him back. It felt different than what he was used to, even though he couldn't pinpoint what was unusual.

The body of the bed was rocking he noticed after a while; after having given in to the familiarity of the strokes on his cheeks, and relaxed more. His eyes were still shut tight, but he wondered if the rocking motion was a fragment of imagination, or a reality. His rationale told him that it was just a result of his ill state of well being; castles don't move; but it definitively wasn't normal dizziness, either.

Despite wanting to just sleep more he opened his eyes, seeing his brother's face look over him with worry but calm. Lukas' mouth was parted slightly, his eyes unreadable and his black hair-

It wasn't Lukas. Lukas did not have black hair, dark eyebrows or amber colored eyes. He did not dress in oriental red shirts, and he didn't wear his hair so unruly. But there was an element of familiarity, still, within the raven stranger who touched his cheek, and soon he realized whom it was, and where he was; why his brother was black haired; why the castle was rocking. He wasn't at home, sick in bed since four months. He was on the way to Xiang in a junk, and the person over him was Jia-Long, the heir of the Xiangese throne and the source of his suffering.

The hand slid around his head, and Jia-Long helped him to sit up, before offering him a glass of water. Egill numbly drank, and his stomach growled, so from the bedside table Jia-Long fetched a bit of white dough bread which he handed over.

"Your stomach isn't well adjusted to our food", he said. "That's my hypotheses, at least. It'll get used to it." Egill just nodded, and ate. For a moment he had thought he was at home. What a fool he was. Why hadn't he remembered; there was no escape. No running away now, no freedom to be enjoyed.

"Want to know what I decided when you were out?" asked Jia-Long next, and again Egill nodded, not completely sure of what the boy was talking about. The bread was soft, but good; not spicy at all. It felt heavenly to have something in his stomach again, but he was still deadened with disappointment.

"We will marry", Jia-Long stated calmly.

Egill's previously tired eyes went wide, and he stared into Jia-Long's listless ones. He couldn't even fake enthusiasm?

Narrowing his eyes and swallowing the last bite of the bread, Egill gave his response.

"I see", he said dryly.

"No protest?" asked Jia-Long; but if he was surprised his face didn't show it.

"To be honest… I'm rather married than some prostitute", Egill answered, voice benumb.

"You are too pretty to be a whore", Jia-Long said, caressing Egill's cheek again. The prince moved away from the hand and glared, a blush tainting his white skin. Slowly he was regaining consciousness.

The Xiangese heir sighed at the reluctance of his fiancé, but did not pursue him further. He was satisfied with the way Egill had leaned into his hand earlier, and the pained expression he had made in his sleep had been utterly adorable.

Egill lied back down in the bed, which he recognized as different from the one he had rested in before. It was Jia-Long's, much to his annoyance; he just hoped that the other boy wouldn't sleep in it too. Didn't they have cultural rules about not sleeping together before marriage in Xiang? He could ask, but he really did not like asking Jia-Long questions; he felt that he would be mocked by them, just like before when they had paused for dinner, on the carriage ride.

As he was lying down on the soft pillow again Jia-Long removed the clothing of his forehead, and pressed down a kiss instead. It made the prince flush furiously, but he did not complain since it was over very shortly, and the Xiangese heir left the room thereafter.

Marriage, Egill thought numbly. He wondered what it meant, how a Xiangese marriage ceremony was, the customs, what his responsibilities would be as the spouse of an emperor…

He hated to admit it, he couldn't help but feel just the tiniest bit of excitement. Jia-Long was a bastard, and he hated him, and that was final. Yet, out of every single bad scenario being an emperor's spouse meant that he would have some power, hopefully. And most certainly would he be treated well, and with respect. Just because he didn't like the idea of treating people as they were superior to him didn't mean he was that opposed to the idea of others treating him that way.

Perhaps, come with age, Jia-Long would be more tolerable as well. And he would probably be allowed to travel back sometimes to visit his beloved brother.

Brother. Lukas. Reminded of his earlier confusion, he reached up a hand and caressed his cheek. He closed his eyes to pretend that it was Lukas stroking him, and tried to remember how he would do it, and how his brother's hand felt like. With his mind blank he tried to picture Lukas looking down on him fondly, with compassion, as he felt his brother's hand…

All he could see in his imagination was Jia-Long's damned face, and perverse hand. He ceased his actions at once and hugged the sheets tighter, pulling them over his head and curling into the corner of the bed. Pressing himself up against the wall he tried to escape the mental picture of Jia-Long's almost gentle actions, and the parted mouth he had had when waking him up.

It hurt. It hurt him horribly, because no matter how hard he tried to deny it, Egill couldn't in the end lie to himself. It had felt nice.

For fourteen days Egill was stuck in Jia-Long's cabin, bound to his bed, while his fiancé slept on the longue chair. He would sleep most of the times, and wake to be fed and nursed by Jia-Long, only to puke up anything that was not bread or water in the bowl next to the bed. He stunk of sweat, just like he had done in the castle, and while Jia-Long's remark of his reek the third day made him red with shame he did not comment after that point.

On the fifteenth day, when they would reach Xiang by the evening, he was finally able to save the food which Jia-Long fed him. It was a soup with an eggroll – the cylinder shaped wraps – but when he kept it for two hours both he and Jia-Long felt relief. Over the course of the day he grew gradually better, and during the afternoon he rose from the bed on his own accord while Jia-Long was reading a book on the desk.

When he did so he was quickly led to the bathing room where he washed himself thoroughly, but had to spit out the salt water which he had to use constantly. It was a pain, especially when he got it in his eyes, but it felt better to be clean again. In the dressing room outside of the bath was a new piece of clothing he would wear, coloured emerald green with tiger lilies printed on the front bottom. It was a dress with golden suture, but after having seen what the emperor wore he supposed it was a bit normal even for Xiangese men to dress like that.

It was very tight, the arms stopping by his elbows, and when he viewed himself in the mirror he couldn't help but think that he looked very feminine in it – Xiangese or not, surely it was women-wear. Just after he had thought Jia-Long had been kind of nice, taking care of him so stubbornly for every day, he had to go and do this; doll him. He felt betrayed.

Outside of the dressing room said heir waited for him, and clapped his hands when Egill exited the room.

"Cute", he said. "It fits you nicely, even though it wasn't tailored after your measurements", he smirked and stepped closer, making Egill take a step back.

"Bastard. It's girl-clothes, isn't it?" Egill asked.

"Is that how you address your fiancé, after he has been taking care of you for two weeks?" Jia-Long taunted. It didn't change the feelings of anger Egill had, but he realized that his _fiancé_ was correct. He shouldn't be ungrateful; things could have been far worse.

Awkwardly, he avoided Jia-Long's eyes. "I apologize", he said. "And thank you… for taking care of me." Jia-Long smirked and patted his hair.

"Kept me occupied", he said. "Seeing you vomit I could do without, but I'll live." Egill flushed, even though he felt that he shouldn't care about Jia-Long's opinion of him. "And by the way… yes, that _qipao_ you're wearing is indeed made for women."

Egill cringed. "You know I am male-"

"Your gender doesn't matter", Jia-Long interrupted him. "You are beautiful. And so you deserve beautiful clothes." The prince quickly brought his hands up to cover his blush. He wanted to say that he was not beautiful; that's not what a man was supposed to be, but couldn't bring himself to say it. He wondered how Jia-Long could say such things without stuttering, or care in his voice; as if though he wasn't paying attention. If that was the case then why did the prince felt that he meant them?

Amused with the prince's blush Jia-Long kept watching him, until he pulled his hands down and linked their arms together.

"You can start see land", he commented. "Come with me to the deck." There was no room for discussion, as it had been an order and not a request, and so Egill was pulled along through the corridor and up to the top deck; outside at least.

They passed many busy sailors and guards on the ship on the way to the front where they stood next to each other, watching the land unfold before them.

The cliffs that stood out from the sea to their left and right were tall and the rock dark, the greenery unlike any Dankriegian plants, making Egill stare. Even the clear air told him that they were not home, far from it, but he did not shed tears; being far too caught up in the wonders he saw.

In the horizon he saw the outlines of a harbor city, surrounded by a jungle of green that he didn't see at home unless it was the very middle of summer. Even from the distance he could tell that the trees were very different, just like the landmass itself. Behind the forest were many tall mountains, some tops dipping into heaven itself, making him almost gasp when he realized that.

Jia-Long was amused when he watched Egill's reactions, but he knew he shouldn't be surprised. Indeed, when he had arrived at Dankrieg he had been equally shocked by the differences, only his surprise had not shown on his face.

As they were getting closer Egill could see the architecture of the city better, but was interrupted in his admiration when Jia-Long heard someone approach them and tapped his shoulder, making him spin around to see Yao; clad in a long red gown and wearing a dragon-inspired crown of gold, and being accompanied by two larger Xiangese soldiers.

"It's good to see that you're well enough to be up", he told Egill gently. The prince was shocked by the kind words, and bowed his head respectfully like he had seen the servant do on the day of the dinner.

"Thank you, your… highness." He was unsure of what to call an emperor, but seemed to be doing all right.

The sails were taken down as the junk softly was steered by the waves the last distance to the harbor, the anchors thrown into the water so it stopped on the captain's orders. A plank bridge was used to connect the ship to the dock and upon looking down at the city Egill was stunned to see a sea of Xiangese people, most of them cheering as they could see the emperor himself. Yao smiled and turned around, walking towards the bridge between the land and the ship, and was soon followed by Jia-Long and a nervous Egill.

The crowd seemed startled when they saw him walk next to the heir, their arms linked, but none booed. Egill wasn't sure of what he had expected, but he felt relieved when no rotten cabbage hit his face.

When his foot touched the harbor finally Jia-Long decided to steal the spotlight from the returning emperor, and he leaned close to his fiancé; kissing his cheek.

"Welcome to Xiang, my love", he said.


	4. False Indulgence

**Chapter Four – False Indulgence**

My love, that was what Jia-Long had called him, after kissing his cheek. It was a good thing that he did now have a mirror at that time, for the only thing that could have possibly deepened his blush at the public display of affection would have been _seeing_ his own blush. As if though the embarrassing kiss had not been enough, Jia-Long just had to say words like that as well. For the first time since had spoken, Egill started to think that maybe Jia-Long really didn't know his language so well after all, or else, why would he call the boy whom he usually called "pet" for his "love"?

Knowing him, it was probably just to tease the prince; to get him to blush even more. If only he had Jia-Long's disability to display emotions. Getting so worked up over what Jia-Long did was stupid, he knew that, but he couldn't help himself. After Jia-Long had been so nice and understanding in the cabin, to immediately put him in women's clothing and humiliate him publically, Egill's opinion of the heir had again gone down. He was starting to lose hope that they would ever be able to get along.

After the muttered words, and the cheek kiss, their audience had ended their cheers of greeting their emperor back, and started to stare at their next emperor instead. Yao had appeared annoyed with the shift in attention, but had then publically declared that Jia-Long would marry within two years to Prince Egill of Dankrieg. The news of this was to be spread all across the large nation of Xiang, but not by Yao, Jia-Long or Egill themselves, of course, but by messengers who were light on their feet. They left the harbour city by horse and carriage as soon as the crowd had scrammed; by a carriage Egill only recognized as one by the four wheels. It was very unlike the ones they had back home appearance wise; with engraved flowery patterns on the gold-painted wood, and bending walls and pillars.

The inside of the carriage was more similar, but it was also decorated in great detail, which made Egill understand somehow why Jia-Long had said he found the castle in Dankrieg boring. It didn't make the criticism hurt less, but it was more logical; Egill felt far more overwhelmed by Xiang already then he had ever been of Dankrieg; even after living in the castle. Guilt filled his heart when he thought that, for as a street urchin he really should have been grateful for even a rundown cottage, but if he had the choice he would prefer Xiang to Dankrieg. But just because he liked what he saw in Xiang didn't mean he liked Jia-Long any better; he was still annoyed hours later on the trip with what had happened in the harbour, and about the "qipao" he was wearing. Lukas and Mathias would be preferred a million times over Jia-Long and Yao still, and probably – hopefully - would always be.

Egill spent little time missing them, for it was only harmful and counterproductive. Days of suppressing tears and his aching heart on the junk had made him well aware of that, and Jia-Long had said so also; "Forget about your family". It was a difficult thing to do, perhaps even impossible, but necessary. He couldn't run away from his loneliness, and the homesickness didn't pass as easy as other illnesses he had suffered of. All he could do was ignore it, and hope that sometime when he wasn't looking it would see how unwanted it was, and leave him alone.

One way to distract himself from the feeling of hopelessness was to look out the window at the beautiful scenery. Everything about Xiang was beautiful; the rice fields, the creeks and pounds, the bamboo forests and the villages they passed. Everyone they met bowed as the royal carriage drove them past, so Egill could not see their faces, but save for the field workers whom wore straw hats he saw that everyone had black or dark brown hair, making him feel like some sort of alien. Perhaps that was why Jia-Long found him so attractive; his snow white hair.

For the evening the carriage stopped in a town at the very end of a tall mountain, outside of a manor which was placed slightly off, on the cliff before a forest. It was shaped like a rhombus and coloured red, with black pillars at each end with golden dragons drawn facing upwards. Even though it was on a cliff, there were green trees growing by the road towards its entrance, and everything was illuminated by the paper-orbs with living candles inside.

Jia-Long got out before Egill, but the prince did not grab the hand offered to him; not caring if that was rude or not. Their talking had been utterly minimal during the trip there, and the only conversations had been held in Xiangese between Jia-Long and Yao, so the heir could not say that he was surprised. Disappointment was a completely different matter.

Two guards walked first down the pebble way towards their manor, followed by Yao, then Jia-Long, Egill, and two more guards. There was a servant who opened the door to them, bowing deeply and speaking in Xiangese like everyone else. Egill knew that he would have to learn it as well, but he had no idea how he would be able to; the signs he had seen on the road and the way they spoke were just full of mysterious to him. Xiangese was not written from the left to the right, with normal letters, but with scribbling like symbols up to down. While appearing beautiful, like art, he failed to see how he would ever be able to decipher them, nor speak the odd yet melodic language.

The more he saw of Xiang the more lost he felt, and when they entered the house he was too caught up in staring at the calligraphy and nature art on the wall scrolls than noticing that the party had already taken off their sandals and were walking towards another room. One guard remained by his side, but he did not speak the prince's native language, and would only shake his head when Egill asked where the others had gone.

Where was Jia-Long when he was needed, Egill thought as he hastily opened doors from the hallway, looking for traces of the royal party.

"What are you doing?" asked Jia-Long, whom entered the room from another door. He had just noticed that his fiancé was gone, and had been worried even though they had been separated for no less than five minutes.

The wooden tiles creaked only slightly under Jia-Long's steps as he barefooted hurried across it to Egill, whose wrist he grabbed harshly; but not enough to bruise. "Don't wander away on your own", he scolded with a frustration Egill had not yet seen in his usually dull face. He had wanted to snap back, but the almost angry look in Jia-Long's eyes made Egill frightened.

"I'm sorry", he said, and Jia-Long's hand slid down from his wrist to grab the prince's hand instead.

"Apology accepted", said the heir, and he walked back to the dining room hand in hand with Egill, starving but at least now feeling satisfaction that Egill was back with him. He hated to think about leaving the prince alone; after seeing Egill so sick on the junk, he knew that he didn't only look frail, but was incredibly vulnerable. Jia-Long needed to protect and take care of him at all time. Yao had scolded him for being too doting, but he could not help himself.

The emperor was waiting in the dining room, but did not so much as raise an eyebrow then the younger men entered. They took their seats; Egill feeling worried, as this was the first time he sat down and ate dinner since on the junk, but he tried his best not to let it show. Jia-Long let go of his hand when they sat finally, and they were served glass noodles with egg, pork and fried broccoli along with _shaojiu_, although the prince opted for water instead.

It was delicious, but Egill had not expected anything else. He thought about telling someone; perhaps Yao; that he enjoyed it, but he did not wish for Jia-Long to think that he liked having been – for a lack of better word – kidnapped. Still he did not want to be rude, and he finally decided to say what he felt when he put down the chopsticks awkwardly. He opened his mouth, to say "Thank you, it was good", but before he came that far Yao spoke.

"We obviously need to start your disciplining at once", he said. "Since we were unable to on the junk I will teach you here, personally." He pointed at the chopsticks. "Do not place them on the table like that, pointing against your host. Lay them down horizontally on your bowl." Egill, who felt aggravated by the tone Yao used, still obeyed perfectly.

"_Don't talk like that_", Jia-Long told Yao in Xiangese, while he looked over his fiancé and stroke his hair affectionately. "_He's fragile. Be more careful_."

"_Aiyaah, you're such a handful"_, the emperor replied. "_He needs to be taught etiquette, and since you seem unwilling to do it..._"

"_It's cute_."

"_It's rude_."

Egill wanted them to switch languages in a way, since he was sure they talked about him, but for the very same reason he was glad he was unaware. Having to deal with the petting was enough trying of his patience, and he wasn't sure he would be able to hear them talk about him in a derogatory way as well. But, Egill had to admit, that was just a selfish conclusion he had reached. There was nothing about their conversation indicating that they spoke about him at all; he had just assumed they must be speaking about him; never mind the fact that Yao was the Emperor of Xiang, and Jia-Long his heir; they must have has more important manners to discuss. Thinking about this made Egill feel slightly better; he just had to stop being so self-absorbed.

Despite his best attempt at appearing calm, he tensed when Yao called his name; surprisingly with a less curt voice.

"Who would you like teaching you manners?" Yao asked him, though his eyes were directed at Jia-Long in an authoritative but challenging way. "Jia-Long or I?"

The proposition was ludicrous, surely. Why would the Emperor of the powerful Xiang Empire spend time teaching him how to eat with chopsticks, and how to place them after dinner was finished? Surely he had more important things to do. For that reason alone, given the choice Egill should pick Jia-Long, but he wanted to spend as little time with the appalling fiancé of his as possible; hopefully until Jia-Long found him boring and sent him back home. It was the most solid plan he had.

"I'm waiting", Yao said impatiently.

"I'm sorry", Egill replied. He wondered how far Jia-Long's protection of him stretched; perhaps he wouldn't be reprimanded for disrespecting the emperor as long as Jia-Long liked him, but he wished to not take unnecessary risks. "And, uhm, I reckon you have more important things to do, sir..."

"He does", Jia-Long said triumphantly. "I'll teach you, don't worry." His eyes were still on Egill as he said this, and his hand slid down from his head to cup his chin, turning Egill's face his way. He was actually smiling softly, which frightened the prince, perhaps needlessly so. But in Jia-Long's mind he was only filled with happiness; selfish and vain such; but happiness none the less. Egill had chosen him over Yao; that could only mean that he was not as repulsed by the heir's actions as he let on. Jia-Long liked that very much; Egill was gorgeous when pained, but even more stunning when he was compliant and meek.

For the night Egill got his own room in the manor, on the third floor. It was small and empty, though the rice paper walls were decorated with a painted bamboo forest and flowers. His bed was low but comfortable, and in the wooden coffin next to it he found a night garment; a light blue robe with a sash, printed with a humming bird on the lower half. Again the patterns and artwork on everything he saw was captivating; far beyond the pained glass windows of the castle in Dankrieg, or the larger than life portraits of royal families that hung on the walls there.

The bed was softer than the one he had spent most of his time lying in during the trip at sea, but he found himself unable to sleep even as midnight approached. Whenever left on his own his thoughts would wander to Lukas, and he would have to hold his chest tight to prevent his heart from breaking. Eventually it became too much, but determined not to cry, Egill got out to get some air instead. One of the doors in his room - opened by sliding, like all of the others in the house – led to a balcony like place, that stretched around the entire third floor. Egill sat down on the edge and looked forward, towards the dark forest his room faced, lit only by the starry sky.

Thinking was something he could not allow himself to do, instead he cleansed his mind and decided to just feel; to take in the beautiful scenery, and postpone the worrying to another day; a day he wished would never come. It would be better that way; to be ignorant of pain, and arrogant with the bliss he should indulge in. He would marry a man whom would be one of the most powerful men in the world; the future emperor of Xiang. Many would see that as a great blessing; as something fantastic, and absolutely wonderful. Egill forced himself to view his fate as a fortunate and enviable one; but his efforts were in vain, as he could not shake away the feelings of despair that lurked in him.

The air was not cold, but the longer the prince spent outside the more he was freezing. He came to want the sheets from inside, to wrap them around him so he could stay out there instead of having to go indoors. It was nice, after all, to have his feet hang free over the edge, to feel like nothing was stopping him from just leaning forward, falling down and give in to a wonderful lust of death.

"What are you doing?" a voice he knew too well spoke, sounding accusing, and he did not need to look up to identify the voice as belonging to Jia-Long. Said heir hurried towards Egill, scared he would fall down at any moment, and put a hand on his shoulder. "Be careful."

"I am", Egill protested. "I've been here for maybe an hour. I've not fallen."

"But you could", Jia-Long argued, and he sat down next to Egill on the edge; wrapping his arm around the prince's shoulder. "But not anymore", he assured him.

Egill did not want to die, not really. It was a silly and fleeting thought; that was it. Not a lasting want, or a priority. But when the arm was placed around him he again felt the urge to break free and jump down; even though the fall would not be high enough to take his life with it. However, Jia-Long would not let him do that.

"You're cold", Jia-Long noted, and he moved his hand up and down Egill's arm to attempt and warm his body. "Stop endangering yourself."

"I'm not", Egill protested again. "I am just taking some air", he muttered. "Why are you here?"

"Taking some air", Jia-Long responded. "And I wanted to see your cute sleeping face again." It was the most fun he had had on the junk, after all; it was only natural for him to be lusting after it.

Egill chose to not get flustered by being called cute again, though his cheeks did redden; something the Xiangese heir enjoyed immensely.

"Tell me", Jia-Long said thoughtfully. "Do you like Xiang?"

"I suppose", Egill mumbled. He did not want to stroke Jia-Long's oversized ego, but he had always been a terrible liar. "It's beautiful."

"And it will be mine", Jia-Long replied. He tore his eyes from the scenery Egill enjoyed, and kissed the boy's cheek softly. Instead of pulling back after the kiss he moved his mouth to be right by Egill's ear, and with a sadistically silent voice he whispered; "Just like you are."

Egill turned his head away, denying his want of hitting Jia-Long. Not only would a punch be ineffective – he still had not forgotten Lukas' attempt – but it would solve nothing. Was his fiancé not only speaking the truth? They were engaged, were they not?

"Then", he commented. "Are… you mine as well?" The words were embarrassing to say, and he did not even realize what he meant by them, but they escaped his mouth without his consent; shocking them both. Had Egill's face not been turned away he would have witnessed Jia-Long looking truly surprised for the first time.

Since the question was not one Jia-Long had anticipated, or even pondered, his answer was delayed slightly. When he finally gave it, he still sounded somewhat unsure. "I'm your fiancé at least", he said. He felt that it failed to answer Egill's question, but it was the only one he could give. He wasn't Egill's; Egill was his. There was a difference, but he wasn't sure he could explain it very well, even to himself.

The answer wasn't satisfactory, but Egill had not asked it expecting to like what Jia-Long replied. He knew, after all, that he was just a toy in Jia-Long's mind. A toy to marry, but an toy nonetheless; a pretty item, just like the artwork Egill was fond of. Observing was not enough for Jia-Long; that was the difference; Jia-Long needed to own it as well. Own him.

It was important to Egill that he remembered this; so that even when Jia-Long was nice to him, he would not take it to heart, and be disappointed when the heir then objectified him further. In the eyes of Jia-Long Egill would only ever be something beautiful to possess and something valuable to protect; and the kindness was just natural affection directed at a thing, and not a person. The nurturing of Egill's sick body on the junk had only been the polishing of a dirty object; the arm to keep him from being cold now around him was only a linen cloth wrapped around a frail glass to prevent it from breaking. It was faked love.

"I'm going to bed", he said dully, so Jia-Long let him stand up and go inside. He called good night, and thought he heard Egill respond, albeit with a very soft voice, before the prince slid the door shut and got into his bed. He was unaware of how long it took him to fall asleep, but his dreams that night were empty, and impossible to comprehend. A consuming darkness; an enveloping dread and an invisible sorrow; that was the reality of his nightmare.

The journey towards the castle continued on the next day, as their stay at the manor ended after breakfast. They again travelled by horse and carriage, although the mountain pass proved a difficult environment, making the carriage far bumpier than what was pleasurable. Egill opted not to speak for the entire trip, and only spoke when Yao addressed him. Jia-Long was also quiet, but he was holding Egill's hand the entire trip; a hand that did not squeeze back, even a little.

Perhaps Jia-Long should find Egill's apparent grief heart-wrenching and painful to witness, but he did not. A troubled Egill was a captivating thing to behold, and he wanted to see it as a painting so it would be immortalized. He asked Yao to do it in Xiangese, but the emperor said that he should hire an artist instead; he was far too busy to spend hours drawing.

The road up the mountain continued to heights Egill wasn't sure even existed in Dankrieg, but he was too numbed by his horrible nightmare to be taken aback this time. Not even when they passed cloud level did he feel amazement, nor when they travelled from mountain top to mountain top over suspension bridges. He was finally snapped out of his daze when they reached the castle, located on the final plan mountain top, surrounded by a great and heavily guarded wall.

The castle was so far from everything else that it intimidated Egill, but the intimidation did not rule out his bafflement, nor the impressiveness of the architecture.

Red and black the castle was coloured, and it was squared, seven stories tall. The taller the floor the smaller it was, and the black tile roof was bent like every other house in Xiang. There were no towers like in Dankrieg, but the sheer size of it, along with the large dragon gate, made Egill realize that it was a home only fit for royalty.

"This will be your home for the first year", Yao told Egill as the gate was opened for them, and they were escorted into the court yard, where a dozen of servants were bowing while carrying lanterns, as night was upon them.

"It's beautiful", Egill said.

"I'm glad you think so", Yao replied, and he was the first one out of the carriage as the door was open. He walked gracefully over the road, his long robe dragged after him like a peacock's feathers, and Jia-Long and Egill got out shortly after him, with the red dress Jia-Long had dressed him in that day falling behind him just like Yao's.

As they walked towards the castle he knew that most of the servants eyed him with suspicion, and curiosity; but none gossiped, as their heads were bowed down. Perhaps a message carrier had already informed them of who he was.

Even though Egill had so far been given his own bedroom, he had worried slightly that he would be sharing a chamber with Jia-Long at the castle. This worry was soon put to rest as he was escorted to his very own room on the fourth floor. It had a balcony, with a barred wall instead of a free one, which reminded him of a prison; but it was of breakable wood, and not steel. In his room he found a vanity and a large closet, alongside a short bed he found most comfortable. On the fourth floor was also a study , a guest room and a library, and he was told by Yao that the seventh floor was only his private chamber, while Jia-Long's domain was the sixth floor. The throne room was on the first level.

Since Egill was so prone to getting lost even in the Dankriegian castle he had a feeling he would just as often lose his way in the Xiangese one, but he had too much pride to ask for a map. He told Yao that he understood instead, which saved him much trouble for the moment, but would surely hinder him in the future.

This time Egill was served dinner on his own, sitting in a dining room other than the one Yao and Jia-Long ate in. They had matters to discuss Egill should not be involved in, and he was frankly relieved because of that. He did not feel the need to insert himself in Xiangese politics; the only thing about them that mattered was their alliance with Dankrieg, thanks to him. Had he been a lesser man he would have felt pride in that fact even; the small kingdom of Dankrieg had the most powerful ally one could wish for, all because of him. But it was nothing he could feel proud of; it wasn't like he had come up with an intelligent strategy, or a wise solution; he had only been born pretty, in the eyes of Jia-Long, and that was enough. Nothing that had happened in his life had been for his own efforts; he had become a prince because of his brother, and the fiancé of a future emperor because of his looks. Nothing could be attributed to him directly.

Depressing as it was, Egill realized that he was useless. He could not do anything to affect his fate; everything was decided by others. He was weak, he was sickly, and he wasn't the most intelligent, or skilled at anything. His looks were all he had; he was an empty shell. Perhaps Jia-Long's impression of him was correct after all. He was just something to be possessed.

Egill shed no tears that night when he curled up in his bed, and he did not think about Lukas at all. The void he felt would never be filled.

* * *

><p><em>I've decided to breathe life back into this story. I hope you will enjoy it!<em>


	5. The Echo of Healing

**Chapter Five – The Echo of Healing**

"_The __weather __is __nicely __today_", Egill said awkwardly, stumbling over the Xiangese words.

"Almost", said his tutor, Yao. "It's pronounced _cho_, not _chou_." Egill nodded.

"_The __weather __is__… __nice, __today_", he tried for a second time.

"_Very __good_", Yao complimented him. "Now it's time for writing."

Egill had lived in the castle for a week's time already, and had adjusted quite easily to his daily schedule. Every day would start after breakfast with learning Xiangese, taught to him by Yao himself. The emperor was a very busy man, Egill knew that, but whenever there was nothing for Yao to do he would grow very restless. His mornings were always free, so he took it upon himself to teach Egill his language for three hours.

Xiangese was every bit as hard as Egill had expected, and the grammatical rules were enough to drive a sane man crazy, but as the prince felt empty he tried to fill himself with everything he could; and knowledge was a good thing to use. Being alone with his thoughts scared Egill, as his mind had gotten darker and darker; turned into a terrifying place where no one wanted to enter, and so he tried to constantly occupy himself with other things; like studying. He had already learnt forty of the thousands of characters for writing, as memorizing was easier than speaking. The pronunciation of words puzzled him, especially as the wrong pronunciation of a word created an entirely new sentence, but as far as understanding and writing went, he thought he had done a fairly good job. Yao was very pleased with his progress as well.

As he had been commanded to, Egill brought the brush from the ink and started to form the Xiangese characters with it, sweeping the brush across the paper scroll before him. The lessons in Xiangese took place in the study at the fourth floor, outside of his bedroom, a room which had become his favourite one to be in. It was quite small, with three clean walls and just one covered in a large book case, filled with scrolls and books, brushes and ink bottles. In the middle of the room there was a short and small table, with two seats on either long side which Yao and Egill would use. Chairs like the ones they had in Dankrieg did not exist in Xiang, not even in the throne room, but as he had grown up on the streets Egill had no problem squatting and sitting down.

Logic suggested that Egill should prefer his bedroom, as that was truly his, and no one else's, but the prince found himself enjoying the study more. One of the reasons were that his bedroom had the vanity and the dresser that constantly reminded him of the fact that he was but a doll; something he could escape when he was in the study, and memorized Xiangese characters.

Egill's need to fill in the blank was heavenly for someone else as well; namely Yao, the emperor of Xiang. Having a diligent student was a dream come true for him; and he had come to, only a week of tutoring, look forward to his mornings with Egill the most. As an emperor he could not be the teacher he had wanted to be growing up, and his only student could be his heir; but Jia-Long was not very interested in listening to him, or learning. Choosing him as his successor had been a poor move, Yao had thought many times, but it was due to Jia-Long that he now had a willing pupil under his wing, and so Yao was grateful.

He looked over the writing Egill had done, and smiled proudly when he saw that the writing was perfect. "_Wonderful_", he told Egill, whom gave a slight smile back.

"_Thank __you, __your __highness_", Egill replied awkwardly, feeling happy with the compliment. He liked it when it felt like he actually did something; and did it good; wonderful even. Yao confused him, as he would sometimes be very strict, even neglecting or cruel, but during their lessons he would always be patient, affirmative and clear; an excellent teacher. The same could not be said for Jia-Long.

When the lesson was over Egill went to his room to change clothes, as it was time for a class with his fiancé. The second day after his life at the castle started a tailor and fifteen seamstresses had visited, to take his measurements, and sew new garments for him. Jia-Long had been overseeing the entire process of course, and spoken to the tailor of what kind of clothes he wanted them to make. Elegant, effeminate and stunning; those where the three key words he had used.

And so Egill's wardrobe was filled with clothes to chose from, all approved by Jia-Long. He never liked the process of getting dressed, as they were all so complicated he had a servant to help him every single day, but it was something he convinced himself he would get used to.

For the day he chose a navy _pien __fu,_ a knee-length tunic over a skirt, with big arms. This one had the print of waves, which made him feel even more feminine, but he suppressed his frustration excellently as the servants combed his unruly hair. In Xiangese customs they should also powder his cheeks even whiter, but Jia-Long loved his fair skin, and wanted it to remain natural. Instead of powder he just forbid him from going outside in the sun; frightened a tan would mar his beauty. At least he let the prince keep his hair short, and didn't ask the servants to paint his lips red; he appeared to want Egill and look feminine, but not like a woman. It confused him to no end, but since his name had been spread around as "prince Egill", he did not worry overly much about any confusion of his gender.

Once dressed Egill left his room and walked up to the sixth floor; which was uncomplicated enough to remember; Jia-Long's domain. Jia-Long had finished teaching him table manners after the four first days, and so his lessons would all be different, and some would not be lessons at all even. He never knew what to expect, and as always his steps up the stair were filled with nervousness.

Jia-Long slid the door open before Egill had the time to announce his arrival, and smirked when he saw what his fiancé was wearing.

"_You __look __beautiful, __my __little __Egill_", he teased in Xiangese. He did not know how far Yao's lessons had gotten, but he knew Egill must have understood at least the last part of his taunt, at least if the annoyed blush was anything to go by.

"_Thank __you, __I __am __little __not_", Egill replied slowly, making Jia-Long's dry smirk bigger.

"Adorable", he said while closing the distance between them, grabbing Egill's chin and kissing his cheek. In Xiangese customs, they had to be completely virginal before marriage; and that included even kissing. When Jia-Long had gone over this in one of their lessons Egill had felt a sense of relief; that meant he had close to two years to prepare himself for sleeping with his fiancé.

The kisses on his cheek had become a regular occurrence, and although they felt just as awkward every time Egill managed to cope, since he knew things could be much worse. Living on the streets for most of his life had taught him to find coping methods always; was the bread he got for dinner rotten, at least it wasn't mouldy; did a mouse bite him when he was asleep, at least he did not get the plague. That applied to living in a castle too, now; did Jia-Long kiss his cheek; at least it was not his mouth. These copings methods were his saving.

For the day Jia-Long invited him inside his chambers, where he had only been once before. The heir had a more luxury suite than him of course, but he seemed to disregard the beautiful objects and pieces of art that Egill liked so much, not even bragging about them as one could have expected from a future emperor as they walked towards his living quarters.

"We've covered most manners", Jia-Long said dully as he walked before Egill, and he sat down in the low sofa, leaning against one side and the pillows there. To prove him right the prince put his hands together under his chin and bowed his head, before sitting down on what could be a Xiangese arm chair across the sofa.

To be perfectly honest, Jia-Long didn't care much for customs, despite Yao's best attempts at getting him to place value in them. He might care if someone outright disrespected him, but he thought it was quite cute when Egill did something wrong. To now see his fiancé be able to use chopsticks perfectly took away some of the fun in eating with him, but luckily Egill's looks continued to mesmerize him, and so not all was lost.

Coming up with something else to teach Egill besides Xiangese was a boring task in his opinion, but Yao had told him that if he did not utilize the time for lessons he would hire other teachers who could tutor Egill in Xiangese history, dancing and culture; something Jia-Long did not want. He didn't even like that _his_ fiancé had to spend three hours alone every day with Yao, and the thought of someone else being all alone with his fiancé made him angry. Egill was his, after all.

There was one thing, come to think about it, that Jia-Long could teach Egill; his area of expertise. Self-defence would be valuable for Egill to know, especially when he was so frail, but Jia-Long wanted to think that he would always be there to protect him, even though he probably wouldn't be. He supposed, Egill did need to know what to do if he was ever under attack; or if one of his servants turned on him; or if someone other than Jia-Long touched him.

"So today, maybe… self-defence", Jia-Long gave in. "Martial arts."

Egill was nervous. "Okay…"

"Don't just say okay", Jia-Long said. "I am the greatest martial artist in Xiang. It's an honour for you to be taught by me." He might not care very much about etiquette, but he did like to feel respected; not that he was fully serious with his scolding. Bragging was fun, as was seeing Egill look surprised.

"Really?" he asked. He did not know if he doubted Jia-Long's claim completely. "I mean… _It__'__s __honourable_", he tried in Xiangese to please Jia-Long.

"That's right", he said. "That's why Yao chose me as his heir after all." Egill decided to ask Yao that the next day, rather than blindly believing was Jia-Long told him.

Clad in a _pein__fu_it was quite clear that Egill was not fit for sparring, and so Jia-Long called for a servant to prepare him for the _kwoon_ on the second floor; the training area. The servant escorted Egill down to a changing room and another soon arrived holding the clothes he would wear. It was a female servant who helped him out of his clothes, and he felt modest as always when he ended up before them in just his undergarments. Luckily for the sake of his pride the clothes he would wear did not need assistance putting on, and so they bowed their heads and left him alone.

For the _kwoon_ he was to wear black baggy trousers, white socks and black thin shoes only; something that did not sit well with him. Seeing his upper body in a full length mirror made him feel shame for his lack of muscles; the proof of his weakness, and uselessness. He hated how he looked; so boyish, so pale, so sick, and so utterly undesirable. Perhaps that was a good thing, though; when Jia-Long saw him half-naked he would realize that he did not want him after all, and would send him back to Dankrieg, Luka-

No, he told himself. Don't think that name. Thinking about his brother was the worst thing he could do, for he did not need to bury himself in even more sorrow. So he simply left the changing room with dead eyes staring forward as he made his way into the training hall, where Jia-Long was waiting on the dais in the middle of the room; the fighting platform.

Even though they were of the same age, probably, Jia-Long's body was very different; Egill could see that clearly when he approached him. With an equally bare upper body Jia-Long presented well toned and definite muscles, which appeared just as strong as someone who had muscles double the size. Although his build wasn't as impressive as King Mathias' of Dankrieg there was no doubt in Egill's mind when he saw him that Jia-Long could knock the king out.

"Before you get onto the platform", Jia-Long called, standing on the edge of it and looking down on Egill. "Bow your head." The constant bowing had become very predictable after a week at the castle, and so Egill did it without confusion of complaint, before he was allowed access to climb the platform's stairs.

The boys stood in front of each other when Egill was also up, and while Egill was too flustered and red to look at Jia-Long, the same couldn't be said for the heir, whom observed the body of his fiancé's very closely. He almost detested that Egill was wearing black; it distracted from the illuminating skin he had; that perfected white complexion that would be envied all across Xiang come the time for their marriage. The stunning paleness that should never be marred, never harmed, and never scarred; Jia-Long would be dead before he let that happen.

"Can you… stop staring?" Egill mumbled, his light cheeks growing red with embarrassment.

"No", Jia-Long truthfully replied. If he did not loathe the thought of someone else eyeing Egill like he did he would hire a painter to capture Egill's beauty on a canvas; although he suspected that might be an impossible task even for the world's greatest talents.

Since Jia-Long would not stop staring Egill knew that he had to do something; or it would drive him insane, and so he awkwardly reached out his hand and touched Jia-Long's arm. "Should we start?" he asked, hoping what he did had some sort of effect. It wasn't often that he would touch him, after all.

Jia-Long startled at the touch, which caused Egill to quickly withdraw his hand, but then agreed, saying that they were due to begin. Never before had he taught someone else the arts of _wushu_ that he practiced, and he couldn't even recall his first lesson – having trained since he could walk – so he was feeling unsure of how to start. It was a good thing Egill had no idea what was correct either, meaning he could just make it up as he went along; something Yao would surely have scolded him for.

Naturally Jia-Long should have taught Egill the standard stance for _wushu_, but he chose not to; for he wasn't training Egill to become a fighter, just able to defend himself against alien forces. The first thing he decided to teach him was how to break free if someone grabbed him from behind, and demonstrated what he meant by standing behind the prince with one hand over his mouth, and the others securing his hands behind his back. He rather liked it, since he could pull Egill's naked back against his own naked torso, which he could only find exciting. He knew he shouldn't think about things like that before marriage, but it was Egill he would be marrying in any case, and so what did it matter? The skin was so soft, and so hot under his touch, that he lost himself. He took the opportunity to rub their bodies even closer.

Meanwhile, Egill was freaking out, as Jia-Long had yet to explain how he was supposed to break free. Having Jia-Long so close was utterly uncomfortable, and he had a suspicion that his "teacher" had forgotten his duty, lost in a pleasure Egill could not enjoy. Even though he had received no word, he could not stand the intimacy any longer, and started to struggle; attempting to pull his hands free.

Jia-Long's body acted on reflex when his captive started moving, as it had been taught to do so since birth; and without thinking he tripped Egill and pushed him down, taking his hand off Egill's mouth and pressing his upper arm to the prince's neck instead, pinning him painfully against the floor as he sat atop him. Only at Egill's groan of pain did he realize what he had done, and was soon to get off him.

"I'm so sorry", he said, kneeling down next to Egill with true worry in his eyes. "Are you all right?" It was the first time Egill sensed serenity in his words, which made him speechless. Jia-Long helped him to his feet, carefully. "You're not hurt, are you?" But there it was again; the caring of a possession, and not a human. He just wanted to make sure his vase was not cracked.

Meekly Egill stroke his arm that had hit the ground first, noticing a small bruise that made Jia-Long's eyes widen. "No", he said with an upset tone, and he grabbed Egill's arm – although gently – and pulled him closer to inspect the bruise. It was just a black mark, and would probably pass within three days, but he grew mad with himself for having caused it. "I'm so sorry", he said again.

"I'm alive", Egill said, feeling awkward with the fawning. "I'm not that weak…" Even though his body hurt, so much, still.

"I should not have done that", Jia-Long continued, still not letting go of his fiancé's arm as he inspected the bruise even more; hating himself. "I did not mean to…"

Even though Egill knew that Jia-Long's fawning probably was only due to his possessiveness, the prince could not help but feel slightly guilty with how much care Jia-Long placed in his well being. He found it almost flattering; despite his attempts to tell himself that he should know better. But he could not stand the fretting, and so he spoke.

"It's okay", he assured Jia-Long, trying to sound determined. He still hurt, and the hold of his arm was not exactly soft anymore. "Really… Don't… blame yourself."

It was surprising, to say the least, for Jia-Long to hear Egill attempt to make him feel better. He thought for sure that Egill hated him; something he didn't have any problem with; anger was also attractive when in Egill. So to hear him cheer him up was much unexpected, but not entirely bad; would not having Egill care for him be even better?

Jia-Long let go of Egill's arm, and he took a step back respectfully. "Very well", he said. "If you say so. But the lesson stops now."

"Already?"

"We will continue when your arm heals", Jia-Long said firmly.

"But it's just a bruise", Egill argued. "I've had worse."

"It doesn't surprise me that the Dankriegian castle was filled with brutes", Jia-Long said. "But I will not let you get hurt again. Wash, then you're dismissed for today. I need to… meditate", as Yao had taught him to do when he lost face.

His words reminded Egill of the fact that his past at the street was still a mystery, and so he wondered what would happen if he revealed it. Honour was of great importance in Xiangese culture; and where was the honour in the life on streets? Having his title as a prince might have been one of his requirements for being fit to marry Jia-Long; or he might only have been a candidate for the position as a concubine. If those were his choices, he decided to keep his origins a secret.

After Jia-Long had left Egill went back to the dressing room, and was soon visited by a servant his fiancé had sent, whom took him to the washing room and left him to clean his body; though he was hardly dirty. Scrubbing his bruises hurt, but there was no one to hear or care for his pained moans as he washed. The _pien__fu_ from before was readied for him when he was done, and another servant managed to convey that it was lunch time.

For lunch fried rice and chicken was served, something that Egill had decided was one of his new favourite dishes. Not since the time at the junk had his stomach resisted the Xiangese food, and so he was not afraid to try anything; not even the spicier dishes Jia-Long had warned him about during one dinner they had shared. He preferred the rice though; something he had never tried in Dankrieg, as they did not have it there.

Since he had been dismissed for the rest of the day he went to his beloved study after the lunch was done, and continued to practice the characters, and pronouncing Xiangese words out loud – or perhaps, out silently. He felt silly talking to himself, but forced himself to as pronunciation was the hardest part. He wanted to be able to talk to servants; that was one of his goals, as it would prove to be much useful surely. Another goal was of course to impress the emperor, since Yao always seemed to happy when he did something right; and the realization that he could do something was much needed for his mental state. Every compliment he got managed to suppress one sudden surge of homesickness and that was the best thing he could wish for. The Xiangese words rolled off his tongue as he continued practicing them, articulating them just like Yao had taught him, and he dared to hope he would once know them by heart, and speak perfectly. It was as good a goal as any.

Someone who disagreed with Egill's reasoning, albeit in silence, was Jia-Long, whom was currently in the meditation room on his floor. His legs were crossed and he was seated on a round cushion, with the Xiangese yin and yang symbol on it, in the middle of a dark room that was well isolated of sound, smell and light. The room was designed purely for the purpose of clearing one's head, and when inside absolutely no one was allowed to disturb him; Yao included. He was not a great philosopher, but Jia-Long thought of himself as smart, and therefore enjoyed meditation quite a bit. Thinking up strategies to make life more enjoyable was a quite the fun task, in his mind. To him, it didn't matter if Egill spoke Xiangese or not; in fact, he even liked being able to speak to Yao and servants without the prince knowing what he said. Unfortunately, the fact that he was learning was not something Jia-Long could prohibit or stop.

This day his visit to the meditation room was not because of that, however, but because of what had happened in the _kwoon_. He had hurt Egill, first and foremost, but there was no point in thinking about that anymore; Egill would heal in a few days, and had already forgiven him. The forgiveness was the intriguing part; the fact that Egill had been kind to him, even though he had only been self-centred. He could tell that Egill was not stupid, but he was probably a bit naive, as any prince bound to a narrow worldview from the perspective of a castle was bound to be. Even if Egill realized that Jia-Long's only interest lay in his body he probably wished that there was more to it than that, and that wish had manifested in the forgiveness he had shown.

Normally Jia-Long would not care, for the opinions of others were utterly useless for him. He would become emperor, and have ultimate power; never having to take anyone else's thoughts in consideration, ever, unless he chose to. So why should he worry about how someone else viewed him, whether it was a citizen or his come-to-be spouse? But the incident in the _kwoon_ had made him rethink this position; it had been nice to have Egill be gentle towards him. It allowed him to picture a future where Egill was not only obedient and submissive, but happily so, and always looking forward to being with him. Such a wondrous world he imagined with his beautiful and loving Egill; he needed to experience it as well.

How could he do it, he asked himself. How could he make Egill care for him? The answer came to him quickly; pity. Egill had forgiven him because he felt bad for making Jia-Long regretful; that must be the key. Make Egill feel bad for him, excuse his behaviour, and eventually fall for him. It was a perfect plan, truly, to get him what he wanted. He decided to put it in motion at once, and so he left the meditation room, and headed to Yao. He needed to take some precautions.

x

Egill did not leave the study for hours, as he continued to vehemently write all of the characters he had learnt over and over until he could do it in his sleep, while repeating them under his breath. He surely seemed like a crazy person, and to be frank he felt tired and weird as well, but he did not know what else to do. That is until he heard someone move outside of the room, and speak in Xiangese.

"_You __are __requested __for __dinner, __sir_", the servant whom had arrived said, articulating every word carefully as she had been instructed in the hopes that Egill would understand. Luckily he did, and so he pushed the door open and stood up.

"_By __who_?" he asked, fearing it would be Jia-Long, due to the terminology of his "requested" dinner invite.

"_Master __Jia-Long_", the servant replied with her head bowed down. Dinner alone with Jia-Long was never pleasant, but he had spent less time with his fiancé that day than normal, and so he supposed there was no harm in dining for an hour or longer.

Before dinner of course he had his hands washed, and then redressed in a scarlet _shenyi_ as Jia-Long had obviously ordered. He supposed he looked nice in it but he paid little mind to the mirror's reflection, instead asking the servant to take him to where dinner would be had, albeit with broken Xiangese. The servant still understood him though, and escorted him down to the first floor, where he was asked to put on the sandals presented there.

So far Egill had not spent any time in the garden he could view from his barred balcony, despite his wishes to do so. It had seemed gorgeous from afar, and as he entered it his thoughts were confirmed. The trees and flowers, with the winding way of pebble stone diving the left from right, seemed impossible on the rocky surface of the castle's location; yet it was a reality, artificial or not. As the sun was setting the light seemed to die soon, but could still lit the garden. It could hardly tan him, but he was asked to bring a paper umbrella still, which he unfolded before he made his way towards the end of the garden, near an artificial pond, where he saw a rhombus shaped temple, with lanterns lighting the way to it and the temple's inside. As he got closer he could see Jia-Long wait for him there, and even though it was the damned heir he did feel some kind of excitement, as this dinner truly would be different than other dinners they'd shared.

Upon reaching the temple Jia-Long bowed his head lightly, which Egill returned, before they took their seats opposite each other over the table. It was a smorgasbord of delicates presented before them, pick food he loved, and Egill could not wait to start. But beforehand he needed Jia-Long's permission, and so he looked up in the search for it.

"This dinner is an apology", Jia-Long said in Egill's native tongue. "For having treated you so poorly. You are my fiancé, and not my pet." The words surprised and confused the prince, but he could not help but feel there was something off. Why had Jia-Long come to this realization only now? Because of what had happened in the _kwoon_? Had he only then realized that Egill was a human? It seemed fishy to him, and he could not believe that Jia-Long was being serious.

"Please", Jia-Long said, with the gentle tone had had used when making sure that Egill was all right. It reminded him of when the heir had nurtured him back to health on the junk. "Will you give me another chance?"

Suspicious as the suggestion was, Egill did not see any point in being needlessly hostile; and even if Jia-Long was not sincere that wouldn't change how things were between them now, so there was no reason to decline him.

"Yes", he replied thusly. He truly wanted to believe that the smile Jia-Long gave after that was sincere.

* * *

><p><em>I am very glad with the support I've gotten when I decided to continue this. Thank you all very much. Also, please note that Jia-Long is not a prince, simply the heir to a throne. "The prince" only refers to Egill. Some people have problems with epithaps, and to be honest I am not the biggest fan, but I am taking the artistic freedom to use them in this story, as I feel that they are imporant here. <em>


	6. No Man Land

**Chapter Six – No-Man Land**

Two glasses met in a cheers gesture, and the engaged couple drank in the light of the sundown, sitting in the red wood temple by the pond of the castle garden. The scene would have been romantic, if they had been bound by love, but as amorous feelings for each other was something they lacked the dinner remained just that; a dinner.

Egill was hungry, but hurrying with eating was very rude, and since he was nervous under the steady gaze of his fiancé's he did his best to not tremble and drop something. If Jia-Long was serious, saying he would treat Egill as a human being, then he also needed to do his best to make things work; fighting a cooperative Jia-Long could only be detrimental. From his point of view, things could only get worse, but if they both tried to improve their relationship then they would be able to get somewhere. All hopes of returning to Dankrieg were gone, and so wishing that he would be sent home if he was too much a pest was pointless to do.

They ate in silence, with sounds of crickets in the garden filling the void. After Egill said that he gave Jia-Long a second chance he waited for him to speak first, but eventually he grew tired of just waiting. He never enjoyed conversing with Jia-Long, but he started to wonder if he was serious or not, as the way he gazed at the prince had yet to change. The dark amber eyes bore into him with that creepy possessive lust as always, making him uncomfortable still.

"Are you really serious?" Egill asked. "Are you really going to treat me differently?" He placed the chopsticks horizontally over his plate, as he was done, and looked at his fiancé sceptically. Normally he did not dare look at Jia-Long like that for too long, but this was his chance to see if he was lying or not.

Jia-Long put down his chopsticks also, and looked deeply into Egill's eyes, which made the prince blush nervously. Being the centre of Jia-Long's attention was normal for him, but actually meeting his eyes was more uncommon; and scary.

"I am serious", Jia-Long said. "But can't I think my fiancé is beautiful?" There was some truth in that statement, Egill supposed; even if Jia-Long did not want to view him as a "pet" per say, finding him attractive was a different matter. Somehow he figured that he could cope with being viewed as beautiful, for he had given up on convincing Jia-Long that boys were not supposed to be pretty. Yao was beautiful as well, that was undeniable, and so he considered it to merely be a cultural difference.

"I suppose", Egill replied, but even though the compliment made his cheeks red he did not avert his eyes just yet. He waited for some sort of confirmation of Jia-Long's claim, and was lucky to get just that when his fiancé pulled up a wooden box from under the table, and held it out.

"A gift", he said casually. The box was of dark wood, rectangular, with carved flowers crafted with extreme precision decorating it. Bitterly, Egill supposed to find jewellery upon opening it, as it seemed to hold contain a necklace of sorts.

There was no real grudge Egill held towards jewellery of course; in fact, he often times had found it to be very beautiful, worn by noble men and women alike. But Jia-Long thinking he could make things right by presenting him with even more shallow gifts was highly disappointing, and no longer a matter of the level of importance placed in Egill's appearance. Maybe Jia-Long did not see him as a pet, but then definitely he was just a doll.

Egill opened the box expecting to see an over the top necklace, but his eyes widened in shock when instead he found an empty scroll of paper, a glass bottle filled with ink, sealing wax, and a quill they used in Dankrieg for writing, rather than the brushes used in Xiang. His eyes travelled quickly from the gift to Jia-Long.

"What's this for?" he asked, since he had a study he was free to use right outside of his room.

"No thank you?" Jia-Long teased. "It's for writing, obviously. A letter. To your brother, if you wish."

Time appeared to stop for Egill when those words were spoken, and something in his heart that he had shut off to save himself from pain was opened again, as he pictured Lukas and the Dankriegian castle. Jia-Long had told him to forget his family, and so he had done his best, but now the very same Jia-Long had reminded him. Even he wasn't that cruel, to do it for a joke. He was being serious.

Egill thanked him. He had to; this was a privilege, not a right; and it was a sign, more than mere words, that Jia-Long was serious. He was possessive, Egill had understood that, but he had decided to overlook his own desires for Egill's happiness. For Jia-Long at least, that was a huge step in the right direction. If the prince had not been so taken aback by the kindness, and the thought of being in contact with his brother, he would have questioned Jia-Long's motive for sure, but in the spur of the moment he could only see generosity; charity; and felt an extreme gratitude towards the heir. So he thanked him again, and again, while hugging the box childishly. Never in his life had he gotten a gift so great, and he lacked knowledge of what else to do with his emotions. He wasn't even able to recognize the attractive smile on Jia-Long's face as he thanked him for the smirk that it rightfully was.

The sun was fully gone when the warmth started to follow its lead, and so Jia-Long decided that they should go back inside; a wise idea, Egill had to admit. He left the umbrella for the servants to clean up along with the used plates and leftovers in the temple, and felt no real objection to holding Jia-Long's hand when it was offered to him. The box was pressed against his chest tightly, filling him with happiness still, but despite the joy that the aspect of writing Lukas a letter gave him, he realized that most of the warmth he felt came from the hand he was holding; the boy whom he used to think had a heart cold as ice.

Whilst Egill was blinded by joy Jia-Long thought of how pretty he looked, smiling childishly, and how much he would look forward to bringing him to his knees. How glorious it would be when his little marionette thought he was a real boy, and no longer just a doll; when he could no longer see the strings between him and the puppeteer, but saw them as equals. Naive little prince, he thought cruelly. He squeezed the hand in his just a bit tighter, and smiled down at Egill when the prince looked up. The smile was awkwardly returned, making his plan so much sweeter.

When they were back indoors Egill had no obligation to accompany Jia-Long anymore, and so he excused himself to write the letter. He found the stairs almost immediately and half-ran towards the study, having planned exactly how to open up his message. How happy Lukas would be to hear from him; perhaps Egill could finally let go of picture of his brother crying openly that had haunted his thoughts to this day still, almost four weeks later.

The first part of his plan had worked perfectly, and so Jia-Long thought it to be quite natural that he would feel so smug. He wished he had someone who shared his love of bullying who he could gloat with, but alas, he also enjoyed being smarter than all the rest, and "friends" were ultimately useless. The closest he came for a friend was Yao, but unfortunately the emperor lacked his sadism. When he had been appointed Yao's heir from the beginning he had thought that Yao indeed was evil, even though he would spoil him publically, but he had eventually reached the conclusion that Yao was simply overworking, and prone to make everyone else overwork themselves, rather than outright bad. Nowadays, when he was older and less vulnerable, Jia-Long thought that it was a bit boring that Yao was not as cruel as he remembered him to be, and he had to admit it was a bit annoying that Yao seemed much gentler with Egill than he had ever been with him. However, he knew that the kindness from Yao to Egill annoyed him as it was kindness directed to Egill, rather than Yao being kind. What the emperor did was in the end irrelevant, but anything including Egill was not, so that Jia-Long would pay it any mind was not wrong, surely.

Jia-Long loitered about outside of the study as Egill was writing, leaning against the wall separating the hallway from Egill's room. Rooms such as the study had walls of rice paper, but the bedrooms had walls of proper wood; decorated for the most part by wall scrolls. It was amusing, Yao had said, the night before they left Dankrieg, that Jia-Long was so captivated by Egill. Yao had accused him of being a hypocrite, as the heir never appreciated true art, when he described the prince as the epitome of beauty. Whether it was a hypocritical stance or not Jia-Long could not care for; Egill was special to him, and that was all there was to it. No person could pinpoint what love was, and just like love his infatuation with Egill was inexplicable; and shrouded in mystery.

The door to the study slid open as Egill got out, the letter rolled into a scroll and sealed with wax in his hand. He was smiling to Jia-Long, timidly.

"Thank you", he said again. "_Thank you so much_", again in Xiangese. "You... you have no idea how much this means to me." Jia-Long noticed him blushing awkwardly, staring down on the floor as he stood in front of him. He had never expected to feel gratitude towards Jia-Long, and so he was unsure of how to deal with what he was feeling.

"You're welcome", Jia-Long replied. "You're much more beautiful when you smile", he commented, accenting the meaning of his compliment by stroking Egill's cheek. The touching made Egill pull back instinctively, but to his surprise Jia-Long did not pursue him. "Sorry", he said instead, with his eyes looking down – perhaps in shame.

"No, it's okay..." Egill found himself saying. Just like before he felt guilty when Jia-Long apologized, but now that the heir was actually willing to listen to him, he felt able to explain himself better. "I just don't like touching very much..." But he was not completely repulsed by Jia-Long's hands – they still felt the same as when he had been ill on the junk, and had mistaken the heir for Lukas. He did not want to say that, however; not only was it embarrassing to admit, but he did not want Jia-Long to go around thinking he could touch Egill as much as he liked. Since he was going to try and treat Egill like a human being he would have to respect his personal space as well; that was the prince's plan.

Jia-Long informed him then that he was taking the letter to a messenger, and bid Egill good night. He did not kiss his cheek before leaving, and so the prince was left staring after him, returning a confused "_good night_". It was much later than he had realized, and so he disappeared into his bedroom to get some sleep.

As always his bed felt heavenly when he lay down on it, dressed in his light teal sleeping wear and wrapped in the sheets. Sleep did not come easy, for he felt happier than he had since he was robbed away from home. Other nights he would feel empty or indifference – or tired from the endless studying – so he would fall asleep at once. This night was special however, with his mood finally lifted, as he thought about Lukas. He hoped his letter would ease his brother's worries, so that he would never again have to make that face that had been the last Egill saw of him. Just saving him from that would be enough of an accomplishment.

Egill had not asked if he would be allowed to send another letter, or even receive one back, but he did not dare to hope for that. Just having sent a letter was enough; he could not allow himself to be greedy, for that would only lead to disappointment. It was better to accept what he had, and be happy with what he was given.

The day had certainly been very surprising, he thought as he lay there. Jia-Long deciding to change his way after hurting him in the _kwoon_ was almost a greater gift than sending a letter to Lukas, if he thought about it, for the Jia-Long he had enjoyed dinner with had been nicer than what he could ever have hoped for. Having his smile complimented had been nice too; after so much flattering on how beautiful he was when sad it had felt good to be told that he was attractive when happy as well. It meant, hopefully, that Jia-Long would try and make him smile more.

Still the motive behind Jia-Long's change was shady, but Egill did not want to be pessimistic. It was better to think that he was serious than disregard the kindness, even though Lukas had told him the opposite when they lived on the streets. It had been something that made sense to them at the time, as they had learnt that nothing was free, but when Lukas married the King and gained the status of Queen Egill had learnt that sometimes good things could come from nothing. Sometimes he was just too blinded by grief to see it, but now, feeling gay, he accepted the charity.

Eventually sleep did come, and for once Egill's dreams were free of fright, replaced by warm thoughts towards Jia-Long.

x

For an emperor about to send a few troops to war it was no wonder Yao was busy till late night, but finally his generals left him right before midnight, letting him go to bed. Imagine his surprise when he, upon stepping out of the throne room, found his heir lounging on the floor and staring at the ceiling like any bored and ineffectual good-for-nothing.

"_If you wanted to join the meeting you should have taken the opportunity I gave you_", Yao scolded when Jia-Long looked up at him from the floor, and raise to his feet. In his hand was a sealed paper scroll. "_And what's that you're holding_?"

"_Thanks, but I preferred dining with Egill over your boring meeting_", Jia-Long replied and yawned, stretching his arms. Once done he handed the scroll to Yao. "_It's a letter_."

"_To whom?" _Yao asked, suspiciously eyeing it, as if though there was a weapon hidden inside.

"_Queen Lukas of Dankrieg_", Jia-Long said. "_From Egill. He misses his brother, so I decided to let him write a letter_."

"_What nonsense_", Yao said. "_Since when did you grow a heart_?"

"_You wound me, Yao_."

"_I wish_", Yao replied. "_What are you playing at_?"

"_Nothing_", Jia-Long said, trying to assure the emperor. He knew that Yao was intelligent; as an emperor had to be; but he knew that he was cleverer still. And he knew that if he just stuck to his plan everything would go accordingly, just like always. "_But I don't want him to hate me... so I decided to do something nice_."

The words Jia-Long spoke were filled with deceit; Yao could smell the stench of lying, and so he promptly tore the sealing open, only to tear the letter in two without even looking at the writing of it.

"_There shall be no communication between the Queen or King of Dankrieg and Egill_", Yao decided. "_He belongs to Xiang now, and should do best to sever his ties to that pathetic nation. Rather than writing letters in that hideous language he should hone his Xiangese, until that he cannot even remember the words he grew up speaking_."

Jia-Long's look darkened, as he saw the torn up letter. "_Well, why don't you say that to him yourself_?" he asked the emperor. "_Why don't you tell him that it's not me oppressing him, but his beloved teacher_?"

"_Fool_", said Yao. "_You should have asked for permission before telling him to write._"

"_Don't you remember telling me that I could have whatever I wanted_?" Jia-Long asked daringly, interested in what the response would be.

"_And you can_", said Yao. "_If you want to send them a letter you may. But Egill is another matter, and you should do well to remember that. Until you are emperor he is under my control, and under my rules; and not yours_." After speaking such crude words, reminding Jia-Long of his place, Yao left the hall.

In public he would of course grant Jia-Long's wishes; he could not embarrass the future emperor publically, and make the heir seem unfit to rule, or wrong. Having the world see the emperor of Xiang as incompetent would be fatal, and so Yao had to make sure that he was well liked, even though he knew Jia-Long as the spoiled and self-centred brat that he was. It was far too late now to choose another heir, so the only thing he could do was spare Jia-Long of public contempt, and give him what he wanted. It was regretful, but the truth was rarely pleasant.

By the time Yao reached his floor he had calmed down considerably, and only looked forward to sleeping. He undressed himself in front of the mirror, without feeling that narcissism he had experienced when he was younger. He didn't look that much older when his cheeks were powdered and his body was covered in expensive garments to prove his position, but when he was bare it almost scared him how he appeared to have aged. Never had he been as strong as Jia-Long, but he recalled when he was still athletic; now he experienced back pain and neck pain like any mortal being. Youth was so fleeting. He wondered about Egill's fate when his beauty started to fade as well; he was still in his prime, and would be for another decade if he was lucky; but would he be discarded by Jia-Long after that point? Yao pitied the boy.

When his aging body was hidden in a scarlet silk robe Yao walked towards his bed, but stopped when he noticed the torn up letter. He had not let go of the pieces, he realized, until he had stripped of his clothes. They lay there on the floor before him, taunting him, until he could not fight the curiosity anymore. He picked the pieces up and sat down in front of an open lantern, holding them together and reading.

Egill's handwriting was easy to comprehend, yet elegant, just like when he wrote in Xiangese. It was a very nice style, Yao thought as he read the letter.

The content surprised him, but even more so made him feel pride. It was understandable that Egill would attempt to comfort his brother, but the praising of Xiang that the prince had written was perhaps superfluous. He described in great detail how beautiful he found the forests, the towns, the mountains and the castle, and how much he enjoyed the food, the language, and the art. Surely he meant much of the praise as well, something that warmed Yao's heart. Xiang was his country after all, and as its emperor he was its greatest patriot; the one whom always had love all it. It felt like Egill was praising _him_, rather than the country, and so Yao swelled with pride.

When the compliments of Xiang were over with Egill described Jia-Long, in a light that surprised Yao. The prince wrote that while finding Jia-Long to be unbearable he had realized that even he had good sides, and that Jia-Long had been kinder to him lately. Yao realized that it was most certainly just an empty description to make Lukas feel less terrible about letting him go.

The final paragraphs came to be the most interesting parts for the emperor, as they were about him. In the letter Egill described him as benevolent, patient and intelligent, while praising his pedagogic ability. "His highness is most kind to me", Egill had written. "I had thought he was cruel, but whenever we are alone he is honest and generous. I think that his callous leadership is but a front to show Xiang strength, but as a person he is very gentle."

Yao had not expected to hear such a description of his persona, for he had not realized that his guard was down when with Egill. The analysis of his ruling shocked him with its truth, but impressed him even more. He knew that he should show Egill a stricter character, but he could not bring himself to; especially not after hearing such praise. To be himself was something he needed, and to have his personality appreciated felt wonderful.

Jia-Long did not deserve him, Yao thought bitterly. Egill was far too intelligent, kind and beautiful for the ungrateful heir, but unfortunately, he could not do anything about it. If Jia-Long ended up hurting him however there would be consequences, no matter what that would do to Xiang's future. A man who would harm someone like Egill did not fit the role or emperor.

Under his pillow the torn up letter lay when Yao eventually settled down in bed. It was late, and he was exhausted; but it was the letter, surely, that brought him sleep finally, for his mind was filled with warm thought about Egill.

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><p><em>Thank you all so much for your reviews; I am thrilled you are all enjoying this story. <em>


	7. A Creed

**Chapter Seven – A Creed**

Two months had passed since Egill thought his letter had been sent, and he had come to truly enjoy himself. His Xiangese was steadily improving, especially since Yao had added an hour to ever day's lesson, and as summer approached them not only was it warmer, but the garden bloomed beautifully, with pink cherry trees clashing gorgeously with the castle's darker colours. Most of all he had come to enjoy his time with Jia-Long, however.

Every day after his Xiangese lessons Egill would meet with his fiancé at the _kwoon_, where he was taught self-defence. Jia-Long had not repeated his mistake from the first lesson ever since, and so Egill gained more control of his body, and learned to be more aware of his surroundings. He also felt physically stronger, something that even started to show on his usually frail body.

After the lessons in self-defence they would have lunch together, followed by lessons in geography, also taught by Jia-Long. Twice a week he would also have dancing lessons following dinner, with a woman named Vinh. Her Xiangese was as poor as his, as she came from a country that had been overtaken by Xiang two decades prior, and still spoke another language at home; but she was a proficient and elegant dancer, who taught him well. Usually following the dancing lessons, or later at night after he studied on his own, Jia-Long would visit him and they would play Xiangese games such as _mahjong_ and _liubo_; and even though Jia-Long won most of the times, Egill steadily got better.

Egill's schedule was never as busy as Yao's, and he saw the emperor very rarely outside of his lessons. Dinner was mostly spent alone, and if he was lucky with Jia-Long, but more often than not the emperor would eat with his heir alone. They did not involve him in important matters, and so he was unaware that Xiang had invaded Jahon; a neighbouring country; but an island outside of Xiang's east coast, and won a war just a couple days ago. Egill did not even know of Jahon at all, secluded as it was, before a geography lesson of Jia-Long's where he had gone over the countries closest to Xiang; and countries that were but suzerain states to them; such as the country Vinh hailed from.

That something had happened become clear however when Egill noticed that his teacher was late that day, for the first time since the lessons began. It worried him, and so he left the study to climb the stairs to the castle's seventh floor. He knew that he was not supposed to be there, but he had waited for over an hour, with no sign of Yao, and so he decided to break the rule. In his time in Xiang he had yet to disobey anyone, but he hoped that he would not get in trouble; his intention was pure, after all.

There was no one answering the door when he reached the seventh floor and knocked, which should indicate that no one was there. But he grew really concerned, and still opened it. It was the first time in Yao's quarters, but he immediately came to wish that they were his. Perhaps in the future he would share the rooms with Jia-Long? The thought was one he had grown used to, and so it did no longer freak him out to think casually about a marriage in their future.

The biggest difference between Yao's floor and his own was the light; with the balcony reaching all around the chambers, letting in light from every angle. It gave the floor a vibrant and peaceful feeling, making him feel calm, which the light blue coloration contributed with. This was its intended purpose, he supposed; to ease Yao's stress and worry.

What stole his breath however was when he entered the gallery; a room he did not even know existed in the castle. The originally white walls were covered in an extensive and detailed drawing of a town, with every miniscule human being detailed to their finger nails. The colours appeared to shine, they were so lively, and he realized that he could stare at the art piece for days and still not realize everything about it. Constantly there were new parts to see; a sign for a shop written in Xiangese, or a human boy one couldn't notice until the fifth time witnessing it. The drawing that surrounded the room was unlike any other drawing he had seen in Xiang, for it was of people, a town; not nature, or calligraphy. He wondered who the artist was, but quickly realized that rather than looking for the signature of an artist, he should be looking for Yao, and so he left the room.

Finally Egill found the emperor, when he entered the bedroom. It was not light like the others, but dark, save for an open lantern next to a large mirror. In the centre of the room he saw a bed, where Yao lay, appearing to be fast asleep.

Instinctively Egill knew that he should leave; Yao was overworked, and needed the rest; but he found himself frozen in position, staring at the emperor's sleeping form. Inexplicably he took a step into the room, and his body moved of its own over to the bed, to kneel by Yao's side. The emperor was breathing softly in his sleep, and Egill found himself thinking that he looked almost like a beautiful woman; so serene and calm. Such a scene should not be disturbed, but still he spoke.

"_Your highness_", he said in Xiangese. Three weeks ago the emperor had told him to use his name when they were alone, but he still found it hard to do. When the words had no effect however, he gave it a try. "Yao..."

At the calling of his name, the shut eyes blinked open, ever so slowly, as Yao woke up. He felt exhausted, and thought that he must have been dreaming, for staring up he saw Egill's beautiful face hovering above his own, with two wide and pure eyes – coloured violet – staring down at him.

"Egill?" he asked, as he rose to sit up.

"_I am sorry, your highness_", Egill said. "_I know I am not supposed to be here, but I was worried_..." He spoke with over articulation at every word, but they were used correctly; making Yao feel very proud indeed.

"_Why were you worried_?" Yao asked, rubbing his tired eyes. His guard was really nonexistent with Egill, he came to realize; to be seen without proper clothes on was inexcusable. It was enough to get someone killed; yet he did nothing to Egill, who really should know what a taboo this was.

"_You were late_", Egill responded. "_I thought... something had happened_."

He was late? Yao had overslept. Perhaps he had not awoken when his attendant came to wake him this morning; and so she had just given up, rather than walk inside and shake life into him; perhaps she had decided that he should get some sleep, and deliberately not woken him; regardless of the reason, he would have to have her killed. It was unforgivable, having him miss valuable time with Egill like that.

Egill stood up when Yao also rose from the bed, with his long black hair hanging free, clad in a short white robe that revealed much skin; and only then did the prince realize what a grave mistake he had made; to see one of the most powerful men in the world in just his underwear. With blushing cheeks Egill turned his face away, and said "_I am sorry_."

The blushing told Yao that perhaps Egill liked what he was seeing, something that made him feel rather attractive; even though he was undressed, without make up on, or his hair in a presentable fashion. But Egill liked his true personality; and so he probably enjoyed Yao's true appearance just the same. Years felt like they had been taken off his chest, and Yao smiled as he placed a hand on Egill's shoulder, letting it linger there.

"_It is all right_", he said. "_I do not mind_." He let his hand slid down Egill's arm before letting go, and he walked towards the mirror past the prince; who was startled and shocked by the action and words of Yao. For someone who thought so highly of etiquette to brush off seeing him while indecent was very odd, but the hand on his shoulder had been the weirdest part of all. It had lingered there just for a while longer than normal.

Yao looked back over his shoulder at Egill, whom appeared to be frozen in place. "_Come here_", Yao called, and so Egill moved to his side before the large mirror that reflected them both. Egill was just a bit taller than the emperor, but neither man was of noteworthy height. Egill hoped that he would grow just a bit more; he was merely fifteen, boarding on sixteen; but Lukas had said he was lucky to get to his current height even, as he had been so malnourished growing up. He had observed that men and women from Xiang were shorter than Dankriegian people as a whole, so while Jia-Long still bested him in height, it was not by overly much, and it was an exception rather than a rule.

With the height aside there were much separating their appearances, thought Yao as he observed Egill indirectly. The prince was paler than him, and his eyes were round and wide, rather than Yao's slanted Xiangese ones. Their hairs were also vastly different; while Egill's white hair was tousled and luscious Yao's dark hair was silky and smooth; reaching below his shoulders while Egill's barely reached his chin.

As they stood before the mirror Egill was growing wary; wondering why Yao wanted them to stand near each other like this. He could tell that Yao was eyeing his reflection, rather than his own; another thing that worried him. There probably was nothing to be scared of, but he almost expected Yao to act like Jia-Long used to do; reach out and touch his cheek; call him beautiful. This worry was perhaps born out of self-conceit, but it did not want to leave him alone.

Eventually Yao realized that he had been staring at them for long enough, and so he regretfully told Egill that their lesson for the day was cancelled. His reasons were that he needed to be dressed and fed, and had a long day ahead of him that he needed to focus on. They stood very close when Yao said this, but backing away would be rude and so Egill stood his ground. Yao's eyes were meeting his, making Egill see just how tired the emperor was; making him want to ask why, and if there was anything he could do to help. He was about to ask when they were interrupted; and reminded of the fact that Egill had not closed the door upon entering.

"Egill, why are you here?" Jia-Long's voice came from the doorway. It was cold and dangerous; speaking to an enemy, nay, threatening. It frightened the prince, whom could not bring himself to look directly at his fiancé. "I asked you a question", Jia-Long said.

"Jia-Long!" Yao called angrily; his tiredness washed away. "_You are not allowed inside my quarters unless specifically asked to_."

"_Neither is my fiancé_", Jia-Long responded. He would always speak Egill's language when with the prince, and so he was a bit clueless of how much Xiangese he understood. "_Or did you call him here? Call him to your bedroom before you were even dressed_?"

"_No_", Egill pleaded, trying to end their argument. "_He did not, I came here because his highness was late_." His words were dismissed and ignored.

"_Do not imply that I am as perverse as you_", Yao said defiantly. "_My student was worried about me, and I had told him that he was welcome inside if I was ever late; as I was today. So stop your accusations, child_."

Egill had not seen them fight before, and to be the cause of their argument made him feel guilty. Never had he heard Jia-Long sound so mad; and the cold tone he used was scary in the similarity it held to how the heir used to talk to him, before his change of heart.

Luckily Yao's words; his lie; managed to calm Jia-Long down, and he did not respond angrily to it. "_Very well_", he said, before shifting his gaze to Egill. "Come", he told him. "Let's leave the old man to fret over his loss of beauty and youth." He held out his hand for Egill to grab.

Such a dilemma, thought Egill as he bowed his head to Yao before hurrying over to Jia-Long, and grabbing his hand. He knew that Yao was much more mature, and did not need him to calm down; but Jia-Long was a different matter. If the heir thought that Egill chose Yao over him the consequences would be dire, so he knew it had been a good choice to go to Jia-Long; even though the clasp of his hand was painful, and the dark look in Jia-Long's eyes scared him. It was murderous intent, Egill realized, and so he remained silent when he was pulled along down the stairs to the heir's chambers, where he was dragged into the living quarters; that were so much darker and less pleasant than Yao's.

When they had stopped Jia-Long realized how hard he had held Egill's hand, and so he immediately let go while apologizing. "Are you all right?" he asked when he saw Egill caress his sore hand.

"I am", the prince assured him, although he was shaking. Jia-Long appeared to be really upset still, and he did not know what to do about it. That angry look had yet to leave the heir's face, and it made him look dangerous.

Egill's action shocked them both, but mostly Jia-Long; when the prince's arms were around his waist; hugging him.

A part of Jia-Long felt smug – hadn't his plan just worked out great? – but the more dominating part of him felt surprised, and relieved. He returned the hug, pulling the prince closer to his body, and closed his eyes. This embrace was not one he had anticipated, but then again, neither had he predicted Yao's interest in Egill. That his plan proved to be flawed annoyed him, but it made him feel even more determined. Before Yao got the chance to make Egill fall for him Jia-Long would make the prince completely head over heels in love; for _him_, Jia-Long. With competition it would prove to be harder, but he was many steps ahead the old emperor, and so he did not doubt his ability to win.

When Jia-Long let go Egill too stepped back, and sighed in relief when he noticed that Jia-Long was no longer appearing angry. "Are you... all right?" he still asked.

The concern was cute. "Yes", Jia-Long assured him. "But let me warn you of Yao. Beware of him."

"Nothing happened between us", said Egill nervously. "If that is what you think. I would never-"

"I know", said Jia-Long. "But I am saying this for your own sake. Yao is growing old, and it's common for older men to feast on young boys to make themselves feel younger." The use of the word "feast" made Egill feel uncomfortable, but he would have doubted what was being said, if not for what had happened before. Yao's hand stroking his arm, lingering on his shoulder; the closeness, the looks... They painted up a picture relatable to Jia-Long's suspicion. Perhaps he was correct.

So Egill nodded. "I'll be careful", he promised his fiancé. "Actually, I was really shocked that he was okay with me seeing him so indecent..." His cheeks heated up as he remembered the scene.

Just like Jia-Long expected, then. "Don't worry yourself too much", he said. "I am here to protect you... and you've learnt to protect yourself better, have you not?"

Egill smiled. "Yes", he confirmed. The lessons in the _kwoon_ were always exciting to him nowadays, as he no longer felt weak or useless. He hadn't been sick once since arriving in Xiang either, and was certain that he could describe his life at the castle as "happy". He got to sleep in a nice bed, he had a kind and attractive fiancé, and the food he ate on a regular basis was more delicious than anything in Dankrieg. At times he wished that he could be allowed to write another letter to his brother, whom he missed dearly, but he did not want to appear as rude and demand to write it. He was just thankful to have been given even that one letter to write, for it meant that Lukas and Mathias knew that he was alright.

With the Xiangese lesson cancelled the boys headed down to the _kwoon_ earlier than normal, as they could have a prolonged session. After dressing – in different dressing rooms – they met on the platform as usual, and started with the basic throws that Egill had been taught.

The primary technique that Jia-Long had taught him was how to throw someone over the shoulder by using their own strength against them; if someone was to approach him from behind. It had taken him weeks to master that move, but now for demonstration he had no problem with grabbing Jia-Long's wrist, reach down and grab his arm with his free hand; and then tilt his body forward as he tossed Jia-Long over. Since Jia-Long was well trained, and knew how to bounce back from the throw, he never got hurt; but anyone who was not a martial artist would be in pain, the heir assured him.

That was one of three moves that Egill had learnt; the second one was more complicated, but since it did not require as much physical strength as the back throw he had mastered it far quicker. It was the move Jia-Long had used on Lukas before they left the castle in Dankrieg; how to catch a punch and twist the arm until the opponent did not move.

The third and final technique was how to escape having your arms locked behind your back; by means of stomping on the attackers toes; kick their leg; and most effectively; trip them. The key was not to struggle one's upper body; but do it efficiently, and painlessly. It was a tricky move, but he had mastered it just two days prior, and was able to perform at the demonstration this day.

Also in the self-defence lessons Egill had trained offensive moves; basic kicks and punching techniques. Beforehand Jia-Long had explained that he wished Egill never had to use them, but that a good defence could be a good offence; even though he also taught Egill to run first and foremost if faced with a foe, and only use force if there was no way out.

Alongside the kicks and punches he had also trained how to block them, and evade attacks; something he was far better at than attacking. Jia-Long said that it was because he always hesitated in attacking, but blocking came more natural; something Egill assumed must be the truth; if not because he was reluctant to causing harm, then because it was Jia-Long who made the observation.

Today, after practicing the normal moves, they still had more time left, and so Jia-Long dared to suggest another thing for them to do. Sparring.

He promised, of course, that he would be gentle; when he saw Egill's eyes widen at the suggestion. And they would not be out to hurt each other, of course; the rules Jia-Long laid out were rather simple; to win you had to touch the other's head. They seemed strange, to Egill, but it just meant that he had to block any attack towards his head, and retaliate. Jia-Long also promised not to do his best; since that would be very unfair.

The sparring started then, with Jia-Long on the attack. He dashed forward and seemed to dive down, putting a hand on the floor and swinging his entire body; kicking towards Egill's face. The prince shrieked; never having been attacked like that, and stepped back just enough for the kick to miss.

There was no time for celebration however, for as soon as the kick missed it was swung down at the ground where Jia-Long crouched, and the spinning motion continued as he shot out his other leg; tripping Egill. Before Egill could hit the floor Jia-Long was there to catch him so that he wouldn't hurt; and when the prince was in his arms, he gently poked the pale forehead hidden under the snowy fringe.

"Hm", Jia-Long mused, while Egill blushed in the intimate hold. He wanted to be let go of, but he couldn't bring himself to complain; for one reason or another.

"What?" Egill asked, pouting slightly.

"What a surprise", Jia-Long smirked. "I won."

"You did not go easy... except for the saving me part", Egill accused him when he was finally allowed to stand on his own two legs. He was almost certain that Jia-Long had done that simply to show off; but he would be lying if he said that he wasn't impressed. How could one move so quickly? How could one control their body like that?

Jia-Long smirked again. "I did", he said. "I let you evade that kick. If I wanted it to hit, it would have hit; and knocked your head off."

There was no way that was true, Egill thought. "You're exaggerating."

"No", Jia-Long assured him. "I'll show you sometime."

Egill's eyes widened; how could one mention killing so causally, when not even discussing wars or executions? "No need", he said. "I believe you." He sounded hasty; scared even, in Jia-Long's opinion, and so the heir patted his head.

"Didn't mean to freak you out", he said. "I won't kill anyone... but you might get to see me in a real fight, if you want."

Fighting was pointless, when just for sports; as someone growing up on the harsh streets that was an opinion Egill upheld; but if anyone could make him interested in it, it was definitely his fiancé. He was in awe at how Jia-Long could move, and intrigued to see him in action versus someone he did not need to care about. Since Jia-Long was the best fighter in Xiang he did not have to worry about him losing, either.

With this in mind, Egill smiled. "Really?" he asked.

"Yes", Jia-Long replied. "There is an annual tournament in Kwanyo" – Xiang's capital, according to the lessons in geography – "every summer. I'm participating, of course; it will be my third year in a row as the national champion." So far into their relationship Egill had not dared to ask Jia-Long of his age, but he was in fact very curious. Especially since Jia-Long kept referring to Yao – someone who looked young in Egill's eyes – as old made him doubt his suspicion that he and Jia-Long were the same age. What if his fiancé was in fact 20, or older?

This was a good chance to find out his age. "Three years ago... you must have been a very young champion", Egill commented. He hoped that it was not insulting; sometimes that confused him.

"I was 12", Jia-Long said. "Youngest champion in history", he said, sounding awfully smug; but with right, probably. "Though... it was on my birthday, partly, so I entered as a boy, at 12, and won as a man, at 13."

"So... you're 16?"

"Can't you do math?" Jia-Long teased. "My 16th birthday is in the summer, around the championship, at the 1st of July."

Egill had thought his fiancé looked older, even though he suspected them to be around the same age; but to find out that he was in fact a few days older than him came as a shock. It was kind of funny, actually; Jia-Long was taller than him, stronger than him, better at geography, better at games... but he was younger. Egill couldn't help himself from smiling.

The sudden smile surprised Jia-Long; it told him something was wrong. He had wanted to know exactly how old Egill was, but had decided to wait until the prince asked first; to see if he would cave in out of curiosity. Jia-Long was happy that he did, but all of a sudden he realized; no matter how young Egill looked, perhaps he was far older? Maybe he was 18, or 19 even? Did he suddenly look at Jia-Long as a little child? Perhaps he should have lied.

This worry Jia-Long masked perfectly when he asked, "And you're what? 13?"

"I'm 15 also", Egill said, not falling for Jia-Long's taunts. "But I'm turning 16 this summer, like you. On the 17th of June." So Egill was older than him? By mere days, sure, but still; Jia-Long couldn't help but be surprised. He thought that Egill looked younger than him by many years, and so this revelation was shocking.

The lack of response worried Egill; he felt like he had disappointed Jia-Long in some way that he could not help. "I'm sorry", he apologized. "If it makes you feel better... I thought you were older than me too." That Egill would apologize for something he had absolutely no control over did not surprise Jia-Long in the least; after all, it was something he had observed about his fiancé. If he sensed that Jia-Long was displeased with something Egill would try and make it better; and what an incredible quality that was. It was almost in league with his looks in what Jia-Long liked the best about him.

"No need to apologize", Jia-Long assured him. "It's not your fault." He couldn't say something akin to "it's all right"; even though he truly wasn't bothered by it; for that might make Egill more reluctant to apologize in the future. It was so much better to have him thinking that there was something wrong; for when weighed by guilt, Egill was as entertaining as he was glorious.

That he was excused made Egill feel better again. He hated making Jia-Long needlessly upset; he preferred him when he was kind, like now. Whoever said people could not change was wrong.

X

A squad of so called _shinobi_ from the country Jahon had successfully infiltrated Xiang by the time the emperor had gone to sleep that night. Xiang and Jahon had had many disputes in the past, and after a fleet of Jahonese pirates had attacked Xiangese merchants there was nothing surprising with Emperor Yao's demand of an official apology, and retribution for what the pirates had stolen. When the empress of Jahon gave her official condolences, but said that they could not be held accountable for the actions of their lawless pirates, Yao had sent out Xiangese troops to "collect" what had been stolen from the merchants; or as a simpler man would explain it; declared war. Most battles were by sea at the Xiangese Gulf, but as Xiang was a country of a far greater population, size and wealth it had become inevitable that they won.

To spare her population of more grief the empress gave up and caved to Xiang's demands. As the Xiangese ships left the shores of Jahon however, to go back to Xiang, the Jahonese empress sent _shinobi_; spies and assassins; to infiltrate. They had one clear mission; to do internal damage to Xiang; by killing or kidnapping the heir of the Xiangese throne, by any means necessary.

Now the _shinobi _squad, whom had snuck onboard the ships, were in Xiang. Their intelligence stated that the emperor and his heir currently resided in the castle of the Yuan mountain trail, west of where they arrived in Kwanyo. They also received information, from espionage in Kwanyo, that the heir had a fiancé described to be from a country of the North; and he was supposed to be exceedingly beautiful, which the shinobi took as a sign that he was also vulnerable; and a perfect weakness to exploit.

Under the lead of Honda Kiku, the head assassin working for the empress, the shinobi started to head west; in the disguise of Xiangese soldiers returning from war. No one questioned them, as they were now country heroes; patriots of the highest grade; and so they did not give their Jahonese origin away. Soon they did not need to, either, when the emperor paid for the invasion. Kiku and his squad were certain to make that happen.

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><p><em>Vinh is supposed to be Vietnam (whom will appear more later), and the country of Jahon is obviously meant to be Japan. <em>

_Thank you for reading "The Thistle Emperor"_


	8. Silent Suicides

**Chapter Eight – Silent Suicides**

Dancing in Xiang was far from the dancing Egill had been taught in the castle of Dankrieg, and from the beginning he had felt some objection towards it. The dances he was taught were not dances for couples, such as the waltz, but rather performance dances he was to show his future husband. The first lessons he had felt extremely silly, but Vinh never laughed at him or teased him like Jia-Long would have, and so he had grown to tolerate doing even the embarrassing and supposedly "seductive" moves and dance steps. He had to move his body smoothly, something he unfortunately had a hard time doing, but Vinh told him to not doubt himself, as he was steadily improving.

It was still two years until the marriage, but Egill was quick to realize that it was necessary for them to have started preparing so early. It was difficult in a way that Xiangese or self-defence was not, for it was not just something to memorize, or learn tricks for; it was an entire way of moving, where he had to change his body language completely. Egill was far from coy, but while dancing, he had to be playful, elegant and seductive; all at once.

The butterfly dance; that was what he was being taught; and other than his body he also needed to master two paper fans. His only sense of relief, with having to perform such an embarrassing act, was that Jia-Long would be the one person to witness it; other than Vinh. If he only could have Jia-Long swear to not make fun of him for it he was quite sure that he would be able to perform, on time.

Most of their lessons would last for two hours, but this one was cut short by half an hour since Jia-Long had requested for Egill to come to his room afterwards. As time passed while living in the castle Egill had come to enjoy the time spent with Jia-Long more and more, so his mind was strictly on his fiancé while he danced for Vinh, repeating the moves she had just shown him; swaying his arms and hiding his face behind the paper fans in that playful, but controlling fashion that she advised. How would Jia-Long act when he saw it, Egill wondered when he closed one of the fans; blushing at the thought. Truth to be told, he was not only nervous about Jia-Long seeing him; but also excited. He wished that he would be perfect by the time of their marriage; he felt that his fiancé had so many expectations of him, and he needed to fulfil them. Many times Jia-Long had complimented him for his looks, but he wanted to hear other compliments as well; that Jia-Long found him skilled, or intelligent, or simply nice to be around. That fulfilment he had gotten from Yao, who complimented his Xiangese, but lately he had been wary of the emperor; after the day he had been late, a week ago. Now he only wanted that approval from one person, and however selfish that was, that person had to be Jia-Long.

"_Is something wrong, sir_?" Vinh asked him.

"_No_", Egill quickly replied, and he shook his head to make his thoughts go away, as they clouded his vision.

Vinh appeared to not believe him, but as a mere tutor she was not allowed to pry into his life, and so she accepted the answer to go on with the lesson; much to Egill's relief. Explaining his feelings was not something he enjoyed doing, and since he had a hard time comprehending them himself having to express them to someone else would make him seem like a loon.

They went about the rest of the lesson like normal, but as soon as it was over Egill left in a hurry, so that he would have the time to make himself look presentable. The chambermaid who always helped him dress was busy, but upon his request when he found her she left her cleaning duties to help him put on the dark pink _shenyi_ he knew Jia-Long loved seeing him in. Since Jia-Long no longer treated him like a doll, and hadn't done so for months, he never asked Egill to wear something special; but the prince chose to do so on his own will, since it made the heir happy. Also having the choice meant a lot to Egill, and he had realized that he wasn't so opposed to wear women's clothing as he was opposed to being _forced_ to wear it. The garments were actually nice, and so he no longer rejected them.

His chambermaid helped him comb his hair as well, so that it did not stick out in the tousled manner it liked to do. Finally they managed, after wetting it, and he was ready to go up to the sixth floor to see Jia-Long. She wished him good luck, gently, and he thanked her.

Something special would happen, Egill thought, rather happily, when he ascended the stairs. Otherwise Jia-Long wouldn't have scheduled it at the same time as his dancing lesson; so what could it be?

Egill was allowed to enter Jia-Long's chambers whenever, and so he did not knock before opening the door, and looking around for his fiancé. He found him on the balcony, on a cushion by a low table, alit with candles. Atop the table, save for the candles, were a teapot and two cups; all in dark green china, filling the air with a scent of green _jie_ tea. The light was dim, but when Jia-Long looked up to see Egill he was still able to make out what he was wearing, and how lovely he looked. There was something serene with the way Egill looked at him back, and his movement were much more graceful than they had been when he first came to Xiang; an obvious result of the dancing classes.

After bowing his head Egill went to sit down across the table on the other cushion, and he picked up the teapot and poured the tea into their cups slowly; making sure to not spill anything. He had luckily gotten better at the task, and managed to perform it perfectly this time; but he hid the excitement he felt of that fact on the inside. How he longed for a compliment on this skill he had mastered.

"_Thank you_", Jia-Long said in Xiangese, and he brought up the cup with both hands to drink. Egill mirrored his move, and they put the cups down again at the same time. "You look stunning." Although Egill's Xiangese was quite good, especially considering the short amount of time he had practiced it, Jia-Long still opted to use the language spoken in Dankrieg. It was not because he wanted to make Egill feel at home, although that was what he had told the prince, but as a sort of rebellion towards Yao, who only wished that Egill would speak Xiangese.

Egill smiled politely. "Thank you", he responded. One of the many rules he had been taught about Xiangese customs was that he should not ask his "husband", or "husband to be" questions; or speak out of order. He had obeyed these social structures for a while, but Jia-Long had told him that he was free to speak his mind if they were alone – just like Yao had told him to call him by name in solitude – and so he decided to ask. "Was there any special reason why we ended my dancing lesson?"

"No", Jia-Long said. "I just wanted to see you now." The motivation was puzzling, but Egill accepted it without question; it felt flattering, after all.

"Thank you", Egill said again, offering a small smile as he brought up the cup to drink more tea. He did wish, sometimes, that Lukas was there with him, and could enjoy Xiang as much as he did; but in a weird way, he really liked that this was _his_ life, independent of Lukas. Of course this made him feel guilty, for he owed his life to his older brother, but he reminded himself that Lukas was doing fine, since he had explained in the letter that he was all right, and so there was nothing to feel bad about.

"What's on your mind?" Jia-Long asked. "You look like you're thinking about something. Tell me."

"No, it's just... I thought about my brother", Egill mumbled. He didn't like brining Lukas up in front of Jia-Long, but since he had asked, there was no way around it. When Jia-Long didn't say anything, Egill decided to change the subject; although only slightly. "Do you have any brothers? Or sisters?"

"A sister", Jia-Long replied. "I haven't seen her for a year."

"Why not?" Egill asked carefully. It didn't seem like a taboo subject, but he could never be too sure. He had not expected Jia-Long to have a sibling, though; and he realized that he knew nothing about his fiancé's family. But he wanted to know. He wanted to know as much about Jia-Long as possible. "Could you... tell me about your family? Please?"

When they first met, Jia-Long had thought that Egill would just be a beautiful doll for him to play with. He had liked this arrangement very much, and not given any thought to Egill's feelings, but unknowingly he had grown fond of his "pet". He had taken his game to the next level, where he could toy with Egill's feelings more, but he had never expected it to go this long; to a point where Egill not only smiled genuinely to him, but dressed for his sake, and was interested in his life. How this made him feel confused him, for a part of Jia-Long felt bad for having lied to Egill from the beginning. But coming clean, now of all times, would only be counterproductive; and he had realized that the worst thing out of everything that could happen would be Egill hating him again.

Jia-Long drank more of the tea, before giving his answer. "You deserve to know", he said. "Yao is my uncle, and the younger brother of my father. My father is named Wang Fei-Long, and he is a master of _wushu_, who trained me since I could crawl. His father taught him and Yao, but when Yao was only 9 he was chosen to become the next emperor, and so he was taken away from home." He paused, when he noticed that Egill had a question.

"Why was Yao chosen?" Egill asked.

"The previous empress was their grandmother", Jia-Long said. "My great-grandmother. And Yao was seen as the brighter of the brothers."

"You told me that Xiang didn't choose emperors within their own family", Egill protested. "But if you're all related-"

"You cannot choose your own children", Jia-Long said. "But for five generations, and six with me, the Wang family has been the one to lead Xiang. You can technically choose anyone from a noteworthy family, but we tend to pick within our own." Egill, who came from a country of monarchy, thought this system was at least better than the one in Dankrieg; it might still be a question of whose blood was worth more, but here one could at least choose an heir who fit the role of emperor by Xiangese standards, rather than a first born.

With no more interruption, Jia-Long continued. "My mother died after I was born", he explained. "She was named Zedong Lin, but I don't have many memories of her. My sister is named Wang Mei-Lin, and she's two years older." There was a pause, as they both drank more tea. "You'll meet Mei-Lin and my dad at the championship", he said. "That's the only time we meet. They live on Piung Heng."

"The island in the south?" Egill asked; to show that he had learnt something during the geography lessons.

"Yes", Jia-Long said, before smirking. "Good job remembering that. I was born there as well." Egill only blushed outwardly at the compliment, but his heart was in rhapsody; and he was overly excited about the fact that Jia-Long finally praised something other than his looks. He couldn't be greedy, but he dared wish for just one more form of flattery being bestowed on him. Just one more.

The tale was over, Egill realized then, when Jia-Long no longer spoke. He had asked about his fiancé's family, and he had gotten his answer; he had even found out, finally, about the ties between Yao and Jia-Long. But he didn't feel accomplished; he didn't feel like everything was suddenly better, and made more sense. He wanted to hear more; he wanted to listen to everything Jia-Long had to say. And he wanted to touch him. Hold him. Be held by him. But he knew he couldn't ask for that; even though they were engaged, that would just be too large of a request. The happiness he felt simply by being near Jia-Long; that would have to do.

Something had definitely changed, both boys thought at the same time. The way Egill was looking at him, so full of adoration, shocked Jia-Long; he could still remember the time when he could only read disgust and hate in those wide violet eyes. Seeing them, instead, gaze at him with such warmth was surprising to say the least – even though that had been his plan for over two months – but so much more flattering. If he reached out and touched Egill the boy would not pull away; he realized this.

If Egill found out about the letter, what would he do? He could blame it all on Yao, but would Egill believe him? There was a big step between adoration and admiration; and only when Egill _worshipped_ him could he afford to tell the truth. Jia-Long did not lie to himself; he knew that what he was looking for in Egill was not love, but blind trust; obsolete obedience. But how to get there, from this point, was difficult. He could not afford Egill's opinion of him to waver; and so he needed to continuously shower him with affection – but not so much that Egill felt satisfied; just enough to get him addicted – and remind him constantly of their position, and roles. Brainwashing someone of Egill's age was not an easy task, but Jia-Long thought that he had done a pretty good job so far; as long as there were no interruptions. Yao was in the way, but he was quite certain that he had made Egill distrust him, and so he was no longer a threat. Just an old, washed-up loser who regretted not having taken a partner for marriage when he was still young and desirable.

"There's actually something else I should tell you", Jia-Long said after they finished their tea, and sat in silence. Egill looked at him questioningly, encouraging him to go on. "Yao says we shouldn't bother you with politics, so tell me... do you want to know, or not?"

"I want to know", Egill responded. Truth to be told, unless they were in direct danger he wasn't overly concerned with politics; but he wanted Jia-Long to talk to him more. Also, the fact that Yao didn't want him to hear what Jia-Long was about to relay on him, meant that his fiancé trusted him more; and respected him, in a way the emperor did not.

"Okay", Jia-Long nodded. Such an adorable look Egill was giving him; so filled with optimism and reliance. He was almost a bit addicted to it, himself. "We recently won a war against Jahon." He did not need to elaborate on what Jahon was – if Egill remembered Piung Heng then he should recall Jahon as well. "They attacked our merchant ships for no reason, and refused to take the opportunity Yao bestowed on them to apologize."

How stupid, thought Egill; but since he knew little to nothing about politics he guessed it wasn't more stupid than trading him for an alliance with Xiang, as Mathias had done. Treated him like a piece of bargain... he was probably better off without a cruel man like that; who had just waited for a chance to get rid of him, so that he could be alone with Lukas. He was much better off with Jia-Long, who was so kind and respectful towards him. From the beginning he had hated him, but he couldn't see why; wasn't it Yao and Mathias who had treated him like tool of trade? The heir had only said; "I want him"; that could have meant anything. It was only Yao and Mathias who had spoken about him as if though he was an object.

On the carriage ride, Jia-Long had lent him his lap to sleep on; even though Egill had made him sleep against the hard wall. And on the junk, when he had gotten sick, Jia-Long had again not treated him like a pretty doll; but as an ill human being, and nursed him back to health by himself. It had just been Egill who had refused to see Jia-Long's constant kindness – like the arm around his shoulders when he was sitting in the balcony at the manor of the mountain's end to fend off cold – rather than Jia-Long having suddenly changed to someone nicer.

Having let go of that repressed grudge felt heavenly; like a burden had been lifted off his chest; and Egill stared longingly at his fiancé. The three candles on the table would soon be out; leaving them devoured by the night, but Egill wished that this moment would never end.

Jia-Long noticed that Egill was staring at him, so intensely, and couldn't help but feel smug. His prince was truly perfect. "As I said", he continued, when he realized his pause had been too long. "We won... but the war has been why I had to be with Yao so much." Even though he neglected his duties with the emperor as much as he could, and still spent most of his time with Egill. "Now that it's over, we can look forward to more nights like this." The smile Egill blessed him with was divine.

"I... look forward to that", Egill said shyly. The smile was unable to disappear off his face, and he couldn't help but blush. He wouldn't meet Jia-Long's gaze anymore, but felt it upon him; felt how special it made him feel.

The couple remained on the balcony until the candles died, and they reluctantly left to go to bed. Egill did not want to leave but knew that he had to – his urges to touch Jia-Long; his lust for his touch – those were things to keep in check until they wedded. And so he bid the heir good night and left the chambers, descending the stairs until he reached the floor they called _his_.

Before going into his bedroom he washed himself in the bathing area, as he always did, but he wasted no time in front of the mirror when he was done, just quickly put on his night garment, and crept into his bed. Two more years until the marriage, but the more he slept the faster that day would come. Come sleep, come and devour me already, he encouraged in his mind – to no one, really. His mind was filled with thoughts of Jia-Long, and his body ached for contact with his – contact he would have rejected, months ago. How stupid he had been, to discourage Jia-Long from being so forward. He wouldn't mind, now, if the heir would touch him constantly. He needed it, more than anything else.

The room was completely empty save for him, and he knew that he had no onlookers, but he was still very frightened to do what he eventually did; after sleepless hours of shame and confusion; and that was put his hand inside of his night gown, and touch himself. Egill pulled the sheets up so that they covered his face as well, making him disappear, and he closed his eyes to perfect the darkness; so that he could just focus on how it felt, when he grabbed his member. He opened his robe and he rolled over to the side; picturing his fiancé lying behind him, with his strong arms protectively around his body. Even though their hands were so different – Egill's elegant and smooth, to Jia-Long's more rugged and powerful ones – he tried his best to imagine that the hand on his member belonged to the heir instead.

What Jia-Long would do in this situation he did not know, but it was his fantasy; and he could let him do anything. Jia-Long would stroke him carefully – not wanting to hurt him – but not weakly. He tried to mimic his thoughts, and used his free hand to draw circles on his stomach and caress his chest; to delude himself that he was not alone. He tried to picture Jia-Long's soft but cocky voice in his ear, telling him that he was beautiful, as he stroke his member quicker and quicker.

Pleasure was his driving force as he quickened his pace, with his panting increasing. It was Jia-Long pleasuring him, and it was Jia-Long's hand on his chest, rubbing his hard nipples and whispering into his ear; "Egill", "my love" and "you're mine". And he was; he was Jia-Long's, he was his love, he was... _his_. He came into his own – no, Jia-Long's – hand, and immediately stopped his movement, breathing against the inside of the sheets, breath heavy with lust.

Then he cried. Egill cried, for it hadn't been Jia-Long doing that; it had been him. He had been selfish, he had defiled himself; and nothing would reverse that. He wiped his hand on the inside of the sheets and tightened the night robe around him again, even though it was too thin to provide much resistance, and sobbed until he could no longer think. Only then did sleep arrive.

X

Come the following morning Egill did not leave his chambers despite the servant attempting to make him go to breakfast. She tried reminding him that he had a Xiangese lesson with the emperor to attend, but he wouldn't move, childish as it was.

The servant was starting to panic; only a few days earlier, her friend had been killed for not waking the emperor; what if her fate would be the same? In desperation she reached a conclusion, and went to find master Jia-Long; whom was already up, eating breakfast in his own room. She excused herself as she entered, begging him for help; saying that it concerned master Egill. When he heard his fiancé's name being uttered worry overtook Jia-Long, and so left his room quickly; expecting his fiancé to be sick and weak again. He wasn't wearing anything but a silk red robe, that he didn't care how many servants saw him stroll down the hallway so indecent; he needed to get to Egill.

Upon entering the prince's room, without knocking, Jia-Long saw just the tip of white hair from under the sheets; which served to worry him further. He closed the door and walked over to the bed, kneeling down next to it, and pulled down the sheets. His Egill was curled into a ball; appearing to have cried; and looking absolutely miserable. It almost shattered Jia-Long's heart, to see him like that, and he softly stroke his hand through Egill's hair, marvelling at how it felt as always, but too distracted with Egill's distress to pay full attention to it.

"What's wrong?" he asked, not having to fake the sensitivity in his voice. He felt Egill freeze when he heard him; something that made Jia-Long feel even worse. "Talk to me."

"I'm sorry", Egill said weakly, and he brought up his hands to cover his face.

"Talk to me", Jia-Long repeated, and continued to stroke Egill's hair. "What's wrong?" He tried to think of something that had changed between their tea time at the balcony, and this morning, and could only think that Egill had suffered from a bad dream. "Did you have a nightmare?"

If only, Egill thought. If that had been the case then Jia-Long would have been able to make it better. He didn't deserve having him touch him so gently, but was far too selfish and weak to push him away.

Frustration grew for Jia-Long, when Egill wouldn't answer, so he put his arm around Egill's shoulders and pulled him into an embrace. "Please talk to me", he whispered against the prince's head, while stroking his free arm; the other resting against Jia-Long's chest. "Please."

Jia-Long would be so disappointed, but Egill knew that he deserved the horrible guilt that would cause. He closed his eyes, but did not lean away from the hold, as he spoke. "I... did something wrong", he mumbled. "Something a prince shouldn't do..."

"What?" Jia-Long asked. He failed to see what horrible thing Egill could have done – and worried, briefly, that Yao had paid him a late night visit – but when Egill told him he calmed down.

"I... t-touched myself", he almost whispered, but Jia-Long heard every stuttered word. "I couldn't help it... I'm so sorry..."

"Egill", Jia-Long said, softly, and he stroke the hair away from Egill's forehead to kiss it. "You thought about me, right?" Egill stared into his eyes, surprised at the kiss, but nodded. "Then there's nothing wrong with that", Jia-Long said. "We are going to marry, are we not?" Another nod. "So there's nothing wrong. I don't remember telling you that it is, so whatever Dankriegian stupid rule goes against touching yourself, it doesn't apply here." That was a lie. It was considered naughty, and unrefined, by Xiangese social norms as well; but Jia-Long knew that he needed to comfort Egill now, instead of playing it off to make him feel guiltier. If he wasn't careful Egill could crack; and that was the opposite of his goal.

But Jia-Long was confident. The prince had thought about him, after all. He had gotten sick of their lack of body contact, and craved for Jia-Long's touch; how could he possibly guilt him for that? Doing so would only be counterproductive. Call his method cruel, as lies usually are, but he thought them to be benevolent; he knew what was best for Egill, and wanted to give him that, after all. Kindness rooted in conceit was kindness still.

At his words, Egill looked up at his fiancé, with eyes wide as ever, as if though he couldn't believe what he was hearing; as if though it was too good to be true. "Really?" he asked.

So beautiful, thought Jia-Long; this hopefulness in Egill's eyes, eyes that just cried, this naive optimism; it was breathtaking. He wanted to kiss him, but knew that he couldn't do that – not before their marriage – and also wouldn't; as that would be giving Egill something for free, instead of giving him more time to crave it. Already it had gotten this far, however, so Jia-Long was feeling a bit unsure whether he would be able to prevent a kiss for two long years, or not.

"Really", Jia-Long assured him, and kissed his cheek. He could practically feel Egill melting in his arms then, so content where he sat in Jia-Long's lap, being held by him so tightly. But Jia-Long couldn't complain; he found it most comfortable as well, having his beautiful little fiancé so happy in their embrace. How things had gone up. Yao was chanceless, he knew that now.

He was invincible.

* * *

><p><em>I am really happy with all the thoughtful reviews I get. Thank you so much, your insight is really appreciated!<em>

_Trivia; Jia-Long's father is totally named after Fei-Long from Street Fighter, who in turn was named after the Chinese name for Bruce Lee. Knowing is half the battle._


	9. Blood Runs Red

**Chapter Nine – Blood Runs Red**

Near midnight, when the sky was dark and decorated solely by the large and full moon, Yao was finally free from the responsibilities that came with being an emperor. Finally he could retreat to his chambers, sink his weary body into the hot bath of water that his new chambermaid had been ordered to prepare, and relax. No nuisances disturbed him there; he was free.

Lately he had been in a very bad mood, something that affected all of the servants and guards of the castle. They were all unaware of why, but kept steadily on their toes, ready to be rid of at any moment, as they knew but kept quiet about the truth of their beloved emperor's temper.

The people of Xiang loved Yao; not only was he well read and benevolent of his citizens, but also ruthless against their enemies; and strong, a military genius. During his nineteen years of rule he had won three out of three wars, integrated their suzerain states into Xiangese culture, and sent out help to farms all across the country plagued by poor harvest, when needed. On the outside, he was a perfect leader, and Xiang was a perfect country.

But Xiang had a backside; a dark, terrible secret, which would get you killed for even hinting at. Yao was ready to have anyone who disrupted the perfection murdered, and erased from all records; and in his castle he ruled with fear, rather than intellect. It was needed, in his mind; respect was often equal to fear, and the best way to make someone follow your orders was to make them fear the consequences for disobedience.

This method wasn't always applicable, however, but Yao could think of only two people that he excluded; Jia-Long, and Egill. Jia-Long, for the emperor was unable to properly threat him, and Egill, because he did not wish Egill to think of him in a poor light. It was absolutely crucial that Egill never found out of his dirty secrets; for his own sake.

Sadly, it seemed like Egill was still drifting away, ever since he visited the emperor's bedroom. Had he been appalled with what he had seen? Was Yao truly getting as old as he felt? He brought up a wet hand and touched his face; sure enough, there were wrinkles. And his back hurt, from having to stand for so long during a meeting with his top councils. Moving back to the castle in Kwanyo would probably do wonders to him; he was missing the city, the people, and the atmosphere. Imagining himself in the royal bathhouse soothed his worries momentarily; and imagining Egill there with him did more than that.

It was quite clear that Jia-Long saw him as a threat, to some extent, and that was highly unfortunate. He had obviously been feeding Egill lies about him, which must have been the reason for Egill's lack of attention. His Xiangese was improving, but not as steadily as it had used to; for the engaged couple spent more and more time together alone, neglecting the studies. This saddened Yao greatly; and also angered him; for he knew Jia-Long wouldn't speak Xiangese with Egill to help him along. It was done purely with the intent of spiting Yao, also; which served to madden him further.

Such a hassle, Jia-Long was. What if he had chosen Mei-Lin over her brother? Although not as clever, she would surely have been more eager to learn, and more willing to listen. Instead he was now stuck with that ungrateful brat he called his heir, for years and years. And why? Because Jia-Long had been called a prodigy, had been hailed by the people, and cheered on as an epitome of true Xiangese strength when he won that tournament three years ago. At their cheers, Yao had realized that they would love having Jia-Long announced to be their next emperor; someone who symbolized strength. And so Yao had, when placing the medal of honour around Jia-Long's neck, made a public on the spot announcement that he picked Jia-Long to be his heir.

The people of Kwanyo had been wild with excitement, and even Jia-Long had seemed happy with the arrangement; but he had been less happy when he was not allowed to see his father or sister – not even given time to say good bye – before Yao led him inside of the palace, and told him that it would now be his new home.

It was only after a year, at the next tournament, when Yao allowed his brother to meet with Jia-Long. Yao and Fei-Long had been close growing up, but upon the younger brother, Yao, being chosen as the emperor by their grandmother Fei-Long had grown jealous, and bitter towards him. Yao in turn had decided to ignore his older brother, and so their relationship was very strained; and the annual tournaments were the only time a year they would meet, with Yao being the one to hand out the prize, and Fei-Long having been the one to receive it for years and years before Jia-Long had been born, and he quit fighting to train his son instead.

It was just a little more than a month now, before they would travel to Kwanyo again, and Jia-Long would participate in another tournament. He would allow Jia-Long some time with his family, for once; giving him some time alone with Egill outside of their studies, finally.

If he had had the choice, Yao thought that he would take Egill for himself. A concubine, he would be classed as publically, for Yao was much past the age of taking himself a young spouse, but he would not treat Egill poorly. After all, unlike Jia-Long, Yao saw something other in Egill than a pretty front. In fact, he hadn't even been intrigued by Egill's looks until the prince started dressing in extravagant Xiangese clothes that complimented his colourless skin and hair so well.

Yao, who was in the bath of his floor, sighed when he thought of the beautiful prince. How come he had not claimed him, when he had barged into the meeting with the Dankriegian king and queen? Why had he snapped at him, rather than deciding to keep him? Well, he knew why; but that did not help against the anger he felt towards himself.

He sank down further into the gradually lukewarm water, until only his mouth was visible, and he closed himself off completely from the rest of the world. He was no longer Wang Yao, beloved emperor and feared enemy; he was just a 37 year old Xiangese man in a bath. His castle was but a home, and his staff was but friends, sharing his house. And Jia-Long was not his heir, not at all; just his spoiled nephew. But Egill was still his spoiled nephew's fiancé; that remained an unchangeable fact; if he didn't do anything about it.

After getting out of the bath, and wrapping his body in a white robe, Yao had his new servant make ready his bed. On the other side of the walls to his bedroom the moon was full, shining down upon the distant mountain top where the castle lay. The grass, black in the moonlight, swayed with the soft wind – the early summer air guiding the guards to not mutter about the cold to one-another.

The mountain was vast and cold, impossible to climb even for diligent hikers, but the twenty feet tall wall around the castle garden was still heavily guarded, just like the bridge from the gate to another mountain top, and every cliff on the way. Emperor Yao needed to be safe; that was Xiang's priority.

Cloudless with a shining full moon this night was, as everyone save the bored guards slept soundly. Yao in his room at the top floor, Jia-Long on the floor below, and two stories under his was where Egill found his sleep, with the balcony door open to let in the lovely breeze. He had spent the night with his fiancé, playing _mah-jong_ and enjoying each others' company; and so he was content in his dreams, eager for the next day that would surely be just as lovely. Little did he know this would be his last time in that bed. Hidden by the darkness the squad of stealthy_ shinobi_ were approaching the castle; climbing the impossible mountain side with their unmatchable agility and trusty tools, lead by Honda Kiku.

x

Even though his day had been spent by Jia-Long's side; both in practicing self-defence and geography – as well as sharing dinner and playing _mah-jong_ – Egill was twisting and turning his in sleep, troubled by something he could not pinpoint in his awoken state. Haunted by images of his brother Egill started to cold sweat, overwhelmed with guilt and sorrow. The nightmare, so vivid and dark, woke him up as he gasped, terrified for the unknowing _something _his dream had contained. He could not go back to sleep then, and so he rose to get a glass of water from the carafe that stood on the vanity table. His knees were weak and his hands were shaking – and he looked sick as he saw his reflection. Perhaps having slept with the balcony door open had been a poor move; his throat was on fire, and he coughed; having gotten a cold, surely. After swallowing the water he walked over to close the door, and wanted nothing but to sink back into his bed and wrap the sheets around his ill body.

Just as he reached the door he heard the sound of a drawn sword, and he froze in his tracks when he saw the wooden bars of the balcony being cut off by a dark clad stranger, whom Egill was able to make out from the night sky behind him only due to the drawn and slim sword. Too shocked to cry out Egill only yelled – or attempted to – when the very same stranger put his gloved hand over the prince's mouth and pointed the sword tip against his neck; having jumped forward faster than Egill's eyes could follow.

How to deflect against weapons Jia-Long had not taught him – after all, he had only expected Egill to have to defend against possible rapists or fiends – not kidnappers or assassins. And so he was powerless, threatened with his life, when another mysterious stranger was suddenly behind him, and tied his hands. They did not speak, but one said "_be quiet and obey_" in very poor Xiangese, making him realize these were foreigners.

The hand on his face was removed and they forced a white cloth into his mouth instead, gagging him and nearly suffocating him in the process; and his feverish state made him unable to protest even slightly. Would Jia-Long come to his rescue? He dared hope so, but he knew that it foolish to wish; the kidnappers were silent in their ways, and efficient; how could anyone notice them?

Suddenly he realized; what if they went after Jia-Long? How could he protect himself against them, when he couldn't even hear them? He could be dead before he woke up!

Egill was thrown over the shoulder of one of the kidnappers as they carried him out of the balcony, through the cut hole, when he started to kick and struggle. He needed the gag out, he needed to warn Jia-Long; to alarm the guards – and save them! This wasn't the time to be selfish, and wish for rescue; he was the only one aware of the intruders, and so it was his duty to warn the rest; and save them. If Jia-Long and Yao were to die then what would become of Xiang? He couldn't let that happen.

His struggling came to an end when the kidnappers hit the back of his head, making him lose consciousness for a short while, and so his body grew limp in their hold and his mind went groggy.

The kidnappers ran with him over the unusually still garden, and though woozy Egill spotted two corpses of guards with needles sticking out of their neck, their blood tainting the grass. No signs of battle showed it clearly; they had been murdered silently, unable to even comprehend that they had company. They had been assassinated, simply for the fact that they were guarding Xiang's ruler. Killed, simply for their loyalty and vigilance. The rage that built in Egill when he realized this was indescribable, and comparable only to the fear he experienced when the kidnappers approached the wall, with no signs or realization how impossible it would be to travel down the mountain. They were insane.

Panic overtook Egill when he realized that all hope of escape was gone, and that he would never again see Jia-Long. He tried to chew through the cloth, to twist himself free – do anything – but all of his efforts were in vain, and he was punished for his attempt of escape by one more hit on his head.

But then it happened. None of the kidnappers – the _shinobi_ of Jahon – even noticed that a tenth person had joined their squad. Upon Egill being hit, however, the mystery man broke free from his masked appearance, and grabbed the head of the _shinobi_ holding Egill; breaking his neck by twisting it. This gave his identity as a foe away and he was quickly attacked by another – but he evaded the punch by crouching; then promptly kicking upwards and snapping yet another neck when his powerful heel hit the _shinobi_'s chin.

This strong foe was Jia-Long, Egill learnt, when he was pulled into his fiancé's arms. And they were surrounded then, by the seven remaining intruders, all ready to strike; but Jia-Long moved first. He held Egill with one arm, as if though he was a child; and punched one of the _shinobi _in his face. If Egill had not been gagged he would have warned Jia-Long of the two _shinobi _who attacked from behind, but he did not need to; quickly Jia-Long threw himself forward, out of the circle, and caught his body with his free hand before he hit ground, so that he could jump up till he was standing again, looking at them fiercely. They were cautious, with the hit yet alive _shinobi_ having a cracked nose and bleeding massively.

Jia-Long stomped the ground defiantly. "_How dare you attack my fiancé, Jahonese scum_?" he called with anger Egill only recalled from the time they were in Yao's room. "_Your deaths won't be enough to quench my thirst for revenge for this. I'll slaughter the entire nation of Jahon, make it a barren land cursed for eternity. All whom set foot on it for centuries from now will be killed, men, women and children alike!_" In the middle of his speech one _shinobi_ had left his sight – hidden so well by the shadows – and struck from behind; throwing ten needles at the back of his head. Unfortunately for the _shinobi_ Jia-Long heard as they travelled through the air and ducked, so that the needles flew above him. The other _shinobi_ managed to evade as well, but as they jumped out of the way Jia-Long ran towards one escaping to the left and kicked up in the air; then brining down his leg until he hit the _shinobi_'s shoulder, and a crack was heard through the garden as the man sunk onto the ground.

That a lonesome warrior would be able to take them all down seemed ludicrous to Kiku, but he saw in the corner of his eye how more guards were approaching – attempting to be stealthy but failing. It came clear to him that they would not be able to get away with Jia-Long, Egill – or even kill either – not tonight. Left alive were seven out of nine, and two were only down because of injury, but despite a will for retribution Kiku knew they would do better to find success at another time. And so he called "_retreat_" in Jahonese and fled across the wall, climbing it like a spider would, as he made his escape.

Jia-Long noticed him leaving, but was unable to pursue him this time, as he was holding Egill. The Jahonese would pay – it was not an empty threat he had laid out – starting with the six that remained.

As the guards approached he let go of Egill for them to protect, and followed the four who tried to climb the wall, now many times faster as he was not burdened with extra weight. There was no escaping a Jia-Long mad with vengeance, the _shinobi _learnt, as he slay one by one when he reached them; bashing one's head into the wall; breaking the knees and crushing the lunges of another; snapping the third one's neck off; and finally punch the fourth's face in until he could no longer function.

The _shinobi_ whose shoulder and spine he had broken tried to crawl away when he saw Jia-Long walk over to him – now calm but deadly, as there was no reason to hurry – but the crawling only served to hurt himself as Jia-Long leant down and grabbed his still functioning arm, snapping the bones on both sides of the elbow; before stomping on his head with his bare foot until the skull crashed and the man died.

Only one was left alive, and he called for the guards – whom were both in awe and fear of him – to imprison the _shinobi_ with the broken nose. He would talk to him later, the heir said, as he walked over to the guard whom was steadying a shaky Egill.

Two guards hurried over to the _shinobi_ with the broken nose and dragged him towards the prison cells below the stable house in the front yard, happy to no longer be in Jia-Long's eye sight. Their future emperor was a terror in a fair combat, but the very embodiment of horror in a battle of life and death. Eyes that only sought destruction; a frown that held no remorse; and hands stained by enemy blood; red just like his bare feet as they coloured the grass with his footprints after having crushed skulls and chests with them.

The image of him, dirty by the blood of his foes, lit by moonlight, would stay in Egill's memory for a long time. The guard who was helping him to stand after having released him of his gag and bound arms let go as Jia-Long approached, but although he wobbled Egill did not fall. He could tell that the other guards were stepping away, as if though fearing they would be next, but Egill remained as his fiancé approached him.

Was he scared? A question without an answer. He was not scared of his fiancé; that he knew. But if the monster before him was his fiancé or not, he could not tell.

When he was a mere step away from Egill Jia-Long stopped, and brought up a hand to caress the fair white skin of the prince's cheek. The blood smeared across it was attractive.

"J-Jia-Long", Egill said with a shaky and sick voice. It was the first time, if he recalled correctly, that he had ever used his name when addressing him directly. "_Are you... pain... hurt_?" He spoke Xiangese, as if though unsure if Jia-Long would understand him or not if he spoke his native tongue.

"Egill", Jia-Long replied. He brought his other hand to caress the back of Egill's head, dyeing the white hair red. "_I am fine. Are you_?" If he lied, Jia-Long would be mad.

"_No_..." Egill said, shaking his head, before leaning forward and resting it against Jia-Long's chest. Quickly the heir wrapped his arms around him to keep him standing. His beautiful Egill was hurt. He was sick. He was in pain. The agony this caused was comparable to none, and he did not move one inch from holding his fiancé, and smearing more blood with every stroke of his back.

He was intoxicated, and could not think clearly. In the middle of the night, before the five remaining guards, he leant down and kissed Egill on his lips. The prince, feverish and weak, kissed back softly.

On the balcony of his floor Yao looked down on the scene, the two kissing boys, with a dissatisfied scowl. What he had just witnessed proved just why he had chosen Jia-Long as his heir, and also the reason why he was unfit to rule. The guards would have to be killed – to be amongst the corpses that the _shinobi_ had caused – he would make sure of that in the morrow. He would also need to have a lecture to Jia-Long and Egill both, but how it would go was unclear.

He did wonder, however, when he saw the bodies of those Jia-Long had slaughtered; what would his heir think when he regained his senses? No matter how he acted, he was a mere 15 year old boy; these were his first kills. How gruesome and brutal they had been. Would Jia-Long look at them with pride, or regret? Finding out which would no doubt be amusing, but finding out what Egill thought, when he finally came over his shock, would be priceless.

In the morning, a red sun rose over the castle, and crows cawed happily at the amounts of flesh they could feast on; and soon they were given five more. A joyous time it was.

* * *

><p><em>Why anons? Why do you leave such wonderful reviews, but no way for me to thank you? Well, here is my attempt: thank you so very much!<em>

_A more brutal chapter. I struggled with it a lot, but I think it came out all right. Hopefully you do too._


	10. Filth, Love, Dirt

**Chapter Ten – Filth, Love, Dirt**

For the rest of the night Jia-Long had been unable to sleep. A servant, who had shrieked when she saw him covered in blood, had said that she would prepare a bath – but he had dismissed her. Shortly after sharing his first kiss with his fiancé Egill had collapsed, weighed down by illness, and so Jia-Long had carried him to his room. Egill would be staying at the sixth floor, now; with him. He would not allow anything else.

The poor prince was lying in his bed, blood still smeared across his cheek and clinging to his hair, with Jia-Long sitting next to it, watching silently. At dawn he left momentarily and had a servant get him a bowl of water and a towel, which he then wet and put on Egill's feverish and hot forehead. Even the towel came to be stained by red, since Jia-Long's hands were dirty still.

Outside of his room the early bird servants were cleaning up the bloody footsteps he had left from the floor, all in an eerie and uncanny silence. They had heard of what had happened just a few hours earlier, before the sun had risen; there had been a slaughter in the garden. The servants who could were happy to just be able to stay inside and clean up the stains on the floor; rather than having to discard of the bodies, like a select unlucky few.

Egill came to a few hours past breakfast. He started coughing halfway through his light yawn, and Jia-Long was quick to help him sit by placing a careful hand on the back of his head, and giving him a glass of water that he had prepared. As he sat the wet towel fell off his forehead and landed on his lap; but it took a while for Egill, who first had to quench his thirst and fight a burning throat; to see that there was something odd with it. The otherwise white clothing was sullied with blood, and as his eyes travelled to Jia-Long, he noticed that so was he. The image from last night, when Jia-Long was fresh off his kills, came back to him; and so his eyes widened in fear, and he pulled away from his fiancé's touch. The frown he was then shown made him wish he hadn't done that.

"Why did you withdraw?" Jia-Long asked with a stern voice. A voice that scared him.

"I…" Egill started to say, but ended his sentence there. Why had he pulled back? Because Jia-Long was terrifying. His strength, admirable at first, was horrifying, vile and repulsive. The fact that he was still smeared in blood spoke volumes of his cruelty, and the stench of death had followed them into the room. "Sorry", he mumbled, but it was almost inaudible as he began to cough again. This time he was unable to move away from Jia-Long's touch, when his hand was placed on his back and a glass of water was presented again. Egill drank from it when his attack was over, but was too frightened to say a thank you.

Jia-Long appeared thoughtful, but suddenly his face relaxed as he let out an "ah". "I see", he commented. "It's an aftershock, from what happened last night. Isn't that so?"

Indeed, Egill had been far too shocked and sick last night to react properly; now his fear finally manifested. He nodded.

"But relax, my love", Jia-Long said, with a cocky voice; not accompanied by a smirk this time. He placed a hand on Egill's unstained cheek and caressed it, soothingly so, and the prince was unable to look away when their eyes met. "The kidnappers are dead. You are safe."

With his words it all came clear to Egill; Jia-Long was without remorse. He had killed seven people, barehanded – even neglected to wash afterwards, as if proud of the bloodshed – but he did not regret doing so. Perhaps Egill was naïve, thinking that a life was a life, regardless of who the person was; a king, a street child or a criminal; but he had always felt that killing was wrong. Perhaps it was because he had grown up in poverty, with people dying left and right, that he valued life. Perhaps it was because his brother had taught him that no matter social class, everyone was still human, and deserved to live. Regardless of his reason, he felt that killing was wrong; and now he had learnt that his loving fiancé not only found killing to be good, but was also a brutal _murderer_.

But he couldn't bring himself to say this. What would happen, if Jia-Long decided that he was a bother? He didn't dare even think about it.

Weakly, he smiled to Jia-Long. "Thank you", he said. "For saving me." If he acted normal, maybe Jia-Long would as well.

"Of course", Jia-Long said. "I'll always save you." He leant closer, and placed a kiss to Egill's lips – their second one. Just the other day, Egill would have been thrilled to be able to kiss his fiancé without worrying of consequences. He would have eagerly kissed him back, forgetting everything else – just letting Jia-Long devour him lustfully, and respond in kind. His hands would be around Jia-Long's neck, their mouths would be open; and there would be no pausing, no turning back, and nothing but pleasure emitted by such acts.

But he couldn't. He couldn't return the kiss, not now. What he had felt towards Jia-Long – love, surely – was not as vibrant in his mind any more. He did not look at him and think "perfection" any longer, nor did he think "gentleness", nor "comfort". Now he could only focus on that horrid scene from last night – the terror, the fear – and the Jia-Long he knew; _his _Jia-Long; was not the same person as the man kissing him now.

"Egill", Jia-Long said softly. "What's wrong?" And he couldn't even tell that for Egill, everything was changed.

"Nothing", Egill promised. "But… isn't kissing… forbidden?"

"Your obedience to the Xiangese customs is admirable", said Jia-Long. "But we already broke them last night, with witnesses. Kissing in private shouldn't be more taboo." Egill was unable to comprehend all of the words Jia-Long was saying, as he was woozy from his sickness, but he understood one thing; to Jia-Long, kissing was no longer something they should refrain from doing. This should have thrilled him, but instead, it only caused him agony as Jia-Long kissed him yet again, and he now kissed back – purely for the sake of fooling his fiancé into thinking nothing was wrong.

Jia-Long noticed. How could he not? He had spent the last three months almost solely in Egill's company, and spent his very valuable time molding him to perfection. He had been so close, too; Egill had been so willfully ignorant of Xiang's true character, and so happy with him; but now it was all gone. In what way to lead Egill now, he did not know.

One option was to make Egill feel guilty for not opening up, which would lead him to pity Jia-Long instead; something that could lead him back into a stage of irrevocable love. This was an option to only use if none else worked, however; for he did not want Egill to think of him in such a poor light where pity would be needed.

The second option was trickier, and probably more exciting. It included lying and manipulation at a high level, and although he would have to sacrifice a few things for it; it should be worth his efforts. Without even going over the finer details in his mind he decided that was what he would do, and so regardless of how much he wanted to keep going, he ended the kiss.

Egill seemed shocked, but was soon interrupted by more coughing.

"Something is wrong", Jia-Long said. "You… you wish you hadn't ever come here."

Egill kept coughing, but managed to say "that's not true", proving that he had truly suppressed the fact that he was first taken to Xiang by force. It meant that he still loved the country, which was lucky for Jia-Long; he did not have to start over from scratch.

"Then what is wrong?" Jia-Long demanded. It pained him when Egill coughed, sounding so terribly sick, but he didn't move to help him this time. "Tell me."

Egill averted his eyes, appearing to be ashamed, but then spoke, with a raspy and sick voice. "You… I'm sorry, but… you killed them… you scared me… I'm so sorry."

"I saved you", Jia-Long said. His eyes were cold when they were upon his cowering fiancé. "I would do it again. Would you rather have them capture you?"

The expression of Egill's face was one of extreme guilt and misery, and was very hard for Jia-Long to ignore. He wanted to embrace him, kiss him and stroke his hair, tell him that he wasn't mad; make everything okay. Be the man Egill deserved. But he couldn't do that, no, he knew he didn't want a lover in Egill; he wanted a submissive doll; a pretty accessory. He had worked so hard to mold him; he couldn't throw that away now, no matter how tempting it was to just console the prince.

"No…" Egill mumbled. "I'm sorry… I didn't…" He started coughing again, violently, and Jia-Long realized that he couldn't stay in the room for another moment without bending over backwards to make Egill all right. He left the room, playing the bad guy as well as guilt tripping Egill with fringe logic, feeling rather annoyed about the sadness he was experiencing. What had happened to the Jia-Long who didn't care what Egill thought of him? Perhaps his plan was flawed, and it would be better to act nice…

No, he decided as he walked towards his bathing room, deciding to wash off the blood finally. Egill would have to learn not to think poorly of him, and come begging for forgiveness for ever doubting him. With his eyes closed, leaning against the wall as he waited for the servant he had called to fill up the bath, he tried to picture Egill's regret; that exquisite pain that was so beautiful on him; as it made his happiness fade in comparison. He knew he could not forever be with a miserable Egill, and his smile was truly beautiful as well; but it would do them both good to have the prince experience much pain as well in the coming years, as it would surely strengthen his feelings towards Jia-Long when he made it all better, and would also serve as pleasure for the perverted heir's sake.

The servant bowed his head and informed him that the bath was ready, and Jia-Long told him to leave. Once alone he stripped, throwing the dirty nightwear he had still been wearing in a corner, before relaxing his body into the hot water. It felt nice, but he couldn't help but wish Egill was there as well. He had smeared blood on Egill's face; surely the prince would be thankful if he washed it away.

The bathtub was round, and not very deep, but Jia-Long half-laid down in it, so that only his head was above the water surface. On the other side of the room on a small wooden table was the single source of light; a lit candle, burning down slowly. He could hear the sound of people moving in the hallway outside, but it soon fell quiet. He wondered if anyone would tend to Egill now that he was away, or if they were all too frightened.

Reaching up his left hand Jia-Long stroke his dry lips, wetting them in the process, and thought of his actions last night. He wasn't bothered by the killing; his fury towards the Jahonese was still not appeased; but he thought of the kiss shared. It had been amazing, kissing Egill, no matter how lame of a kiss it had been. Like he had known even before Egill's lips were very soft, and just the right size for his. Having been so close to his fiancé had made him happier than he thought possible, and when Egill did not resist he had been gladder still.

As he was far from stupid Jia-Long had identified that he indeed did have feelings for Egill beyond the possessiveness over a doll, but it did not bother him. His acts and lies would be even more convincing if he also meant parts of what he said; and promises that should only make the prince's knees weak would, with the right amount of conviction, make Egill melt into a puddle. Romanizing wasn't an area where Jia-Long had much experience, but he had observed secret romances between servants and guards – even two females – and so he knew how to act like a love-struck fool. Only doing so in the company of Egill would be harmless for his reputation, but vital to their relationship; and so he knew what he had to do.

Now he only had to wait for his plan to work; at any time would Egill, anchored by sickness and guilt, come to him and ask for forgiveness for his unwillingness to touch. He had just needed time to recover after the shock, and make amends with himself of his view of death. Eventually he would see that the brutal kills had been for the best; and his gratitude towards Jia-Long would blossom.

Jia-Long smiled, feeling confident, where he lay in the bath. Without even scrubbing his hands and feet the enemy blood that had clung to his body since the nightly slaughter washed away with the warm water, and he experienced no remorse; just like it should be.

x

After Jia-Long had been away for a while Egill rose from the bed, still plagued by his horrible coughing – at least happy he wasn't snotty, having Jia-Long see him like that would be embarrassing – and he moved towards the full body mirror in the room. His red stained cheek and his dirty hair made him feel sick in a completely different way, but he got the bowl of water with the towel and started to wash it away, scrubbing the solidified blood with disgust.

As the blood was washed away he came to a horrible realization; perhaps he had been wrong, thinking Jia-Long had ever been kind; perhaps he had only deluded himself into thinking Jia-Long was good-natured. From a lack of comfort he had projected a loving Jia-Long onto the cold killer that he was.

No, he quickly corrected himself; it hadn't been misinterpreted kindness. All of his actions, his genuine attitude proved that it wasn't faked care; Jia-Long was kind, but only towards him. This was the only mistake he had made, thinking that Jia-Long was good towards everyone, when he knew that he was not. Jia-Long was crude and cold; but not with Egill. With Egill he was gentle and loving; that was not a lie. So, Egill thought, perhaps he was the only person Jia-Long felt that he could be himself with? With Yao he needed to put up a strong front, and same with enemies, of course. Ever since he was only 13 he had been told repeatedly that he was to become the emperor of Xiang; and thus needed to make difficult decisions. Time to be nice, time to be himself; that was limited. But when they were alone, just the two of them, Jia-Long knew that he could relax and be his real self, for Egill was his safe haven.

Or so he had been. Egill had been bad; he had judged Jia-Long too harshly, without seeing his side. His fear was justified, yes, but it had been wrong of him to make out Jia-Long to be a monster, when that was so far from the truth. Unlike Egill Jia-Long had never been taught that killing was wrong; quite the opposite; so how could Egill judge him based on that? No one would scold a bird for flying, or a fish for swimming.

The indifference Jia-Long felt towards killing was a learnt behaviour; not something to detest him for. It was a flaw, but just like Egill's fragility it needed to be met with compassion, and not disgust. As his lover, Egill should be there to care for him; instead he had been repulsed and made Jia-Long upset with him. That was his fault.

What if Jia-Long, behind the blank expression, was also shocked, and scared, about what he had done? It must have been even harder on him.

The more he thought about it, the worse Egill felt; Jia-Long had killed seven people, he had broken Xiangese customs and kissed Egill; and then the one person he trusted shied away from his touch, and admitted to be frightened of him. Jia-Long must be devastated.

Determined to make this right, even though he was so sick, Egill made way towards the door, basically dragging his feet rather than walking to find his poor fiancé. For every step he took down the hall he had to stop and cough, leaning against the wall, but never falling down and resting. Although his legs were weak and his mind dizzy he knew that he needed to go to Jia-Long and apologize, and he needed to tell Jia-Long that he could trust him.

Eventually he reached the bathroom, after much struggle, and pressed himself up against the door. He thought he heard someone in there, and so he kneeled down, knocking on the floor.

"I said don't disturb me", Jia-Long snapped from the inside, sounding very harsh. He presumed Egill was a servant, perhaps, but it still made the prince feel unwanted. However, he knew he had to make things right, and so he slid the door open nervously, peeking inside.

Angered by having his bath interrupted Jia-Long was ready to threaten his servant, before he heard the weak though hard coughs coming from the open door, and he realized that Egill had come.

"Egill", he said, sounding shocked. In the doorway Egill rose to his feet, hands on the walls so he wouldn't fall, and he looked at Jia-Long meekly.

"I'm sorry", he said again. "I… I am not afraid of you, Jia-Long." Jia-Long remained silent, as Egill slid the door close and started to walk towards the tub, looking strictly at his face. His voice was very raspy, indicating that it was painful for him to speak; yet he continued. "Don't be mad… I overreacted. Can you forgive me?"

He reached the platform where the bath was in, and leant against the edge, pure in mind and not looking down to see Jia-Long's nudity in the clear water.

"… I'm sorry too", Jia-Long said, and he swam to the other side, resting his arms on the edge of the tub, oh-so close to his fiancé. Now clean he did not look as terrifying. "I scared you, but disregarded your fear… I should have consoled you instead. I'm sorry, Egill."

"I… think killing is wrong", Egill admitted. "And I think you are always so right. So I didn't know", he halted his sentence, coughing more, and then picking up where he left off with a clearer voice, "what to think. But I realized that you did what was best for Xiang. And what was best for me." He smiled weakly. "Like you always do."

Jia-Long could feel himself blushing, which worked well in his plan, even though it annoyed him just a bit. This immense confidence Egill had in him, the absurd level of trust; the blind faith; it was overwhelming. Everything he had wanted. And so his body acted on its own, and he extracted a hand, grabbing Egill's chin, and pulled him close. Even though Egill was sick they kissed still; a fourth kiss, so much better than all of the others, as Egill was just as eager as him.

After their kiss Jia-Long asked Egill to turn around so he could get out of the tub, and so it was the prince's turn to blush, as he obeyed. He closed his eyes when he heard Jia-Long get up from the water and wrap a towel around his hips. Soon two arms were wrapped around his waist, and Jia-Long kissed his neck.

"Egill", he muttered against his skin, just like a lover would. The embrace felt different from before, and Egill wished that he would never let go. Sometimes in Dankrieg he would find Lukas and king Mathias embracing or kissing in similar fashion, and he had always experienced a sense of jealousy; jealousy which was now unneeded.

The couple decided to have dinner together after Egill had also bathed, and so Jia-Long called a servant to refill and heat the tub, while he left to dress himself. Leaving Egill, sickly and frail, felt awful, but he fought against his desires to stay and soothe him, telling him instead that they would eat dinner together once Egill was properly clean.

That they were departing saddened Egill, but he did get one last kiss before Jia-Long left him – just after the servant who reheated the water had informed them that the bath was ready, and excused himself – and so he knew he couldn't be greedy. There was something special about Jia-Long this day, however, he pondered as he sank his naked body into the magnificent water. Somehow Jia-Long had managed to be even more tender, and in some way, it felt even more wonderful than it had done just a few days prior; to be touched by him. Their love was stronger than ever; that is how he felt.

After Egill was fully cleaned his coughing had settled down; mornings were usually the worst, and this cold didn't seem to be very persistent; and so his chambermaid had no problem dressing him in the lovely black and red _ruqun_ he decided on. She informed him that it looked dashing on him, and he thanked her, even though the compliment in Xiangese was new to him.

When dressed he looked stunning, and the evidence that he was still sick was known only to himself because of his sore throat; but it did not avert from his beauty, which Jia-Long complimented again and again. Their dinner was shared in the main dining room; consisting of pork and fried vegetables and rice; and was just as pleasant as any other dinners they had had. Egill fought his sickness to his best abilities, and only coughed in his sleeves, and there were no other interruptions as they ate.

The main dining room was not a place where Egill ate often; whenever he shared dinner with his fiancé they would eat in the temple of the garden, and when eating separately the main dining room was for Yao and Jia-Long, while Egill had the guest room to dine in.

In the middle of the room was a round table, with a total of twelve seats around it. Jia-Long and Yao would usually sit on opposite sides, as far away from each others as possible when they dined, but now Jia-Long and Egill sat side by side, with a shared view of the rest of the large table. From the ceiling hang an elegant lantern, reminding Egill almost of the chandeliers of Dankrieg, and all four walls were painted depicting a garden, which gave the room a feeling of serenity. From the beginning of his stay they captivated Egill, but the craftsmanship and art of Xiang was not new and exciting for him anymore; just an everyday luxury. That's not to say that he was ungrateful, for he knew that if he was to live in a stale Dankriegian castle again he would miss Xiangese art immensely; but now he had other things to occupy his thoughts. Jia-Long, his handsome fiancé, was far more captivating than any art Xiang had to offer.

During dinner they did not speak at all, and when they left they made way quickly towards the sixth floor again, and Jia-Long's chambers. A second bed had been placed next to his, but it was to be expected; and to be on the safe side they agreed to sleep separately come the following nights until marriage.

It was still much time until they should sleep, and Egill was too sick to fully enjoy a game, and so Jia-Long moved his bed towards the wall and sat down on it, leaning back, and letting Egill rest his head in his lap. They made small conversation while Jia-Long petted his hair and face with the outmost gentleness, and not once did Egill think of what the same hands now giving him comfort had done to extinguish seven lives.

"Jia-Long", Egill said shyly, the third time he had used his fiancé's name to his face, after they had both been silent for a while.

"What is it?" Jia-Long asked, still stroking the beautiful snowy hair on his lap.

"_We should… tal- speak Xiangese"_, Egill said in the aforementioned language, much more nervous than when talking to Yao, for a reason he did not comprehend.

"_Why?_" Jia-Long asked, though humouring him.

"_Because we live in Xiang_", Egill said. "_We… we should speak Xiangese. And I want to better_."

In his own little way Jia-Long really enjoyed speaking Egill's mother tongue, as not many others in Xiang spoke it at all. It was somehow their little made-up language in his mind. At the same time though, speaking Xiangese would make Egill even more _his_; once he discarded all of his past, only then was he truly in Jia-Long's clutches. A time when Egill didn't even recall anything about his brother, when he had forgotten how it was to live in Dankrieg; when all that he was consisted of what Jia-Long wanted him to be; that was a time to strive after. That Egill was willing to give up his language freely spoke volumes; and so, shouldn't Jia-Long, as a good fiancé, give in?

"_Want me to correct you whenever you say something wrong, then_?" asked Jia-Long.

"_Please_", Egill replied, and so Jia-Long leant down; planting a kiss at his lips; and smiled.

"_Sure; for you, I can do that_", he said. He knew that his Xiangese was more informal than Yao's, and Egill would be confused by the mixed signals, but if he was going to be fluent then he would have to understand slang as well.

For the next hour they kept conversing like before, only now a lot slower, and in Xiangese rather than the language they spoke in Dankrieg. They would pause from time to time when there was a word Jia-Long used that Egill did not understand, or when Egill mispronounced something, but after a while they were able to communicate without many pauses. On purpose Jia-Long used as few complicated words as he could, but it was a hard task as Yao had taught Egill how to say "exaggerated" but not simple words like "dark". However, it didn't matter much; he found that speaking Xiangese with Egill was much fun; perhaps mostly because his accent was utterly adorable. The way he over pronounced things, the way he struggled with "quing" and even "xaon" was very cute, and his too soft vowels made him almost sound sexual; something Jia-Long of course did not see a problem with. Perhaps that was why Yao had gained an interest in him after all of the Xiangese lessons?

They continued talking about Kwanyo, as they would be moving there shortly, in time for the tournament. Egill's birthday was just two weeks away also, and so Jia-Long asked him where he would rather spend it; in the castle, or in the palace at the capital?

"_Whatever you want_", Egill responded. "_Where do you like most?_"

"_Where do you like it the most_", Jia-Long corrected him gently. "_And… it's louder in Kwanyo, but I think you'll – you will – like it better there_", he said thoughtfully. Kwanyo was a harbour city after all, and so Egill would surely like it; he had mentioned how beautiful he had found the ocean to be.

"_Very well_", Egill smiled, leaning against the hand gently stroking his cheek. His position in Jia-Long's lap was lovely, he felt like he was in heaven; and he never wanted it to end; though he knew it would soon be time for bed.

But their time was interrupted when a servant called that the emperor was coming through the rice paper door, and they were forced to tear themselves away from each other. Egill, whom hadn't been coughing for a long period of time, again felt how his throat burned the moment he sat up, and started to cough just as the door slid open and Yao entered, looking very authoritarian. He looked down on the sitting boys with eyes of a parent, which should install fear or shame in them.

"_Yao, it's late_", Jia-Long said indifferently; not as affected by the way Yao was looking at them as the sick Egill was. "_What are you doing here_?"

"_I saw the two of you last night_", said Yao. "_Kissing. With an audience no less. Whatever were you thinking_?" He looked sternly from Egill, who was cowering in shame, to Jia-Long; who stared back defiantly.

"_I was protecting the castle and all of us from disaster_", he said. "_Aren't you even going to thank me, Yao_?"

"_You did your duty. No one compliments a farmer for harvesting, nor a sailor for sailing_", Yao responded curtly. "_But one apologizes for misbehaving. I had to get rid of four good men today, your witnesses, because of your poor actions_." The wording he used was such that Egill did not understand he had meant that they were dead; simply fired. Jia-Long was thankful for that; he did not need Egill to get upset over more deaths, not now.

"_I apologize_", Jia-Long said, bowing his head. "_We will not repeat our mistake_." He did not wish to start a fight; it would be best just to get it over with.

After coughing, Egill also bowed his head down even more. "_I apologize_", he said. He was unable to lie like Jia-Long did, and so he was silent instead.

"_Good_", Yao said. "_Now make sure the two of you get enough sleep, tomorrow we are leaving for Kwanyo_."

"_Already_?" asked Jia-Long. "_But the tournament doesn't start-_"

"_Don't speak out of turn_", Yao responded quickly. "_Due to the unfortunate events of last night I have decided that we need to move, and so we are leaving to the more guarded palace in Kwanyo. I will have no objections_." His sudden hostility annoyed Jia-Long, and scared Egill, but with those words Yao departed, and left them alone once more.

Perhaps to spite him Jia-Long kissed Egill as soon as the door was shut, and though fearful of Yao, Egill kissed back. He didn't quite recognize his tutor, and that worried him; although he knew that Yao was always much harsher when Jia-Long was involved. Perhaps during the trip to Kwanyo they could reconcile? He certainly didn't like feeling that Yao was mad with him.

But then again, he supposed when Jia-Long kissed him once more, he didn't really need Yao. All that mattered to him was Jia-Long, who now kissed him so tenderly. Someone who comforted him, someone who protected him, someone who was honest with him, someone who kissed him and someone who loved him; what more could he ask for? He had all he needed in his fiancé.

Just like Jia-Long had planned.

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><p><em>I've suffered from a slight writer's block, but I finally managed to complete this chapter today. To get into the mood of writing The Thistle Emperor I always watch "Mulan", and that gets me in the mood.<em>

_Due to being complicated I was unable to respond to most of the reviews left on last chapter, and I'm so sorry for that. I promise to resond to all reviews as usual from now on. _


	11. Monologue of the Fallen

_**IMPORTANT: **__From this chapter and onwards all conversation will be held in Xiangese, unless stated otherwise. Thusly it will not be in italics anymore._

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><p><strong>Chapter Eleven – Monologue of the Fallen<strong>

There was still so much of Xiang that Egill had not seen, but as they travelled by horse and carriage from the castle towards Kwanyo, over the ravines and down the sloping mountain side, next to green hills and meandering rivers, rice fields, farms and towns Egill's focus was not to the beauty outside, but upon his fiancé, whom had gotten sick. Jia-Long hadn't had any experience of transferring a sickness via kissing, and no one had even told him what should be obvious, and so he had no one but himself to blame for having caught Egill's cold.

Still Egill felt that it was his fault, and so he spent his time nursing Jia-Long. In the limited area he could do little, while on the road, other then put his arm around Jia-Long, wrap the blankets even closer around his body and whenever they made a stop, get him water, herbal tea and food. He would bring a bowl of soup back into their carriage and feed Jia-Long every time it was time to eat, but while Jia-Long had felt very pathetic from the start, he had come to enjoy being pampered.

"You don't have to, uhm… worry", Egill had said. "You don't always need to be strong." He had smiled so gently towards him then, that Jia-Long could not with a good conscience resist the nursing.

Egill had assessed correctly; Jia-Long had felt embarrassed, and weak, being the sick one. He had feared that Egill's opinion of him would waver; that he would no longer view Jia-Long as flawless and capable. On the contrary, he noticed that Egill seemed rather happy to be the one to take care of him, for a change. It probably made him feel useful, and that was only a positive. Jia-Long started planning what he could do with it; say he was tired, so Egill could attend to his needs; say he was exhausted, so Egill could massage him; say he was feeling lustful, so Egill could please him. The latter would become effective only after marriage, but there was nothing wrong with planning ahead.

This silent agreement was fair on both parties, Jia-Long thought. Egill got to feel useful, and Jia-Long had a perfect servant whom he could use for his pleasure without shame or guilt.

After four days of travelling Jia-Long finally started to feel better, and could leave the carriage for the first time. He had admittedly played sicker than he was to enjoy the nursing, but the fourth day was when his throat was no longer sore at all. Egill had stayed inside to keep him company at all time, except for when fetching food, and of course he also joined Jia-Long outside by the lunch stop.

Next to the road they travelled by were endless green hills, forming what seemed like a dragon's back in the horizon. Before them were green beautiful fields, and the guards were putting down tables and seats for the royalty, while the chefs and servants they had brought cooked their lunch. Jia-Long grabbed Egill's hand and gently tugged him along, as they skipped over a small trench towards the outdoors dining space. Egill was carrying a teal umbrella, matching with his butterfly printed _chang-ao_ dress. He needed to be protected from the sun, he was too fragile to be burned – that was Jia-Long's worried reasoning that he had explained to Egill whenever Egill wished to go outside. Although he used to be saddened by this, he was also flattered that Jia-Long was so caring, and he knew that if he really wanted to he could go without the umbrella and Jia-Long would not be mad. It was for his own good, so why should he not?

Jia-Long asked for a rug, and was given one of bamboo, that that he unrolled atop the field on a slight slope, so that they could sit down. They did so, quite close to each other of course, and Egill rested his head against Jia-Long's shoulder, bringing the umbrella to shade them both.

Before them was a glorious view; the hillside they were seated on continuing into a dark pit, only to rise up again to form another, much larger, hill covered in large trees so green that the grass turned jealous. The sky above them was clear and free of clouds, creating the perfect summer day, with a sun as dazzling as a diamond. It was thus good that they had the umbrella, or they would have been blinded by its light; now they were free to look wherever they wished.

Behind them Yao had sat down by the table, which was placed under the shadow of a tree. He saw the backs of the young couple and frowned; their public affection was a trying of his patience. He felt that no matter what he did now Egill was far too brainwashed to even see someone beside for Jia-Long, and thought that it perhaps would be in his best interest to give up. The jealousy he was experiencing wasn't befitting an emperor; he should just admit defeat gracefully; it wasn't a big loss, after all. Admittedly, Egill had made him feel happier than he had been in a long while, but perhaps their relationship as teacher and pupil was enough to satisfy his middle life crisis; his cry for validation.

It was bitter, the taste of losing, but he knew that it was something every person had to deal with. A person who did not know what it was like to fail was a person who lived in sloth and fear of the unknown; a coward who never tried anything new. Even the smug faced Jia-Long would have to deal with loss, and failure. For the sake of Xiang Yao could only wish that his failures would not affect the country; that they would be minimal, insignificant, and easy to deal with; such as this loss he was experiencing himself. However, Yao was afraid that it wouldn't be so. Looking over at the young couple, so obviously in love with each other, he feared that Jia-Long would overreact terribly if he made a mistake with Egill – or if Egill was to be harmed. Something seemingly unimportant he could turn into the cause of war if it involved his beloved fiancé; that was a truth Yao had realized.

Though Jia-Long was too stubborn and conceited to admit flaws Yao knew that there was much still he did not know, and the ignorance was dangerous. It made him unfit to rule; making him only an emperor of those crude weeds he had seen growing in Dankrieg. He was the emperor of thistle, at best.

It was a troubling matter, indeed. Although so young, before going to Dankrieg Yao had thought that Jia-Long was capable of ruling. Despite his spoiled ways he was strong, loved by the people; and most importantly, emotionless. Jia-Long would only change his expression when putting someone down, or when fighting; then he would smirk. He had been perfect, for his emotions never ruled him – even though he was a teenager. He had had the indifference towards death of a traumatized soldier, and the cruel disdain towards weakness as the leader of the world needed to have. Though far from pleasant, he had had qualities suitable for his destiny.

But he had changed. He paid less and less attention to Yao's lectures, and he neglected all of his duties for Egill's sake. He had grown from being selfish to becoming dangerously absorbed by his fiancé, and that meant that Xiang would suffer.

Forcing them apart would be the best action, hypothetically, but looking over at them; being so inseparable; Yao knew that this would be impossible – and if possible, then only more harmful. Jia-Long might not have realized it, but he was just as trapped into the happy sphere of love as Egill was; and it mattered not who had chained them together in the first place; for neither party had a key. The ultimate and sole way to separate them was with the death; but as they were tied so closely this would only mean dragging the other down with him.

Yao was facing a horrible dilemma, and as usual there was no one intelligent enough to discuss with. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, pausing the world around him to fade into a state of clear thinking and unconsciousness.

By the hillside the world was moving, however, at least part of it. The wind swayed the grass before them ever so slightly, but was not forceful enough to howl. The trees were firm and standing tall, and though they heard distant birds and the sounds of chefs cooking and servants putting the table Jia-Long and Egill somehow felt that they were all alone.

A praying mantis suddenly jumped onto the rug they were seated on, and the size of it made Egill startle, but Jia-Long instead extended his hand and grabbed it; and somehow it did not attempt to escape.

"I used to catch these all the time", Jia-Long said, and opened his hand close to Egill, who now did not fear the large bug. "When I was a kid", Jia-Long explained, while the mantis sat calmly in his palm, looking up at the prince.

"Really?" Egill asked; smiling, as he loved to hear about Jia-Long. Especially his past; he wanted to know what it had been like for Jia-Long growing up.

"Yes", Jia-Long replied. "My house had an enormous, big, garden, and there would be many of these – mantises – there. My sister and me would compete in who could gather the most." He sounded happy, Egill thought, speaking of his sister. He never spoke of her, not really, and so Egill had assumed that their relationship wasn't very strong. Perhaps it hurt Jia-Long to talk about her. Being separated for three years must have taken its toll on him.

"That sounds nice", Egill confirmed.

"It was", Jia-Long said. "Did you do anything like that with your brother?" He was curious to see what reaction Egill would have if Lukas was brought up, and was not very surprised to see Egill suddenly frown.

"Not really", he said. It sounded like he was trying to cover up for something, Jia-Long thought, and he let the mantis go so he could cup Egill's cheek.

"I'm sorry", he said. "I shouldn't have brought him up… it's still fresh, isn't it? That you chose to leave him."

"No", Egill said. "It's not that… it was my choice", he repeated the lie. "But… I need to…"

Suddenly, a small _gong_ was heard, and they turned to see that lunch was served. Egill did not continue with his sentence, and so Jia-Long stood, and helped him to his feet, and they walked hand in hand to the set table. It was square, and not very large, so they could not sit next to each other. Thusly Jia-Long sat down opposite Yao, with Egill stuck in the middle. He folded the umbrella and placed it next to his seat before sitting down and bowing his head, like Jia-Long did, before Yao announced that they could eat.

It was rice they ate, alongside soy sauce and chicken. Like the other meals had been during their trip to Kwanyo it was clearly not as advanced as the food served in the castle, but it was good still to Egill, and he ate hungrily.

After lunch when the servants cleared the table, the chambermaid from Egill's room – whom Yao had decided to take along – served them tea. Egill liked her; Huang Shu, as she was named; for she was always happy to help him dress, and always seemed pleased to see him. Most of the servants treated him well of course, but never seemed to have much respect for a foreigner like him; Shu was different.

"I have made a decision", Yao announced as they drank their tea. Jia-Long looked at him indifferently, but Egill at least seemed interested in what he was about to say. "Since Jia-Long hasn't cared for his duties it is my only choice." Yao's look darkened, but Jia-Long didn't flinch.

"Your highness", Egill said softly. "What did Jia-Long do?"

"Don't worry", Jia-Long told him, placing his hand atop Egill's on the table. "I've just spent more time with you. Old Yao's jealous."

"I am concerned", Yao corrected. "You are not fit to rule, Jia-Long."

"Oh?"

"I am serious", said Yao. "You've been too absorbed by your fiancé to study, and you constantly prioritize spending time with him over training to become an emperor."

Many of the words he used Egill did not understand, but like usual he connected the words he did know, and based his assumption on what they had said based on that. Now it seemed to him like Yao was implying that Jia-Long was with him rather than studying to become an emperor; and that made him feel-

"Stop it Yao, you're just trying to guilt Egill, aren't you?" Jia-Long said; his voice suddenly colder. "If you're upset with me, don't take it out on him-"

"Enough!" yelled Yao, and he suddenly stood. "You ungrateful brat!" He had never yelled at Jia-Long in public, and he realized quickly that it had been a bad move; the servants staring were too many to just get rid of discreetly. He couldn't let them doubt Jia-Long – what if word spread across Xiang that their next emperor – the heir to the throne – was someone Yao thought was useless. "I will not resign before you're married!" Yao yelled, convincingly, and he stormed off, back to his carriage.

Egill and Jia-Long stared after him, both shocked, though the prince was also frightened. Jia-Long hugged his hand then, and made him calm down.

Although Jia-Long wouldn't say that he liked Yao he did have to admit to himself that he was fairly impressed with the acting. Yao had lost his temper, but upon realizing how damaging it could be to have people doubt Jia-Long, had played it off to make himself look like the bad guy. A noble act, surely.

Egill was about to ask what it was all about, but Jia-Long shushed him, saying that he would explain in the privacy of their carriage. Of course, Egill realized; he was not supposed to address Jia-Long directly, unless he was spoken to, in public.

The calm that tea should bring had already been disturbed by Yao, and so there was no point for them to linger. Jia-Long and Egill walked back towards their carriage, under the teal umbrella, but a guard walked up to them and bowed his head, saying that the emperor had requested his heir to ride with him for a while. This aggravated Jia-Long, and saddened Egill, but he had no choice but to go.

After the servants had tidied up after the lunch stop they were on their way again with the carriages moving. In total there were five, each driven by two horses each, as well as twenty free horses ridden by armed guards. The first carriage was Yao's, the second one was for his four top council members; whom travelled with him wherever he went; the third was Jia-Long and Egill's, the fourth was for the royalty's clothes; and the fifth for the seven servants and two chefs they had brought from the castle in the mountain. Though they were so many, Egill felt lonely now without Jia-Long. He wished that Yao would not scold him for too long; he wanted to be beside him again; but he knew that it was selfish to wish so.

What Yao had said was correct; he knew that Jia-Long had spent too much time with him, and no matter what his fiancé said that did make him feel guilty. Jia-Long was going to become the emperor of this great land; he could not afford to constantly cuddle and satisfy Egill's need of attention. Egill just wished there was a way he could help him, in any way…

x

"I apologize for my outburst", Yao said calmly to his nephew, whom was seated on the other side in the carriage, with his arms folded over his chest.

"It was a nice save", Jia-Long commented. "Who knew someone like you could act?"

Yao smiled. "You would be surprised, Jia-Long. You are still so naïve." Jia-Long did not like being called that, and he immediately frowned, something that had little effect on Yao. "You were wrong, earlier", Yao said. "I was not meaning to make Egill feel guilty."

"You did", Jia-Long said.

"My attempt was not to discourage him", Yao said. "Listen to me, for a change. You act like you no longer want to be my heir."

There was silence from Jia-Long, but after a while he did speak. "I do", he said. "I do want to be the emperor of Xiang, Yao."

"Then why do you not act like it?" Yao questioned.

"Egill", Jia-Long said. He sounded like he was ashamed almost, Yao thought.

"Do not fret", said the emperor. "Jia-Long, I will not separate you. I have come up with a solution for your problem." Jia-Long looked at him, sceptically, and Yao could not fault him. He was but a teenager, after all; he was not very good as seeing things outside of his box. A master manipulator, yes, but not wise. He was not Yao. "I will simply have to educate Egill as well", said Yao. "To become an emperor."

"No", Jia-Long said as soon as he heard the proposal. "We will not have two equal emperors of Xiang. I am going to be the ruler, and Egill-"

"Jia-Long", said Yao, again feeling his temper rise. "Stop it with your assumptions. You will be the emperor, but Egill will be educated to be fit to rule by your side. On the outside, you will decide and be in charge, but he will be fit for you to ask advice of. I know that you will not listen to any advisor, or have a council, but perhaps you will actually listen to him."

How foolish he was, thought Jia-Long about the suggestion. As if though Egill would hold an opinion that he had not planted there.

"Regardless of what you do", Yao continued. "I will include both of you during meetings from now on. That way, at least you attend them, and unlike you Egill has a drive to learn; and that will serve you well."

Suddenly, Jia-Long realized that was very true. Egill was good with gathering knowledge, and memorizing facts; clearly this concerned everything from self-defence to geography and Xiangese. So perhaps, it would be good; having Egill learn alongside him. Shifting the burden, so to speak.

However, it would make him dependent on Egill, and he didn't want that, but... perhaps he already was. Thinking about him, he realized that he was missing Egill now, terribly. He wanted to be with him much rather than Yao; always. Clearly Yao was onto something.

"All right", he said. "We'll do that."

Finally, thought Yao; Jia-Long had let go of his pride to accept help from him. It was a rare sight, and he decided to memorize it well; not to remind Jia-Long of it, but for his own sake; like the torn up letter from Egill to Lukas, that he had taken with him to Kwanyo.

With plans made up Jia-Long wished to return to his carriage; to Egill; but Yao advised him not to. They were not stopping until dusk, and then reaching Kwanyo later that evening. He asked Jia-Long for patience, but it was a useless ; since he wouldn't stop Jia-Long opened the door as they were moving, and grabbed the top of the door frame so he could swing his body up, until that he was on the carriage roof. The guards, riding on the horses next to the carriage, looked to him in surprise, as the heir jumped to the roof of the second carriage; scaring the council members in the process.

Yao reached out and slammed the carriage door close, grumbling in annoyance. It was a good thing that his men admired Jia-Long's physique, rather than gossip of how mad the heir to the Xiangese throne was.

When Jia-Long reached his carriage he crouched over the door and pulled it open, before swinging inside and closing it in the process. Egill startled before him, but upon seeing that it was no one else but his fiancé broke out smiling, and locked his arms around Jia-Long's neck when he smiled back. He took the seat next to Egill, with his arm safely resting around his frame.

From experience, Egill knew better than to ask Jia-Long about what he and Yao discussed, even though he was very curious. He hoped that Jia-Long wasn't in trouble, but the words Yao had used during their short tea time had worried him. Therefore, he was much surprised when Jia-Long told him on his own accord.

Though it took a while to explain exactly what it was that Yao wanted – for Egill to participate during meetings, and learn of matters like a council member – Jia-Long managed to convey it eventually, strictly in Xiangese.

"You want me to... rule with you?" Egill asked, staring wide-eyed into the gaze of his fiancé's. "But... I thought I was meant to..." Be a passive spouse, he wished he could say, but his Xiangese failed him. Luckily, Jia-Long was so very intelligent; he could tell that he did not need to elaborate.

"I know", Jia-Long said. "It's not ideal... But it means that we will never have to be separated", he explained, as he stroke Egill's cheek. "And I need you. You're smart, Egill. You can help me memorize – remember – everything essential."

Egill closed his eyes and leant into the touch. "Helping you", he said. "Would make me very happy."

Sometimes Jia-Long wondered what the disagreeable Egill he had met in the castle of Dankrieg would have thought if he saw the now compliant prince, so content with being his. Would he have tried to talk sense into his future self, would he have been disgusted, or would he have reasoned that there must be a cause for the soft nature Egill had adapted?

The answer was one he would never learn, despite his ponderings. After all, that Egill was long gone; erased. Jia-Long had not taken enough time to know him, to know what he would have done. So it shouldn't matter.

But what would Queen Lukas think? What would he think if he set his eyes upon this scene; where the bane of his misery was embracing his younger brother, who willingly leant into his touch, and gazed at him with the eyes of a worshipper? Plain sadism made Jia-Long want to find out; he reckoned it would be much fun to see Lukas break down when he realized that Egill was so happy. They would be able to call him selfish, then, and Egill would defend Jia-Long against Lukas' accusations of his horrible persona.

"Do you want your brother at our wedding?" he asked Egill, later on the ride, when they had made peace with the decision Yao had made.

Egill flinched. "Did he ever", he started awkwardly. "Write me back?"

The letter never delivered. Jia-Long had forgotten about that... but it would bring needless anger, if he told Egill what Yao had done. He had planned on bringing up that Yao had torn the letter in two, if Egill ever came to be closer to Yao than him; but that was something that obviously was not happening. He would let Yao get off easy, this time.

"Egill, it's no telling that the letter was even delivered", Jia-Long said. "Much could have happened to the messenger sent; he could have been killed, perhaps by the Jahonese. All I know is that he never returned." It left a bitter taste in Jia-Long's mouth, having covered for Yao; he would make sure to bring it up the next time they clashed.

"Oh", Egill mumbled. "I see..." Jia-Long cupped his chin, and placed a soft kiss on his lips.

"You can write another letter", he said. "In Xiangese of course... we'll have a translator come along with the messenger, so your brother will understand." Due to the context, clever Egill figured out what the word "translator" meant, and he shone up.

"I can?" he asked. "You don't have to do that..."

He was right. There was no real benefit for Jia-Long to have him send another letter to Lukas; absolutely none. Egill was already happy and madly in love; he was already trapped in the cobweb the manipulative spider had spun; past the point of salvation. So why should he give him a connection outside of him; why should he grant Egill this external happiness?

Because it made Egill happy. That was the sole reason for this altruistic act; he realized this at once. He probably loved him for real.

"I know", Jia-Long replied. "But I don't see why not." Egill kissed him on his mouth – taking the initiative for once – again and again, and not stopping until he was all out of kisses, at which point he simply rested his head against Jia-Long's chest, and nuzzled against him dreamily.

"Thank you", he whispered.

"You're welcome", Jia-Long replied.

After this point, both boys remained silent. Egill's mind was full of thoughts of what to write Lukas; he wanted so dearly to tell him how happy he was; and that he was getting married! And he wanted to tell Lukas not to be sad that his baby brother had moved out, but rejoice instead by the news of his upcoming wedding, and how good his Xiangese was after only a near four months. Jia-Long would have to help him write it, of course, or at least check over his shoulder to make sure that his Xiangese was correct. It would be awkward if the translator got something wrong; something that could change the entire meaning of the letter.

Perhaps it was a bit odd that he should write in Xiangese rather than his mother tongue where a translator would be unneeded; however, Egill was intelligent enough to see why. Just like he was speaking only in Xiangese now he had to write only in Xiangese; that was the best way to learn the language. He had to forget his old language to make room for the new one; that was the simple case.

Lukas face in his memory had started to fade, truth to be told. He knew that his brother was blonde and had dull blue eyes, but that also described many people of Dankrieg. He knew that his brother was taller than him, but was he taller than Jia-Long? Probably a bit. He wasn't muscular, but he wasn't as skinny as Egill either... and... he parted his hair to the left, held apart by a golden barrette – no, wait, was it to the right? His memory failed him.

Did Jia-Long remember his sister? His father? Asking that so out of the blue seemed tactless, and so Egill kept his mouth shut. They would be meeting them soon anyway, during the tournament. Egill was nervous, but then he felt Jia-Long, whose arms were around him still, stroking his back. It soothed his worries like only the touch of Jia-Long could, and he lost track of his trail of thoughts. He would never get tired of the feel of Jia-Long's flawless body; that was impossible. A chest, strong by training, yet wonderful to lean against; arms toned to battle, yet only protective around him; hands stained by killing, yet so gentle when caressing Egill; a temple to worship.

As he mused about Jia-Long's strength Egill suddenly remembered the scene from that night, less than a week ago. He recalled his fear, the blood, the dirt and the filth. Even now he felt scared when he saw the picture of a blood smeared Jia-Long before him; but then told his mind; think of the love. So much stronger and vibrant than his fear was the feeling of love, and so he calmed down, and reminded himself that Jia-Long had done that to save him; and the rest of the Xiangese royalty. He had protected millions of people by saving himself and Yao; and thus, it was a sacrifice that had been worth making.

"Egill", Jia-Long said softly, since he sensed that Egill was sleepy. It wasn't strange; he had nursed Jia-Long so well for the last days that his own sleep had been compromised. But he was quite sure that Egill wanted to see this. "You can see Kwanyo in the horizon", he said, which made Egill sit up rather quickly. He pulled the curtain away, and looked out; the evening dark was upon them, but he could see Kwanyo clearly; lit up beautifully. "Since it's Yao's return", Jia-Long says. "There will be a parade tonight."

A parade! That sounded exciting; he recalled during one Xiangese lesson with Yao when the emperor had elaborated to him what a parade implied, and how they went about. He wasn't a party person by any means, but he knew that neither was Jia-Long, and so he was sure not to be forced to do something he would rather avoid doing.

Kwanyo was larger than any city he had seen, supposedly connected to the water; he could not even see the ocean from his view, as the city stretched further still. There were buildings both tall and modest, with the black tile roofs of the castle they had left, but also open spaces for gardens and squares; and a river flowing through. He could not make out individual sources of light, but the entire capital appeared to sparkle. And like he had done when they first reached Xiang together Jia-Long placed a kiss on Egill's cheek and said, this time in Xiangese, and this time in complete honesty;

"Welcome to Kwanyo, my love."

* * *

><p><em>Yao has become my favourite character in this. He is very fun to write, and I think I have the most sympathy for him. What about you, my wonderful readers? <em>

_Thank you for your support, as always._


	12. Lost Morality

**Chapter Twelve – Lost Morality**

Despite seeing Kwanyo in the horizon – shining only brighter as the sky darkened, the moon not showing itself as it was behind clouds – the emperor's party made yet another stop right before the capitol; by a salon right outside. Jia-Long, Egill and Yao all left their carriages and stepped inside, together with Egill's chambermaid Shu and an attendant of Yao's, where they were greeted by nine bowing women welcoming them, alongside the salon's owner the madam. They were to be prepared for the parade; a welcoming from Kwanyo of their beloved emperor, his heir, and the heir's new fiancé; whom had not yet made any noteworthy public appearance.

They were separated by the ladies in the salon, who would dress them individually. The process was nothing new for Egill; only increased, now with four women dressing him rather than one, and without being allowed to assist them in any way.

It was quite an intriguing process for him still, as they would not let him move at all, just be completely still as they gussied him up to a point where vanity could not be faulted. He had yet spoken a word; for he was a bit wary of them, and practiced the art of silence that was expected of him; and so they seemed to assume that he could not speak Xiangese. When they sent away Shu to bring them his clothes after washing his body he heard them speak amongst each other; saying things they wouldn't dare to do in front of his chambermaid; or him, if they thought he could understand them.

"So master Jia-Long really will marry this thing then?" said one of the ladies as she forcefully combed his tousled hair. "A foreigner?"

"Oh Yun", said another. "You are just like my brother. Love is all that matters, foreigner or not." In the mirror Egill saw her smile, but he feigned ignorance.

"Not for the heir to the throne", said Yun, but the third lady had another point of view.

"What are you even saying? You think that they are in love? It's obvious looking at this thing", she said. "Master Jia-Long found an exotic doll to put in pretty clothes. That's all there is to it."

Her words were so bold that they shocked Egill, but also so tactless that he felt disgust. Anger did not brew in him as he sat in front of the mirror, surrounded by these three gossiping ladies, who all talked about things they could not possibly understand. He would not hold a grudge against their harsh words; surely, they came from a place of jealousy.

The second lady; the only one who had stood up for his case thus far; spoke again after she had let the words sink in. "Perhaps", she said. "Perhaps master Jia-Long just thinks this thing is a doll… he's certainly pretty. If only his hair was longer so we could do something with it."

Those final words, complaints on his looks, made Egill feel that he should speak up. He knew that Jia-Long would want him to; and staying silent went against the teachings of Dankrieg, as well. As a peasant – and an orphan of the streets – disrespect was common, and something one had to cope with. As royalty it was something he could not allow; especially not to his face. Being assertive was something he had always struggled with, but this was what Jia-Long wanted, and so he convinced himself he could do it-

-wait, what if he had misunderstood what they were saying? Was his Xiangese truly reliable enough for him to accuse them for treason? But Egill's doubt was temporary when he realized that it was better to be safe than sorry.

Shu returned and so the ladies were silent again, until he was fully pampered and dressed in a bright vermillion and blue _diyi_; a dress he had never worn before. He had seen it in illustrations Yao had showed him however, on empresses of the past. This garment was new and never before worn; he could feel it from the texture.

His hair – no matter how displeasingly short it was to the ladies – was decorated by a blue rose barrette. Since long had he forgotten of masculinity and the pride he should feel; pride that would have been tarnished when looking at himself in the mirror now; and so his reflection was a happy one; telling him only that Jia-Long would surely like what he saw.

Being done – last of all – Egill went to leave the room before the ladies whom had helped him; but recalled, then, what they had discussed earlier. He wished that it could be long forgotten, but alas, despite pitying them for being foolish and speak of things they clearly knew nothing of; he could still feel hatred towards them, for having insulted his relationship with Jia-Long. And so, he turned around before exiting, and they bowed their heads as they should, but he cared little for it.

"For your own sake", he said, making sure to sound as clear as possible so that the meaning of his words would not go missed. "I would advise you to beg for my fiancé's forgiveness. He would not take kindly to having our relationship insulted." With every word his confidence wavered, but never shattered. He could not imagine himself threatening people like this, but if it was for Jia-Long's sake then he could do anything.

Shu appeared confused, having not heard them earlier, but the ladies' horror was easily read off their predictable faces. Since they did not speak Egill decided to teach them another lesson, and so he continued. "I am to marry the future emperor of Xiang. Why would I not know Xiangese?"

Only after he was done did he realize what a grave mistake that could have been; what if now his reputation was damaged; and he became painted as a hostile foreigner, who used his position to intimidate the poor native Xiangese people? What if Yao became upset with him now?

The second lady, who had complained about his hair, was the courageous one to speak up. "I humbly apologize, sir", she said and bowed nervously. "We meant no disrespect-"

There was a knock outside of the door, before it was slid open, by Yao's attendant, whom had come to see if everything was ready. Egill answered that he was done, and the nervous ladies followed him into the hall of the salon, where Jia-Long and Yao were waiting for him.

Yao, as the emperor, was clad in a scarlet _chaofu_, and his hair was in a tight knob on his head; covered by a Xiangese crown that Egill had so far not seen on him. The beads of jade instilled a sense of importance, and told of the emperor's great power. Egill was anxious for a day when Jia-Long – his then husband – would be the one to wear it.

Speaking of the devil; Egill's attention was largely focused on Jia-Long, of course, when he saw him. For once he did not have a single strand of hair out of place; but it was all pulled back, and gathered in a knot enveloped by a small crown on gold. It made his features sharper, and he looked older; and highly desirable. He wore a red and golden _yuanlingshan_, as always preferring the narrow sleeves cuffs, and when meeting Egill's look he smiled softly. Being the understanding man that he was, he quickly saw in Egill's eyes that something was amiss; certainly something concerning the nervous attendants behind him.

Egill bowed as he had been taught to do – flawless as usual, Jia-Long thought proudly – until Yao signalled him raise his head. The attendants were still on their knees with their heads bowed down, but unlike the women who had assisted himself and Yao, Egill's attendants were not perfectly still and calm.

The prince made his way over to the other royals, whom were ready to leave, but before they did Jia-Long spoke. He could tell that Egill had something on his mind; presumably about the nervous attendants, but the prince knew that it was not his place to speak first, unless addressed.

"Egill, is something wrong?" he asked, with his eyes solely upon his beloved fiancé, whom appeared to be very troubled. Jia-Long didn't like that look.

Egill knew that it was already too late to back out on what he had told the ladies attending to him, but if they were put in jail he didn't think he would experience any guilt; they had insulted both him and his Jia-Long after all.

As he spoke, all attention befell on him; Yao, the madam in charge of the salon, on her knees beside the exit door, the nine workers at the salon – also all on their knees with their heads bowed down alongside the wall, with Shu and Yao's personal attendant next to the madam, and five armed guards behind the emperor's party; they were all listening.

"The… women serving me", Egill started, careful with his choice of words. His Xiangese needed to be flawless, like when he had threatened them; how else could he be taken seriously? "They insulted you", Egill finished.

The women looked like they wanted to protest, but they were wise enough not to speak out. And so Egill continued.

"They believed I couldn't Xia- couldn't understand Xiangese", Egill said, sadly with his head bowed down; technically, he was of lower status than Jia-Long after all; and this was necessary in public. "And so… they insulted our relationship." He hated that he had stuttered, and messed up slightly, but no one else seemed to mind.

Jia-Long looked to Yao, but there was no need; Yao had heard enough.

"Insulting my heir", he said loud and clear. "Is insulting me. Insulting me, is insulting Xiang." The madam of the salon looked almost more nervous than the three ladies, Egill noted; and he wondered what she feared. After all, she hadn't been a part of it.

"Do you know the penalty for treason?" Yao asked, not waiting for an answer; they were not allowed to speak to the emperor. "Death." One of the ladies whimpered, but the first one – Yun – spoke out; with the mindset of a person who had nothing to lose.

"Please, your highness, I-"

"Hold your tongue, peasant", called Jia-Long. "You are not allowed to address the emperor, not even if you plead for forgiveness. You are beyond redemption. Guards, take them outside. I am sure madam Lan doesn't want her salon stained further."

It all happened so fast, and Egill could not think clearly, when the three despicable ladies were dragged outside, screaming for mercy; their cries audible even for those still inside; and only stopping when their lives were ended. The six remaining attendants cried softly, mourning their lost friends, while the madam was on the floor begging for Yao's forgiveness. He did not grant her even a look, when they exited the salon; never to return.

Two sedan chairs were prepared and waiting for them, both with thrones, though one was larger and more intimidating – Yao's – and the second one had a smaller throne next to Jia-Long's seat; for Egill. The prince did his best not to look back at the corpses he was responsible for when he sat down next to Jia-Long, and the see-through curtains were pulled down to cover them for the public.

Six men carried their sedan chair towards Kwanyo; and the sky was almost fully black at this point – with the moon hid in the clouds; not that they would have been able to see it, either way; and the increased darkness had only succeeded in making the city seem brighter. The closer they got the louder Kwanyo seemed; the parade must have started. Music and laughter filled the air; and was a good distraction for Egill's should-be horrid conscience.

"Egill", Jia-Long said lowly, and he leant over the throne edge to look at his fiancé, and be able to speak quietly enough for him alone to hear what he said. "What was it that they said, specifically?"

Having been reminded of _them_ Egill hesitated, but he would always do what Jia-Long asked him to. "They called our relationship… loveless", he told him. "They referred to me as 'that thing'. And then said my hair was a mess, but that's not important-"

"It's important to me", Jia-Long said, and combed a hand through Egill's lovely white locks. "Very important." He smiled, but could tell that Egill was not as happy. "You did the right thing", he said. "Who are they to speak of our relationship?"

"The people of Xiang… they don't like me, do they?" Egill asked. "I'm a foreigner." Jia-Long brought his hand down to caress Egill's cheek.

"The women who attended to me", he said. "Said that I have a very beautiful fiancé." He smiled softly. "There are people who like you, and those who dislike you. Don't let haters get you down."

It was a lie, of course; the attendants hadn't dared to speak to him. But Jia-Long knew that Egill needed comfort; although, he was surprised that Egill hadn't gotten more upset with the killing of the women. Had he come to terms with the fact that sometimes, death was justified? Had he just hated the women for insulting their engagement so much that he simply didn't care for their worth as human beings?

Regardless, it was an improvement in Jia-Long's eyes. If Egill came to terms with it, he would be able to justify Jia-Long's kills as well, and any future slaughters. Especially since he would be governing Xiang alongside him, he needed to understand the nature of war.

"Thank you", Egill said softly, and Jia-Long leaned back in his throne. He couldn't be lovey-dovey with his beloved in public; and they had now reached Kwanyo; joined up by many guards on horses, and a man riding in front, announcing the arrival of the emperor and his heir. Egill was slightly disappointed, seated behind the curtains, that he could not see as much as he would have liked; but he had to be still, and perfect. A statue next to the perfection that was Jia-Long; a concept that didn't really bother him now. He tried to be content with being but a beautiful accessory, as long as Jia-Long viewed him differently; and he did; but it still felt dehumanizing. He would get used to it eventually, he supposed; and hoped. There were many things he had had to adjust to, and he had done so well; so for something this trivial it couldn't take long.

Without the ability to properly experience the festive parade or the architecture of Kwanyo Egill spent his time being carried around the city to think and observe; and his attention befell the people around them. The people who all got down on their knees with their heads bowed down when they passed weren't much different than he had Lukas had once been, Egill thought. He recalled when King Mathias had once passed them by in a similar manner, and Lukas had refused to bow down, with Egill hiding behind him. Mathias had personally left his carriage and approached Lukas, to make an example out of him; and Egill well remembered his words; "Bow down peasant, and beg for mercy." Lukas had responded by spitting him in his face, and so he had been dragged away by guards, leaving a crying and sick Egill behind. There was no doubt in even the mind of a child; Lukas would be executed.

The following month had been the worst in his life; he had been sick, starving, and left to die in the gutter. Without Lukas to take care of him he had been miserable, defenceless; living on garbage and the pity of random strangers passing by the alley. Then, out of nowhere, Lukas had appeared. His brother, whom he thought had been killed, was dressed in the robes of royalty, and was washed; cleaner than Egill had ever seen him. Lukas had helped him to his feet and promised him that everything would be all right, and that he would live in the castle from then on.

He never elaborated the details to Egill, but simply had said that Mathias and him had fallen in love with each other. After that, Egill was fed a luxurious meal at the castle, and with the marriage two months later between his brother and the king, he had been crowned prince.

Looking – sideway glancing – at the people of Kwanyo made him think again about telling Jia-Long the truth. He felt guilty, like he was deceiving him; when Egill wouldn't dream of doing something so horrid. But he was selfish, and chose to remain silent; if only to keep him by Jia-Long's side. Jia-Long was only looking forward, not sparing the people a glance even. It proved, at least to Egill, that he wouldn't even have noticed him if he had been something other than a prince. If Lukas had bowed down to King Mathias they would still be living in filthy alleys, and when the emperor of Xiang and his heir had arrived they would have gone unnoticed. It has simply been a coincidence that they met.

No, he realized as he pondered upon the issue. He had been sick for months, bound to the bed for weeks – limited to his room – but then he had felt better; so suddenly. He had risen from his bed for the first time in what seemed like an eternity, and he had done so right on the day when Jia-Long had visited. So it couldn't have been a coincidence. It was fate.

"Egill", Jia-Long spoke softly, looking forward still. "Is something wrong?"

"No…" Egill responded, careful not to look up at Jia-Long despite wanting to see him so badly. "I look forward to being alone with you, though." He blushed slightly when he spoke words so bold, and in the corner of his eye he thought he saw Jia-Long smile.

"Me too", the heir answered.

This time came quickly, when the sedan chairs were carried through a large gate in Kwanyo, and through a large square filled with people greeting them eagerly. When they reached the end of the stairs that lead up to the great castle the sedan chair Egill and Jia-Long travelled in was put down, and the curtain was pulled aside.

On the middle of the long staircase stood a man with a booming voice, calling out that the heir of the throne, their future emperor – master Wang Jia-Long – had returned to Kwanyo, alongside his stunning fiancé from Dankrieg, prince Egill. Accompanied by the announcement Jia-Long and Egill showed themselves, Egill wanting to cling to Jia-Long's arm harder than ever when they ascended the stairs with their arms linked, due to his nervousness. Everyone was looking at him – this odd, white haired boy with skin pure as snow, and eyes the colour of lilacs – and he knew in his heart that at least half of the people eyeing him disliked him without even having seen him before. A fair share were suspicious, others were just jealous, and a few simply who were spiteful in nature.

But perhaps, a few looked at him with eagerness, with awe, and with hope. Jia-Long had said that they were, and a few were certainly admiring his looks as well. Taking pride in superficial things was foolish, Lukas had taught him that, but Egill knew that he had grown vainer with the time spent in Xiang; and perhaps that was only a good thing. It pleased Jia-Long after all, when he saw him looking his best.

By the middle of the stairs they stopped, and walked to the left; with the announcer standing on the right. They turned to face the public; and for the first time Egill was able to truly appreciate Kwanyo. It was a city so large, yet wondrously detailed; he saw shops, open bars, and lights everywhere. The parade contained a paper dragon, he saw, dancing with the happy people; the citizens of Kwanyo who had not eagerly run into the square when it was opened to get a chance to see the emperor.

It was an overwhelming sight; such a view they had; and Egill again felt excited, knowing that this would all be Jia-Long's.

The announcer's booming voice again filled the square as Egill and Jia-Long's sedan chair had been taken away, and now Yao's was put down, and the emperor showed himself. This time the announcer called; "Our benevolent and fearless leader, our emperor has returned! All hail his imperial majesty, emperor Wang Yao!"

In Dankrieg, "all hail" would imply everyone cheering. Egill recalled his coronation as prince, he recalled Lukas and Mathias' wedding; it was always people clapping their hands, joyfully cheering them on; but here it was different. In Xiang, it meant complete silence; and everyone on their knees, worshipping Yao as he walked gracefully up the stairs. He stopped in the middle and turned, facing his people.

"I have returned to Kwanyo", he said proudly. "Speaking to you for the first time since our win against Jahon. Speaking to you for the first time since we signed an allegiance with the Northern country Dankrieg. Speaking to you for the first time since my heir got engaged to the prince of Dankrieg, the beauty now beside me." The people were allowed to raise their heads now to view Egill; and most importantly, Yao.

"It has been long since I spoke to you, but not a day has gone by when my heart was not filled with pride of the strength of the Xiangese people. Not a day has gone by when I have not thought of your courage. Not a day has gone by without me feeling your love for your country."

Unlike the announcer, Yao's voice was far from booming; but it was clear and serious as he spoke; and he had an amazing ability to captivate an audience, Egill learnt, without hand gestures or anger. Could Jia-Long do the same? Probably, Egill decided.

"Patriots of Xiang, may fortune shine upon you. With my return, Kwanyo shall be safer, poverty shall be fought, and starvation shall become a thing of the past, for Xiang is, and will always be, the greatest nation in the world!" With the last words Yao spoke louder, and they echoed through the square. "My children", he called. "My love for you is eternal. My love for Xiang just as much, for you and I are what makes Xiang great. Let us together spread Xiang's glory across the world together! For Xiang!" The last words he yelled, and the people echoed them, roaring "For Xiang!" on the top of their lunges.

"For Emperor Yao!" the announcer called, and again the people repeated the words blindly, while Yao turned around to continue up the stairs, now followed by Egill and Jia-Long.

The speech had left Egill confused; at the end, he had thought it sounded like a declaration of war almost, though he was uncertain of who the enemy was. Perhaps his Xiangese was still too flawed, and he had been mistaken, but certainly Yao had spoken about spreading Xiang. Did that include invasion? These things mattered to him now that he was to attend military meetings, but then again, they would tell him in time, so there was no reason to draw premature conclusions.

Soon the royalty reached the top of the stairs, and the large gate – with a golden dragon circling the wooden port, carved out and painted to shine; it was a symbol of great importance, which was fitting, as it lead to a throne room with a tall roof, large pillars and a dais for a throne with an elaborate pattern in the gold painted wood. However Yao did not sit down this time; it was no time to hold court, for it was late; time for a cup of evening tea before the bed called.

Accompanied by guards and with Yao in the lead they walked through a door behind the throne, exploring the large castle with the ceiling so high Egill felt lonesome, and walls so far apart their steps echoed. There were majestic pillars everywhere, and a few decorative vases and artwork, but the place felt stale in comparison to the castle in the mountain. Egill only found comfort in that he had to hold onto Jia-Long's arm, something he was more than comfortable with.

After a long journey through the halls they found themselves before a set of stairs, leading downwards to a port; and opening it, they saw what Egill had only been able to see ever so slightly through the slim openings in the walls on one side; a garden, complete with a temple near a slim creek that ran under the castle, and a bridge over it; alongside trees, flowers and colourful bushes, now at night lit by fireflies flocking around. On the other side of the garden was a lower building, looking more like a house than part of the palace walls that surrounded them.

"That's our living quarters", Jia-Long told him. "Where we live", he clarified, in case Egill did not understand.

It pleased Egill that they would live not within the large and stale palace – meant to brag more than to comfort the inhabitants – but instead in a humbler home with a lovely garden. But while humble, the house was vain in comparison to other houses in Xiang; with drawings like the ones covering an entire room in Yao's quarters at the old palace decorating the place, making Egill suspect the artist was the same. There were also vases with jade to beautify them, and the floors were of the finest wood – not making a sound as they walked over them – proving that this was the home of an emperor and not some simple nobleman.

"Yao", said Jia-Long, as the guards had stopped outside of the house. "Egill and I want to be alone." Yao turned around and looked at Jia-Long sceptically, but then gave in.

"Very well", he said. "I assume that you want to share bedroom as well."

"Yes."

"I will tell a servant", Yao said simply, and he turned around and walked away the opposite direction that Jia-Long was leading Egill in. How liberal Yao had been about Jia-Long and Egill sharing a bedroom surprised the prince, but he was also grateful for it. Yao wanted what was best, and them staying together was just that.

Instead of heading to the bedroom Jia-Long lead Egill to a room facing the garden, with the same wooden bars that Egill's old balcony had had, giving them a pleasant view from the comfortable low couch in the room. They Egill sat down on his knees properly, but Jia-Long was lounging casually. Before them was a low table, and soon two servants appeared; one who served them tea, and a second one who lit the red sphere lantern in the ceiling, which emitted a lovely crimson colour that suited well with the romance in the air.

"That hairstyle suits you", Egill commented when they were all alone, looking down at the cup of tea he had been poured, and blowing on it so it could cool.

"Thanks", Jia-Long replied. "I like your little flower", he said and brought up a hand to caress Egill's locks, and touch the hairpiece, while Egill drank.

"Thank you", Egill said, smiling softly, when he took down his cup. Soon Jia-Long's hand was on his, taking the cup of tea from him and drinking, rather than reaching for his own cup on the table. Egill didn't mind.

"You've seen Kwanyo now", Jia-Long said. "Sort of. What do you think?"

"It's nice", Egill responded. "I like it... but it's very large."

"Yes, much bigger than your little capital in Dankrieg", Jia-Long commented. "Xiang's better, so it shouldn't surprise you."

"It doesn't", Egill said. "Xiang is much bigger... it's only... uhn... natural, that Kwanyo is bigger."

Jia-Long decided to push him. "Do you miss Dankrieg?" he asked.

"No", Egill replied rather quickly. "It's much better here."

"But don't you miss your mother country at all?" Jia-Long asked.

"No", Egill said again, and he closed his eyes. He felt that he should tell Jia-Long now, finally, about his past. He should tell him how he grew up... he should tell him everything. "Jia-Long... I want to tell you something important", he mumbled, shy all of a sudden. Jia-Long sat up thusly, and he put his arm around Egill's waist.

"You can tell me anything, my love", he promised, whispering the words directly into Egill's ear before kissing his head.

But Egill couldn't. He had everything; he had Jia-Long. Losing that would be worse than death itself, and if there was any chance ever so slight that he could lose him he would do anything to stop it. It was fate; that Lukas had married the King, and he had been saved from the gutters. It was meant to happen; he had been fated to become prince, in order to meet and marry Jia-Long. Jia-Long wouldn't marry a street rat; so why make him think that Egill was one?

He just couldn't destroy everything they had.

"I love you", Egill said, turning around to look into Jia-Long's eyes. His cheeks were red, but he didn't want to look any other way.

After a while, the words sunk in, and Jia-Long smiled genuinely; hearing those words made his heart beat faster, for some reason.

"I love you too", he said, and brought his hands to Egill's face; bringing him close for a kiss.

The full moon in the sky was not needed to brighten Kwanyo, nor the palace, and so it continued to hide itself in the dark clouds.

* * *

><p><em>This is the last chapter before Christmas, so Merry Christmas to all of you! God Jul as we say in Swedish. <em>

_This won't be the last time you hear from me before Christmas though, I hope to have a HongIce oneshot up just in time. Stay tuned!_


	13. The Thistle Emperor is No More

**"The Thistle Emperor" is discontinued.**

__It has been for quite the while now, but I have been struggling with how to tell you. To those who have read and enjoyed this story, discussed it with me and reviewed, put it on story alert, favourite story, and followed it thus far; I am deeply sorry. I know how horrible it feels when you like a story and all of a sudden; there is nothing else. And you always feel like "but it was just getting to the good part". I am sorry.

There are three main reasons why this story is now discontinued, and I feel like I owe you an explanation. First of all, I am no longer in the Hetalia fandom. I do not care for the fandom at all, and avoid it as best I can. It has been this way for a few months now, and I am not coming back.

The second reason is perhaps even more important; I am no longer into writing fanfiction. I am not saying I will never post another fic, but it will probably be a one shot, like those I used to write. But as for long, WIPs I am almost one-hundred percent certain I will not be writing or posting any. I am focusing on my original stories now.

The third reason is what inspired the second reason; I don't think of The Thistle Emperor as fanfiction. The characters are so very loosely based of their Hetalia-personas that I haven't been able to think of them as "Iceland" and "Hong Kong", but only Egill and Jia-Long. When you write long stories with character development, manipulation and thick plots then you can't help but feel that the characters are "yours"; you're the one developing and exploring them, after all. But then realizing that they're "stolen", that they're "someone else's"; for me that is too much to handle. It is only in Hetalia that I've really written WIPs, so it was only now that I came to this conclusion, but essentially, I want to play and develop my own characters, so that I can write without guilt.

I am now working on my own story, and I am loving all of the characters I've created. I am not discouraging anyone else from writing fanfiction, but for me, I just cannot do both original writing and fanfiction at the same time. It doesn't feel right for me.

Again I must express how sorry I am for leaving you all. I loved this story, but I don't love it anymore, and I don't love it enough to continue. I have no idea what is going on in the Hetalia fandom at the moment, but hopefully you will find other stories to enjoy.

You are free to make up your own ends to The Thistle Emperor. Thank you all for reading the story, and this message.


End file.
